Pucki Reviews

Showtime (2002)

Decent time-waster

[6/10 · 2 May 2002]

I did not intent to see Showtime in the first place, but when a friend of mine and myself walked into the theatre of choice, it was the only movie that would start soon and interested us both. So we went in. We weren't disappointed - if you keep in mind that we didn't expect something special.

It's a done-by-the-numbers buddy-action-flick we're all used to for about twenty years now, slightly updated with the reality TV angle, and quite competently made.

It was good to see that Eddie Murphy still can pull off his shtick like he did in the original Beverly Hills Cop, De Niro has a couple of funny scenes, although he's completely underused as actor, and the William Shatner cameo is a hoot.

So, if you're in the mood for a quite old-fashioned buddy-movie without any special merits except for a couple of decent action scenes and a good laugh every now and then, Showtime may be your movie. Nothing to tell your ancestors about, but there are more unpleasant ways to kill an hour and a half. 6/10

Warhead (1996)

laughable excuse of an action-movie

[2 May 2002]

Err... whoever told Frank Zagarino that he's the up-and-coming new action hero - time for a job change, pal!

Okay, most "modern age" action heroes have no acting talent, no screen charisma, but Zagarino beats them all (although it was sort of nice to see him playing the good guy for a change).

Pair that with an idiotic script, absolutely ridiculous action scenes and generally annoying (and stupid - take the "ambush" on the bridge as a shining example - if I hadn't sent my suspension of disbelief out to get some air before starting the movie it probably would have killed itself trying to grasp the concept of these guys being an elite special unit) behaviour of each and every character in the film and you'll end with an unwatchable mess (although it's sort of fascinating in a trainwreck-way of things... you just can't keep from looking at it).

Highlight of on-screen idiocy is the "hacking battle" between Evans and his daughter... hey, they could have padded the running time by expanding this exchange of "activate warhead" and "disarm warhead" up to three hours (be thankful they didn't...).

It's a movie that's even too idiotic to be bad in a funny way like so many others - it's just a real real real stupid movie. 1/10

Heaven (I) (2002)

What a disappointment...

[4/10 · 23 February 2002]

I didn't expect this to be "Run Lola Run Part 2" or something like that. What I expected was a movie that would go somewhere. "Heaven" may be called by some viewers a masterpiece about guilt, innocence and punishment, but it loses track the longer it goes. Tykwer sure is a master of style and photography, and some of the shots are breathtaking, but the story itself (although interesting enough to start with) builds no momentum, has very little chemistry between the lead characters, the dialogue is often pointless. Furthermore, the movie is sooo predictable (it telegraphs its ending before the opening credits!). About midway the movie loses steam completely and resolves into a exercise of boredom, which has very little redeeming value provided by Cate Blanchett's fine acting. Even if "Heaven" is by no means near to the visual narrative of "Run Lola Run" or (the underrated) "Princess and the Warrior", "Heaven" seems to me to be victory of style over content (sometimes I was about to yell "I know you do amazing photography, but get on with the story, Tom!"). In Tykwer's previous movies the visuals propelled the story, here they just slow it down (as if the story would not move slow enough by itself). It sure didn't help that the movie has a bilingual approach, meaning most of the dialogue was Italian with German subtitles, the rest German (and speaking of that, some of the subtitles were unreadable - please note: white subtitles on a bright background won't work!). I'd rather had it subtitled completely for a more "complete mood". I seldom wish a movie would finally end, but with "Heaven", I checked my watch about every five minutes towards the finale. I don't think Kieslowski would totally approve of Tykwer's adaption of his screenplay, as the Polish director usually did more with his characters. Here, Tykwer wastes a potent story for a showcase of his moviemaking skills, as if to prove that he can direct a heart-moving drama as well as fast-paced videoclip-like movies. I'd rate it a 4/10 because of some nice photography work and Cate Blanchett, who does her best, but compared to his previous efforts, Tykwer's first non-German production lacks most of that what made "Run Lola Run" and "The Princess and the Warrior" so entertaining and intelligent.

History of the World: Part I (1981)

Hit-and-miss comedy

[8/10 · 20 December 2001]

The master of parody strikes again and this time he takes on the entire history of the world, no less...

While I found the concept of several segments from short skit to half-feature length mini-movie just to be the right one for this kind of film, the segments do differ in quality very much (and, sadly, quality gets poorer towards the end).

Although the film does have its weak points (the French Revolution segment drags, despite some good gags every now and then, the Stone Age sequence)some material is hilariously funny with the Spanish Inquisition musical number being the showstopper. The Roman Empire story also comes off good (especially the great supporting actors in this segment) and be sure to stay tuned for the trailer for "Part 2".

As a whole, the film cannot hold ground against "Spaceballs", "Blazing Saddles" or "Frankenstein Junior", but for a decent viewing and some good laughs, tune it in when it appears on TV.

White Magic (1994)

Finally, Bogner gives up plotting...

[3/10 · 13 December 2001]

...and just films what he does best, some amazing stuntwork.

There is indeed sort of a basic plot circling about master ski artist John Eaves (playing himself) and his master-snowboarder son (played by a master snowboarder named Reto Wosshisname), but, bottom line, this is merely an excuse for some more, some less spectacular stunt sequences, subsequently mostly on ski. There are a couple of funny bits, one involving German former skiing world champion Markus Wasmeier, some unfunny bits involving a fat American tourist chasing John for some reason or other (played by an actress by the name of Sharon Stone, which lured many-a-unsuspecting male to the ticket booth, 'cause she was top billed), some cool lookin' stuff you'd better never try at home (or at your ski resort) and some other stuff thrown in for good measure like paragliding, bungee-jumping etc.

Not much of a movie, granted, "White Magic" plays more like one of those pause-filling music videos aired by most sports channels when they're out of other material to broadcast.

If you can be entertained that easily, you might be amused, but I even got more kicks out of "Fire, Ice & Dynamite."

The Blade Master (1983)

Something you just have to love Cinecitta for...

[2/10 · 20 February 2000]

I mean, you just have to love the Italian film industry. Someone came up with a post-doomsday action movie ("Road Warrior") and the Italians were busy for years doing one rip-off after another. Then some other one came up with a successful barbarian movie ("Conan") and the Italians were busy... eh, see above.

Besides countless other variations of the theme (one of my favorites is Umberto Lenzi's "The Barbarians" starring the Paul twins) the Ator series was created. And this, the second one, is probably the worst (or best, depending on your point of view).

Ator is called back into action by his old teacher, who has discovered some kind of nuclear power that, of course, has to be protected so it won't get into wrong hands. The old man sends his daughter to Ator, and after a few complications Ator, his sidekick Tong and the girl set back to the castle, which meanwhile has fallen to some evildoer (of course, an old "class mate" of Ator). Somewhere along the way the heroic trio forgets about the plot and eradicates some giant snake-worshipping cult for the fun of it (not before some virgins are sacrificed). Just in time before the madman finally loses his temper and kills the wise teacher our heroes remember their duties, invent hanggliding and grenades and save the day.

Included: terrible acting by all participants (especially O'Keeffe), incredibly hilarious "special effects" (you just have to adore the snake fight scene, which must be sort of a hommage to "Bride of the Monster"), badly staged fight scenes, numerous continuity errors (Ator flies two different hanggliders during the climatic battle, watch for it, just an example) and an overall non-understanding of the concept of history (cavemen, "civilized" barbarians, castle-builders, all thrown in one film).

If you're, like me, devoted to bad movies, this is the one of the series to see, you'll probably end up ROTFL. For the records: the Malta-filmed third part is actually quite watchable.

Considering Joe D'Amato's other efforts this is probably his most entertaining movie, as he certainly has failed to deliver watchable horror or erotic movies. But I strongly have the opinion that this was completely by accident.

Spider Baby or, the Maddest Story Ever Told (1967)

Bizarre, eerie, unique...

[8/10 · 7 February 2000]

I first stumbled on this movie via some clips on the "Switchblade Sisters" laserdisc and immediately put it on my "wanna-have"-list. And I sure wasn't disappointed when I watched the complete film (no two weeks later).

Jack Hill creates a weird story circling about the strange Meryee family which suffers from some strange disease, causing their members to degenerate into primitive pre-human lifeforms (or something like that), or as Lon Chaney puts it out "rotting of the brain". Chaney himself, of course, is - in a fine performance - the loyal caretaker who suddenly has to deal with the fact that some relatives are trying to get their hands on the family estate (and heritage).

Besides great cinematography (under the given budget) and the genuine storyline one has to admire the characters, making the viewer think of something like "Addams Family" on Crack.

Classic stuff, with some bits which really are memorable (e.g. Chaney's groan "It's going to be full moon tonight" when the nerd hero and his love interest are discussing horror films in general and "The Wolfman" in special). And, last but not least, there's always Sid Haig...

Rent it, buy it, see it, believe it.

The Peeping Tom (1997)

Superb Cat.-III-Thriller

[9/10 · 6 February 2000]

That's what updating a classic thriller (this is loosely based on the 1960 film by Michael Powell) Hong Kong style looks like.

Mark Chen is the nutcase getting his kick of murdering young women with pretty legs and filming his deeds (of course, raping the victims before comes quite natural). Jade Leung (of "Black Cat" fame) is the young policewomen whose paths accidentally cross with those of the killer. He falls in love with her, infiltrates her life and preys on her sister and her lover.

For a HK Cat. III thriller this has a rather straightforward story, fine acting by the leads, and very stylish direction. Atmospheric, violent (to a certain degree - there are much more violent Cat. III movies) , erotic - highly recommended to all fans of modern Hong Kong moviemaking.

Feel the Motion (1985)

Even old Eddie Wood would have been ashamed...

[1/10 · 4 February 2000]

What would you expect from a movie that opens with a slate "This film should be played LOUD"?

"Der Formel Eins Film" was a sad effort to adapt a successful "Top-of-the-pops"-like TV music show to the big screen. Obviously the producers had the idea that it would be enough to throw in a couple of pop stars and then get away with no story, no actors and no humour. Probably all participants had their deal of fun doing this, but watching it is almost unbearable.

I guess it would be quite funny to ask Campino, mastermind of German punk legend "Die Toten Hosen", about their appearance in this movie as "running gag", trying to sneak in the show in various idiotic disguises (at least that lead to a funny mini-album).

Example of the gags? You've been warned: "Let's go to the fitness center". - "F**kness center?"

The 80's might have become some kind of cult era. If the whole decade would've been like this movie, we'd have to thank our maker that we've gotten out there alive... Go and watch some MTV instead.

Who Am I? (1998)

Far from being Jackie's best, but still entertaining

[7/10 · 12 January 2000]

"Who am I?" is another example of a "latter-day" Jackie Chan movie. While still entertaining, the movie fails to recreate the energy of his older flicks. Higher production values and a couple of impressive fight scenes cannot entirely overcome that the story is to weak to keep the two hours film together which indicates the major problem: the movie is far too long. When Jackie finally comes to his best, the fights, he is still great, but between these fights there's too little new, including the umpteenth car chase through a market street. Don't misunderstood - "Who am I?" is by no means a bad movie, it's just not in the same league as earlier works like "Police Story", "Supercop" or "Project A". About on par with "Rumble in the Bronx" and "First Strike". If you want to see *really* good "new" Jackie Chan movies, go an rent "Mr. Nice Guy" or "Thunderbolt".

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Not Halloween, but quite a scary movie

[5/10 · 26 November 1999]

Okay, as anyone has pointed out so far, this one has nothing to do with the rest of the Halloween series, but that alone is no reason to damn the movie.

Although the plot does have its fair share of holes, the story itself is rather interesting, if farfetched, being sort of a mystical BODY SNATCHERS version, there are quite good scares, atmosphere is rather creepy and Tom Atkins, IMHO, delivers a quite good performance.

The time I saw H3 for the first time, about 10 years ago, it scared the hell out of me and the idea of the masks really gave me the creeps - and during the ending I was near to a heart attack (okay, I was younger that time and had not seen as many horror movies as by now, but anyway)... and that was the heavily cut German version without all the gore.

As many have pointed out before H3 would have a much better reputation if it only had been released as a single movie, not as entry in the series. It has its flaws, but still it delivers its scares. I'd give it a 6 out of 10.

Gloomy Sunday (1999)

Surprise, surprise - this is good!

[9/10 · 21 November 1999]

I did not necessarily expect this to be a real good movie. Stories taking place during the Nazi regime and WW2, especially when made by Germans, sometimes tend to be ultra-politically-correct. But, surprise, surprise. Rolf Schübel's first feature (he did documentaries before) uses backdrop of Nazi-occupied Budapest to deliver a meaningful "menage-a-quatre", wrapped in a free interpretation of creation of famous suicide hymn "Gloomy Sunday". Fine acting all over the place, especially by Krol and Becker (still brave in German moviemaking to show a Nazi not as a complete monster, even if he is, after all, the bad guy), and despite the overall sad story executed surprisingly lighthanded. Drama, a touch of humor, some suspense and even some sex (however, the latter seems to be unnecessary sometimes - it would have worked without or with less). Not to be forgotten: excellent soundtrack album, including several versions of "Gloomy Sunday". Definitely one of the best German movies of 1999.

Tale of the Mummy (1998)

I'm sorry, but it's a waste of time

[3/10 · 21 November 1999]

Good mummy films are hard to find and this isn't one either. Even compared to the Brendan-Fraser-"Mummy" this Mulcahy-version, from what I have heard object to heavy post-production-hampering, is, despite all assembled talent, a loser. Starting with script confusion, wooden acting, ending with amazingly poor special FX (very disappointing if you consider that KNB, the guys who made the incredible FX for "From Dusk Till Dawn", even co-produced), in fact some of the worst CGI-effects I've seen for quite a long time. Maybe the two-hour cut helps putting some of the loose ends together, but this 84-min-cut, available on home video in Germany, is just a waste of time. Final plot twist is somewhat surprising, though.

A shame Mulcahy once again fails to live up to his "Highlander" fame.

Space Mutiny (1988)

Don't you get it? This is fun!

[9/10 · 21 November 1999]

Okay, okay - obviously this is a piece of crap, if there ever was one. But it's terribly funny! I nearly laughed myself to death when watching this for the first time and I immediately got to the store and bought a copy for my collection (and I even didn't have the treat of MST3K, but had to stick with the original version). Where else do you get this share of incredibly bad acting, production values that indicate a budget of about the average amount in my wallet (the vision of brick walls on a space ship makes me giggle even now), the most hilarious car(t) chase ever made, Galactica-stock footage in a quantity you can skip three entire reruns of the series - hey, I think I have to go and see it once more right now... This IS "Plan 10 from outer space"... it's the ultimate party movie!

Linie 1 (1988)

Nearly successful, but not quite

[7/10 · 21 November 1999]

It's the same old story once again... young girl from the middle of nowhere comes to the big city to find her dreamboy. In this case, young Nathalie comes to Berlin (with the wall still standing) to find rock singer Johnny, but to no avail. Quite lost in the subway system she crosses paths with several low-lifes, punks, homeless people, dealers. Bambi, small-time dealer with the golden heart, promises to deliver Johnny ("dead or pudding-shaped"). This is an adaption of a successful musical created back in 1985 by the GRIPS theatre, which especially deals in musicals for a younger audience; a play which has achieved cult status in Germany (it is still played occasionally with part of the original cast). The movie adaption features quite a couple of the original musical cast (including Dieter Landuris, who started a TV career afterwards), but several sequences of the musicals are missing (movie is about one-and-a-quarter hour shorter than the stage version), some of the songs were altered, not always to the better, and director Hauff probably was not quite the right man for the job. Anyway, the movie still delivers some laughs, but the stageplay is much better, as it makes its points more clearly. If you're in Berlin, check out the papers if it is performed...

Run Lola Run (1998)

More a comment on the comments...

[10/10 · 17 July 1999]

Well, first of all, I loved the movie (with a slight dose of local patriotism, since Berlin, where the movie takes place, is where I live) and watched it already twice in Germany but recently I had the opportunity to see it once again in San Francisco and I was quite curious how an American audience would deal with it.

Granted, Tom Tykwer took a lesson or two regarding new stylish directing a la Tarantino, but, after all, it's a foreign, subtitled film and not one of those you'll rate "quite nice". Love it or hate it, that is.

I'd read some reviews in the local papers from mediochre to praise but wasn't sure what to expect in the theatre. To my surprise it was quite full and, what did surprise me even more, the crowd actually liked it, there was even applause.

Reading the comments here (the first 20, at least) I see more praise than negative reviews, too, what leads me to the conclusion that German filmmaking is not so bad as we Germans usually make it (on the other hand, "23" and "Bis zum Horizont und weiter" were excellent films, too) and that there still is a market for good foreign films in the USA. So there still is hope for the continental celluloid industry.

And anyway, if you haven't seen "Run Lola Run" by now, you should finally go and do it. For me (and obviously I'm not alone with this opinion) it's a kinetic masterpiece of modern moviemaking. And it's way cool, too...

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

After all, a huge disappointment

[3/10 · 17 July 1999]

Checking the previous votes I might be in an extreme minority, but I dare to say it nevertheless...

"The Phantom Menace" is, compared to 4, 5 and even 6 a major letdown. This movie is nothing more than a bad excuse for, admitted, mostly astounding special FX bonanza, but nearly everything else what made 4 and 5 so special for a whole generation is missing. There's no sense of wonder, you don't care for the characters (as far as you can title the persons in the movie "characters", which I wouldn't). The movie just juggles its way from one fight/action scene to the next with barely no story development (okay, okay, I know, it shall only set the backdrop for 2 and 3, but some itsy-bitsy plot would've been really nice).

What can be said about acting? Liam Neeson does his best and is the sole highlight of the film, Nathalie Portman was nice, the rest - blah... Especially Ewan McGregor had basically nothing to do, Samuel L. Jackson was in the movie (you can't say much more) and the C3PO part could've been spared easily. Darth Maul could have been an interesting villain, but what did they do with him?

The only scene which really had some suspense was the podrace, even if it is nothing more than a rip-off of "Ben Hur", but at least it was well staged and executed.

TPM is, in my opinion, nothing more than a nearly average popcorn movie that's rather insulting to anyone older than 12 (and, I would like to point that out again, I really love 4 and 5 and still like 6), and for that, it's extremely violent, making me wonder once again about the PG rating.

Ironically, Disney's "Tarzan" which I watched the next night did a far better job as kiddies movie which is also highly entertaining for adults.

Tarzan (1999)

Disney still can do it!

[9/10 · 17 July 1999]

I really must say, this was a pleasant surprise...

Being not that big Disney fan I entered the theatre basically because there was nothing of special interest to see, last Disney feature I'd seen before being "Pocahontas".

And I loved the movie. It simply has it all - breathtaking animation, a rather faithful adaption of the story, a good share of humour, a good dose of action and excellent characterization, and, not to be forgotten, great songs by Phil Collins (although I'm not a fan of his usual solo works).

As I said in my comment to the new Star Wars movie, "Tarzan" succeeds in all points that "The Phantom Menaces" fails so bitterly - it's a movie perfect for kids but also highly entertaining for adults.

Go and see it, you won't regret...

The Guyver (1991)

This is fun!

[8/10 · 27 May 1999]

Okay, granted, this is a very silly movie. The plot is ridiculous, so are the monster FX, despite Screaming Mad George's fame. But the actors seem to have their fair share of fun and so does the viewer. Some scenes are truly classic and Linnea Quigley's cameo is a scream (sic!). Entertaining and funny, yet somehow campy - but isn't it that why we watch this kind of movies? The dull sequel is to be avoided...

Caged in Paradiso (1989)

No Escape!

[6/10 · 27 May 1999]

This is an enjoyable, but unspectacular B movie which interestingly was made years before similar-plotted "No Escape". Irene Cara stars as innocent wife who accompanies her convicted terrorist husband to the laser-guarded prison island of Paradiso. When the couple is separated, Irene is picked up by a tribe of amazons which try to maintain some degree of civilization against the savage male prisoners. Trouble starts when the couple meets again and the beloved husband turns out to be equally vicious as the other men and finally convinces his meanwhile likewise imprisoned terrorist leader to attack the womens camp.

Nice photography, quite a good performance by Paula Bond, Irene does a bit too much whining and the end is not really convincing, but pretty OK fare for its price tag.

Treasure of the Moon Goddess (1987)

Please, bury this one!

[1/10 · 27 May 1999]

And another contender for the fancy title "Worst Movie ever made".

An ultra-cheap production which may have been intended as spoof on the Indiana-Jones-kind of adventure flicks, carried out so dull you can hardly stand it.

Even Linnea Quigley can't help - she stars as rock singer on tour in the south american jungle (!) who bears some resemblance to the obscure "Moon Goddess", worshipped by some obscure tribe and, of course, key to a giant treasure.

When played for the laughs, it is just boring, when action occurs, the boredom just increases. Sometimes unnecessary violent, but even that can keep you awake.

This should be buried deeper down than any forgotten treasure...

Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987)

Yeah, I like it!

[9/10 · 27 May 1999]

This is by all means one of my entire B favorites. A decent futuristic re-working of "The Most Dangerous Game", well photographed with some nice sets, the one and another unintentional laugh, and - main asset - three very attractive babes to look at. Special effects are OK for the money spent, acting is not too bad compared to the average Band/Corman/DeCoteau/Ray-quickie standard either, this is still fun if you're watching it for the twentieth time.

Bis zum Horizont und weiter (1999)

Maybe the definite East Germany movie

[9/10 · 22 April 1999]

Eastern Germany, nearly a decade after the wall came down.... Stahnke, unemployed former miner, kidnaps the judge who just sentenced to jail his girlfriend for prostitution charges. His plan to get his girl out of jail fails because at first no-one misses the judge as she just had announced her long vacation. More out of desperation Stahnke brings his hostage to his hometown, where the judge has to pose as his girlfriend for his mother. Meanwhile the real girlfriend escapes from jail, police on her trail.

This sounds quite like a good thriller story, but Peter Kahane, once acclaimed DEFA director in GDR-times, sets his movie more as a melodramatic comedy. The pacing is considerably slow, gives the actors plenty of time to develop the characters, to make the viewer care for them. And they all use it very well. Wolfgang Stumph shows that he's much more than just another comedian as in Peter Timm's "Go Trabi Go" films or in his TV efforts "Salto Postale" and "Salto Kommunale". Nina Petri is excellent as his girlfriend, just as Corinna Harfouch as kidnapped judge. The film really is about the kind of people for whom the changes in Germany, the fall of communism and the rise of the western system, didn't work out, the "Wendeverlierer" (losers of the change), as they are referred to in Germany - and it indeed talks true.

Besides, the film is beautifully photographed and gives the devastated landscapes of not-longer-used East German mining facilities quite a surreal look. And the effect of the Udo Lindenberg song "Hinter dem Horizont" as soundtrack tagline cannot be under-estimated - this song obviously did have to wait quite a long time for the right occasion.

"Bis zum Horizont und weiter" came as a real pleasant surprise. It has laughs, it has suspense, and during the tragic finale, I was not ashamed to have tears in my eyes.

See it!

Eastern Condors (1987)

"Dirty Dozen" Hongkong-style

[8/10 · 20 April 1999]

A bunch of chinese-american prisoners is sent to Vietnam after the war has ended to destroy an ammo depot deep in the vietnamese jungle. Intended just as camouflage for the real commando mission they soon have to do the job on their own and for most of them it will be their final mission.

This is, by all means, the best of Sammo's directorial efforts (including his collaborations with Jackie Chan). The action-adventure is well-paced, well acted (even if Haing S. Ngor's acting is a bit campy) and has all trademark-action scenes we are meanwhile used to see from John Woo - and with a nice touch of Sammo's kind of humour. The final showdown in the subterranean missile depot is a must-see, alone for the great set design (but the fight scenes are terrific, too).

All Monsters Attack (1969)

Yikes! Gimme a break!

[1/10 · 20 April 1999]

Even if you watched all other Godzilla movies - be sure to miss this one!

As long-time fans of the Big One we all are quite used to silly plotwork, but this one sure beats all competition. As nearly all interesting scenes are stock footage out of "Godzilla vs. Ebirah" and "Son of Godzilla" you are guaranteed to have a better time with either one of these. Campy acting combined with special FX which are poor even by series standard - and not even unintentionally funny (and this means something), any other entry in the series is lightyears ahead of this one. Above all this is directed by the great Inoshiro Honda himself - I think he did regret it...

To be avoided at all costs...