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Bryan H
Reviews
The Haunting (1999)
A Typical Hollywood Summer Movie
The Haunting (*1/2 out of ****) Well, that's strike two for Jan De Bont. I swear if they ever give Kevin Costner or this guy another movie camera, I am gonna be sick. Well, after "Speed 2: Cruise Control", De Bont could have really used a push, but, unfortunately, this film pulls him back even farther. This awful remake of the 1963 Robert Wise classic stars Liam Neeson as a doctor who lures three "ordinary" people to an old, allegedly haunted mansion to use them as guinea pigs on a test to see how humans react to supernatural experiences. Well, it turns out the house is really haunted by the owner...blah blah blah...yada yada yada. I think you can fill in the rest, because we've seen it all before (only done better). Unlike the original, this one relies solely on special effects rather than its actors. Just like an old comedian's sidekick that sets up the jokes for his partner, it seems like the characters are just there to set up the house's special effects. Anyway, to save you seven dollars, the movie is two hours of excruciatingly loud door-slamming. There, now you don't have to go see it. You're one of the lucky ones.-Bryan A. Hicks
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
A Mesmerizing Masterpiece
Eyes Wide Shut (***1/2 out of ****) If you're looking for a movie to haunt you, steer clear of "The Haunting". Instead, go see "Eyes Wide Shut". This, in my opinion, is Kubrick's best film. I still can't get some of those images out of my head. I am not going to reveal too much about the film, except that the cast is excellent, as is Kubrick's direction. What a way to end his wonderful and unusual film career. I must warn that the film is definitely not for all tastes, and moves at such a leisurely pace that the running time is two hours and forty-five minutes. (The characters, especially Kidman, deliver their dialogue in small doses every few seconds. There's such a space between her words, you wonder whether or not she is going to finish.) I must also warn that the film barely escaped an NC-17 rating, so this film is certainly not for children. But it is, without a doubt, something to see.-Bryan A. Hicks
From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
Either You'll Love It Or You Won't.
People, it's not Oscar-worthy material here, but you knew that, didn't you? I must say that I enjoyed this film. The reason why: Because I didn't take it serious. I just laid back and let the movie sweep me up. That's the key to enjoying this film. You MUST NOT take it seriously. I must say that you'll either love this film or hate it. There is no between. If you're one that's not easily offended and enjoy action and horror films, then this is the movie for you. But the graphic language and graphic violence may be too much for some viewers. What Tarantino has done is pay homage to the classic Italian horror films of the '70s and '80s. And he has done a very nice job of it.
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
An Homage To Romero, Not A Rip-Off Of Him.
I must say this is my favorite horror/comedy ever made. The film manages to scare and make me laugh but without taking itself too seriously. It really looks like these guys were having a hoot making it, and that makes me like it even more. Miguel A. Nunez's performance as the punk Spider is absolutely hilarious. I'm not sure if it's the dialogue or the way he delivers it, but it is hysterical. The whole cast is perfect for their roles.
This film was not meant to be a rip-off of Romero's "Dead" trilogy, but an homage. It's a spoof and it is almost perfect. It really delivers the goods. I give it ***1/2 out of ****.
Offerings (1989)
An Obvious "Halloween" Rip-off
This movie was awful. It deserves to be in the bottom 100 here at imdb. As I said in the summary, the film is an obvious rip-off of John Carpenter's classic slasher movie, Halloween (1978). It should be very obvious to anyone who has seen the latter. But, you should definitely see the movie. It's not good at all as a horror, but if you watch it for the bad acting and (original) plot-twists (for example, the killer takes the time to lace the unknowing teenagers' pizza with human flesh.) I laughed all the way through this movie. I can't believe the guys at Mystery Science Theatre 3000 missed this one.
Dark Age (1987)
An Australian 'JAWS'
This film was made in Australia and is very hard to find in America, but it is worth watching at least once if you can find it. Basically, it's just an Australian 'JAWS', except that instead of a shark, it's a giant crocodile. The ending is also something to see, because they don't just blow away this magnificent creature as they have in other films of this nature. I won't give away the ending, but it is very interesting. I give it 7.5 out of 10.