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Reviews
Teenage Caveman (2002)
Hands up if you equated Larry Clarke with good films?
I blame my housemate. He was wondering through the local video pit, and saw "From the director of 'Kids'..." blazing out from the shelf closest to his feet. What he was doing down there is his business, besides, he's an art student, so it was probably "ironic."
But as soon as it hit the tapehead, there were soon howls of derision from every poor soul in my living room at the general badness on display, and that was just the reaction to the bad color in the opening sequence. Suddenly, the realisation dawned that the next 90 minutes would be very, VERY long.
The basic plot is a bunch of teenagers leave their colony and find the Big City, naturally deserted after the obligitory apocalypse/societal breakdown. Somehow, they manage to oh-so conveniently walk into the one building that has other kids there, and discover sex, drugs, and rock n' roll in the space of about ten minutes. So far, so Kids, but there is one thing missing; the fact that Kids was A GOOD FILM. This clearly is not.
Basically, and I'm spoiling it for your benefit, sex causes your ribcage to be catapaulted across the room, along with the rest of the contents of your sternum, in a sequence so good, they decided to show it twice. Action replay obviously didn't die out with everything else...
So their new pals are actually mutants (dear God), and generally live how they like, which involves booze and snorting coke, and plenty of sex for reasons that obviously don't gain valuable press inches due to controversy. Yes, some sequences play out like Kids-lite, but you'd be hard pressed to find them due to your will to live being crushed somewhere in the first 20 minutes. Indeed, the rather spectacular gore effects seem to be in there to scream "WAKE UP!!!" at any poor soul still sat there watching this excretia. How they roped in Stan Winston to do these is a mystery that will never be solved, unless he actually did direct the sequences, which seems to be the case: Clark does film, Winston does misplaced SFX, nobody did script.
All in all, watch this, then find yourself desperately rummaging around for a copy of Kids, and watching it three times. There is a film-maker's folly, and then, lower than that, there is Teenage Caveman.
28 Days Later... (2002)
Two reels good, one reel bad...
Once again the policy of Sneak Previewing anything remotely horror on Halloween gives you the power to ruin the film for everyone else. I say this, as there may be some Spoilers ahead.
The premise is all well and good, with the populace infected with a viral form of Road Rage (to quote Danny Boyle), decimating it within a month to a few survivors. The intro gets to the heart of the matter, as Animal Rights activists unintentionally unleash the virus in a stylish, and well edited, sequence.
However, the film really kicks in as Jim wakes up in a hospital, with the key slid under the locked door. As he wanders the halls, the place is dead - no people, no sound, even the phones are dead. Soon he is on the streets of London, desolate with no signs of life - a sequence worth the entrance fee alone, as Westminster Bridge is covered in discarded trinkets, piles of money lie around The Bank of England, with overturned buses lining the roads, and the centre of Piccadilly Circus awash with missing posters. Soon, Jim seeks sanctuary in a church, and the action begins in a typical way - an "Infected" Priest approaches him, much in the same way as every single zombie film has an encounter with a lone zombie, and the protagonist has no idea of what is happening, even apologising for striking it down.
Skipping a few plot details, eventually Jim and Selina meet with father and daughter Frank and Hannah, and find out there may well be safety in Manchester with a group of soldiers, and decide to get out of London - in Frank's black cab, including another great sequence occurs in the Dartford Tunnel, but I won't spoil it - even if it is in the trailer.
However, once they reach Manchester (a burnt out ruin), the film starts to unravel, skipping the interesting premise of the first hour and turning into Day of the Dead pretty damn quick - the characters of the soldiers is very similar (if a tad more Cockney), and they have a pet "Infected" (like Bub the zombie), among many others, at which point you start to question if the first half was just liberally borrowing from Omega Man/Quiet Earth/Rabid/The Stand.
Also, in the second half, the characterisation goes to Hell. Many of the soldiers are cut & paste, with the exception of Sgt Farris and Christopher Eccleston's Major West.
As a recommendation, the first hour stands up well, but the last third suffers from a feeling of being tacked on and ripped off. Personally, I blame writer Alex Garland, who can't write without a gory meltdown to finish, such as the book version of The Beach.
All in all, the film works up to a point (ie, when in London), but as soon as the soldiers are introduced, everything falls away - even the DV camerawork starts to look just ugly, when a few minutes before, in the sequence in the field, it looked beautiful.
Seven out of Ten, with an asterix marked "Could Do Better."
The Bunker (2001)
Iffy.
I caught a Sneak Peek of it at The Showroom on Halloween, expecting it the be something worth the buzz. Unfortunately, it didn't quite make the grade.
The film seemed more of a patchwork of films like The Keep, The Haunting (proper version, not JdB's heresy), even stretching to The Shining and Blair Witch in tone, if not visual style.
Some parts seemed cheesy (towards the end is one VERY groansome segment), characters were templates sprayed into the wrong film, and any unease was killed by the obviousness of what was going to happen next.
Yes, it did have certain elements that worked well, and making a film on a tight budget the way you want it (£1.3m) is commendable, but at times you need more.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
That's the Kevin Smith we missed!
After the let-down of Chasing Amy and the patchy Dogma, you'd think that he'd lost it. But JSBSB more than makes up for it.
Packed with typical Smith quotability, oozing references, and more cameos than anyone could keep up with, this is a fitting end to the View Askewniverse cycle, as well as the only film to leave me needing medical attention due to laugh-induced injuries since, well, Mallrats.
How my friends envy me that I caught it in New York this summer, while it won't get a UK release for several months yet...
Fight Club (1999)
I am Jack's gushing praise
What we have here is quite possibly the finest use of celluloid in history.
This film is just outstanding on so many levels it's shunning by The Academy at The Oscars just goes to show how out of touch and inbred they are.
We have Brad Pitt giving the performance of his career, and Edward Norton showing once again his talent, and even Helena Bonham Carter proves there's more to her than Merchant Ivory productions. The script is witty, fresh, and eminently quotable, the soundtrack a masterpiece (courtesy of The Dust Brothers), and the whole thing looks fantastic.
Your life is ending one second at a time, and this better take up (rough estimate) 7860 of them, or Eternal Damnation will be next on the horizon.
VIEW/BUY/RENT/STEAL!!!
Korn: Who Then Now? (1997)
Korn-U-Kopia!!!!
So it may be the typical band home video, but it's a must for any Korn fans out there.
We have the videos for Blind, Shots & Ladders, Clown and Faget for starters, Clown being a quality video, and Blind still the standout track of their career. We also have them rehearsing/recording tracks from Life is Peachy (Good God and Wicked-complete with Chino Moreno-being most obvious), and a few other tracks speckled through to keep the interest.
Also, there is a lot of footage of the band spends just hanging around the studio, quite often drunk (Fieldy staggering up to the camera is one image that I'll never forget), as well as celebrating Head's birthday, which leads to the recording of Lowrider.
An interview with Ross Robinson-as opposed to the band trying to avoid giving one, numerous theories to the origin of the name, footage from their third gig ever fill out the 42 minutes.
Until the next home video comes out, as good a document to the workings of the Bakersfield 5-piece as you could get.
Fear Effect (2000)
Interactive cyberpunk on crack!!!
Whoa! What can I say that doesn't delve into the murky world of cliche?
Imagine what happened if Manga made a combination of Resident Evil, Broken Sword and Metal Gear Solid and that is more of less what Fear Effect is all about.
The game starts just like MGS in so many ways, including the ability to 'stealth' enemies, with RPG (where Broken Sword comes from) undertones, but as soon as you leave Disk One, it takes a turn for the dark and sinister, Resident Evil style.
The use of weaponry is very Hong Kong movie style (where influences clearly come from-the game starts in a Bladerunneresque Hong Kong), such as using 2 pistols at once, although the further you go, the more useless they become.
And events of the final disk has to be one of the most atmospheric experiences ever put onto the PlayStation, outstripping anything Raccoon City can muster, especially acting wise.
A must buy, albeit with a 'Mature' audience in mind.
Biohazard 2 (1998)
AWESOME!!!
Since my mis-spent youth was spent down many an arcade, gaming is a cornerstone to my life.
When I got my Playstation what I really needed was some games with longevity, and one of the games I got with it was the original Res Evil. Having been blown away (or totally mortified), I decided to bag RE2-and found it to be an even greater game.
This time everything has been tweaked for the better, barring the ever attrocious dialogue. The action is enough to keep the carnage candy purists in their element, whilst the puzzles will keep the RPG clan happy-although they are far easier than those in the original.
Spreading the game out onto 2 disks with different missions gives the game plenty of replay value, and there are plenty of secrets to find as well-something the original lacked.
One minor quibble, not enough heart stopping moments in comparison to Res Evil 1-although the first time the arms came in the window I shot 10 feet in the air!!!
Got Tofu?
Pi (1998)
Gushing praise
After a long search to track it down on video (Blockbuster sucks), I bagged a copy, slammed it in, and didn't even move for the duration of the picture, it's that good. The whole thing left me stunned, I have never seen anything like it, which is always a good thing in the current state of cinema.
Refreshingly original, although there IS a touch of Lynch in there, and a good workout for the brain, hopefully Aronofsky will go on to bigger projects, although it will take a miracle to better Pi.
Excellent performances, good pace (something Eraserhead lacked, to knock that comparison on the head), dialogue that doesn't leave you groaning and a healthy display of style, an altogether outstanding package. Soundtrack isn't bad either.