Change Your Image
Dave Taylor
Reviews
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
What a huge disappointment...
Same characters and same lines as the first one only it was done poorly. Mike Myers is so much better than this tripe. Dr. Evil is now an all-out pop icon. He has lost all his charm from Austin I. In the first film, Dr. Evil walked that precarious line between madman and culturally hip wannabe. Now, he is just boring. There was nothing innovative about this picture.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Jar Jar Binks????????
Someone tell me, am I the only one that wished the death of this annoying creature? Or should I say, have his program deleted. The characters in this film were so flat and dull I couldn't tell the difference between what was computer-generated and what wasn't. This film should have been titled, "The NAFTA Menace." Even if Lucas made a film about taxes at least he could have focused on some character depth. What the hell was Jar Jar Binks? Ok, they had a fart gag, Jar Jar got knocked in the groin, and he stepped into excrement. What is this, a vaudeville show? Gimme a break.
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
poorly written; cloyingly sentimental
Would someone explain to me why there must be strings welling in the background when any two people engage in conversation? Wait, don't tell me, John Williams might be hiding in the bushes with a violin. Are we expected to believe that the government cares about one soldier? When did the government ever have a heart? Despite all of the forced dialogue Spielberg's direction is pretty impressive.
Titanic (1997)
Insipid and vacuous!!!
Why the heke did this do so well at the box office? It's just another Hollywood blockbuster. The love story is so thin and weak I was offended. The dialogue was just plain trite and banal. That wasn't romantic when they made love in that car. That was just a cheap, tawdry, 90's one-night stand!!! If DiCaprio lived as soon as they made it to the dock he would have dumped her. He already got what he wanted! If you want true love see City Lights!!!
The Rock (1996)
more flashy Hollywood garbage
I lost respect for Connery on the "f--- the prom queen" line. What was that? This film was full of the blockbuster trademarks: banal characters and terrible writing. It also took itself way too seriously. Con Air was much better for that fact alone. Con Air was almost satirical at times. What was that director thinking? The action sequences were very poor. If you like fast-paced editing watch a Peckinpah film.
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
the shark has E.S.P!
That's right, folks, this Jaws can read your mind and more! This film was a disgrace but it has strong comedic value. Watch this one with friends and I think you'll agree. The family needs to get away so where do they go? To another beach!!! Why the !@#$ didn't they go to New Mexico! And to top it all off, the shark beats the plane from Maine to Florida! That is one amazing shark!
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
Greatest Satire Ever!!!
Too many great things to say about this one. If you haven't seen all the unused footage you're missing out. Find out about David St. Hubbins' son. Hear the details about Derek Smalls' solo album, "it's a Smalls World." See what happens when they try to replace Nigel. If you can find the missing scenes you need to watch them. I saw them on a laser disc so they might have released them on DVD.
City Lights (1931)
Chaplin at the top of his form!
Moviegoers that claim Titanic is romantic need to see the last 5 minutes of this picture. The last 5 minutes of this film embody what love is all about. You don't need words to convey something this deep!
A Simple Plan (1998)
brilliant morality play!
Not since Treasure of the Sierra Madre have I seen such a wonderful slow descent into madness! If you're into dark, human nature revealing films, this is for you. The direction is superb. Billy Bob Thornton was robbed at the Oscars.
Jackie Brown (1997)
nice, methodical and character-driven.
What a refreshing film! Jackie Brown was anything but the flashy, mile-a-minute flimmaking I've come to expect from Hollywood. This was a wonderfully done, slow and methodical crime story. I highly recommend it.
Amistad (1997)
caked-on sentimentality
When will Speilberg stop forcing emotion on us? Why can't two people have a conversation without hearing strings welling in the background? This film takes a moving story and turns it into more Hollywood tripe. I actually thought I would see dinosaurs pop out during the rousing finale.