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Reviews
Lost Souls (2000)
Utterly and profoundly odd
The theatrical trailer for "Lost Souls" left me foaming at the mouth. It gave the impression that the film would be a special FX extravaganza comparable only to "The Exorcist". Hell's bells, was I ever mislead! More "End of Days" than "Exorcist", "Souls" was so unbelievably odd that I couldn't decipher whether my feelings for it were positive or negative. My decision: an apprehensive positive. Ben Chaplin failed to act his way out of the proverbial wet paper bag, but Winona Ryder's performance was very strong, even if she did resemble a frazzled crack addict in withdrawal. The movie's Apocalyptic premise was far superior to that of its contemporaries, such as the largely disappointing "End of Days", the religiously misrepresentative "Stigmata", or the right-down dreadful "Bless the Child" (how Oscar-calibur Basinger got tangled up in that dreck is and always will be beyond me). The cinematography was beautiful, and the special effects were quite impressive. Really, my only complaint about the movie is that it doesn't lead up to anything at all. The movie's climax, or should I say ANTIclimax, was nothing more than an easy way out for the screenwriter and will surely leave viewers displeased. Over all, "Lost Souls" is very entertaining, but only for those who appreciate or are tolerable of the bizarre and unusual. For everyone else...you may want to see "Bring It On" instead. lol
The Audrey Hepburn Story (2000)
Hewitt is perfect in a great movie
Despite the controversy over Jennifer Love Hewitt's portraying Audrey Hepburn, I think it would have been impossible to have chosen an actress who would've done better than she did in this film. Her accent and attitude were perfect; she WAS Audrey Hepburn, head to toe. I really enjoyed the movie itself, also. The ups and downs of her life made for a very interesting film (oscar worthy, compared to most made-for-television movies). I'm sure the skeptics who thought that this was going to be a disaster are feeling PRETTY stupid right about now.....
Cruel Intentions (1999)
A big step up from "Simply Irresistible"!!
"My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible." I couldn't have put it better myself! This is of course the quote that, in the previews, makes this movie look pretty vile. After having seen it yesterday, I can tell you that it's nothing of the sort. Even though it is pretty trashy, vile it ain't. The characters, which consist of a player, a grade-a b*tch, a giggly ditz, and a noble virgin, with their potty-mouths and skin-tight clothes, make this movie a true triumph. Even though about sex, this movie has a real air of sophistication to it. As you watch Sarah Michelle Gellar grab her breasts in a fit of seduction, you'll be thinking, "My, she sure has come a long way from "Very Resistible".....or was it "Simply Irresistible"? It was so bad, I can't remember!" This movie certainly stands out. A-
Halloween II (1981)
Kinda' silly, but enjoyable.
This movie can't hold a candle to the original, but it's still an enjoyable film. The body count as well as the blood and gore was unbelievable! In the first, only 3 or 4 people got killed. I'd say a good 10 people (if not more) died in this one. One thing that gave me a serious problem was the way that the setting was handled. It took place in a hospital....that had possibly 9 employees! I know that this was a rural area, but give me a break. After all the employees are dead (HA!) there is a chase scene, and Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Pleasence blow up the hospital in an attempt to kill Michael Myers. What became of all the other patients? I find it hard to believe that Curtis was the only patient in the entire hospital! Despite all of these goofs, it was a pretty worthy sequel. B+
54 (1998)
"boogie nights" revisited
After having rented "Boogie Nights" and hating every painfully trashy minute of it, my expectations for the similar "54" were not high. I am fascinated with the decade of the 70's and this movie portrayed it beautifully, much to my surprise. Drugs, some pretty raunchy sex, and kickin' music really create the vintage feeling. Salma Hayek absolutely stole the show as the fame-seeking coat-girl Anita, and Mike Myers was also very believable as 54 owner Steve Rubell. Even though Ryan Phillippe could've been better, his wrong-turns are forgotten as Neve Campbell stinks up the screen. Her performance as the soap-opera actress made me feel severely violated. Even though I am a big fan of hers, I seriously think that she should stick to what she's good at: portraying disturbingly neurotic people who scream a lot. Even though Campbell's acting was nastier than Paula Cole's armpit hair, this is an overall great movie. B+
The Avengers (1998)
not as bad as you may think
Granted, this movie doesn't hold a candle to the other works of its stars (f.e. "Pulp Fiction", "English Patient", and basically any James Bond movie before Roger Moore soured them.) This movie does, however, have some incredible special effects. The story line is thin and very far-fetched, but you can tell that much from the previews, so if you go to see it expecting something else, it's your own fault. I was very disappointed to see that Uma Thurman only wore that black catsuit for the last 15 minutes of the movie, but life's a b*tch, isn't it? It is overall very cute; I think that Fiennes and Thurman gave very interesting performances. They could've accomplished a lot more, though, if they hadn't stopped for tea every 10 minutes. B-
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
if only "halloween 3-6" had never existed!
I actually think I preferred "Halloween H20" over the original 1978 masterpiece. This movie (thank God) brings Jamie Lee Curtis's character, Laurie Strode, back for a killer family reunion with that William Shatner-masked maniac we all know and love--Michael Myers. Only this time around Laurie is going by an assumed name, is a slutty alcoholic, and is fighting for her son's life as well as her own. I absolutely loved this movie. It was one of my favorites of '98. What really surprised me was the fact that Curtis is forty....FORTY!!! She screams, runs, jumps, dives, and downs vodka like a 20-year-old!! She ain't bad with that axe she carries around, either. If you liked the original, you'll like "H20". I personally thought it was great. This sequel is to die for (no pun intended). A+
Halloween (1978)
absolutely spine-tingling!
Who would've thought that a movie made for less than $300,000 dollars could amount to anything. Yet "Halloween" did much more than that; it cultivated modern horror. Even though it was made in 1978, it much resembles the thrillers of the 90s (f.e. "Scream", "Urban Legend", "I Know"), which is why I say "modern". There aren't a great many people worldwide who haven't seen this movie, which is a major accomplishment. It also features a very young, busty, BLONDE Jamie Lee Curtis, whose acting went beyond impressive; she truly earned her title "scream queen". The movie itself was enough to scare the living crap out of you. With the erie background music (and that theme song is the bomb!) and scenes such as the one where Curtis has just found the mother-load of dead bodies and the killer emerges from the darkness right behind her, this film will guarantee some serious chills. What always amazed me was that they actually paid Donald Pleasence for his work on these films. His acting was so absurd, I was hoping that Michael Myers would get him and leave Curtis alone. Still, it is a horror masterpiece. Not to be missed. A+
Urban Legend (1998)
extremely underrated
Witty dialogue, a killer on the loose, and a chesty female lead. Sounds oddly familiar doesn't it? Only this time, there's a twist: the killer uses urban legends as a template for the murders. I thought that was a great idea. Unfortunately, that seems to be my opinion and mine alone. Everyone else has said that this movie was a waste of time, and a "Scream" wannabe. Yeah right, and Rosie O'Donnell has an 18" waist! This movie sets its own standards and, as far as quality is concerned, nearly surpasses "Scream". I didn't like it as well as "I Know..." and "I Still Know...", but I still thought it was great. Alicia Witt made a big mistake in doing the television show "Cybill". This is because she is actually a pretty decent actress. I was thoroughly impressed. A-
You've Got Mail (1998)
"you've got" to see "You've Got Mail"
I will be quite honest; I thought that "Sleepless in Seattle" was a horrific piece of sh*t. That's why this movie caught me off guard. "You've Got Mail" is filled with the romance that the typical Hanks/Ryan fluff is missing (f.e. They didn't even kiss in "Sleepless" for God's sake!). It amazes me that after working together on so many projects, Hanks and Ryan can still submit a believable chemistry onto the screen; but boy can they ever! The plot was adorable and the movie itself was a sweet, ironic, whole-hearted romance which finally produced a pairing of Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan that is definitely worth watching. It was probably the second-best movie of the year ("Stepmom" of course was first), providing a little joy for everyone. A+
Spice World (1997)
being stabbed is much more enjoyable!!!
I can't believe I actually confess to seeing "Spiceworld"! I was once a fan of the girls, sadly to say. Then came this wretched and loathesome piece of s**t. It had no plot and was nothing but a publicity stunt for the Spice Girls. It wasn't even a good publicity stunt; they could've guest starred on Lamb Chop and had a better outcome. The thought that I actually paid $4.00 to see this undescribable crapfest makes me want to sit down and weep! If you are masochistic and enjoy inflicting pain upon yourself, go see "Spice World"; trust me, it hurts. Worst movie ever made. F- (if there were anything lower, this movie would get it)
Disturbing Behavior (1998)
Worth Watching
This film totally strayed from the traditional slasher genre. The very interesting plot (a "Stepford Wives" update using teenagers instead of "wives") was rather impressive. Katie Holmes did very well as the ample-breasted female lead and was really the only character that showed much talent besides Nick Stahl who was amazing. Holmes, however, needs to study the screaming techniques of horror queens Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Jamie Lee Curtis. Her screams would lead you to believe that a 12-year-old lies behind all that make-up and cleavage. This film, unlike "Scream" and "I Know..", was not particularly scary at any one point, but horribly erie throughout. This movie was not bad at all. B+
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)
bitchin' sequel
None of the critics liked this movie, and that really puzzles me. I can't figure out what's not to like. The plot about going to the Bahamas was ingenious. The movie was also packed with well-written, bone-chilling suspense (Hewitt in the tanning bed, Brandy in the greenhouse, etc.) The fact that Jennifer Love Hewitt was in it was a plus, too. I enjoyed this film much more than the overhyped "Scream 2"; Trey Callaway makes Kevin Williamson look like a hack. The original "I Know..." has been one of my favorite horror movies, and I thought that this one was equally as good as the first. This movie is not for the squemish, though. more gore You'll scream at the top of your lungs, and you will more than likely foam at the mouth as Hewitt and Brandy expose their unbelievable cleavage in scant and rain-soaked clothing.
Stepmom (1998)
The year's best film
I am really at a loss of words. This is without a doubt one of the most touching movies I've ever seen. Better than "Terms of Endearment" and "Steel Magnolias", "Stepmom" promises tears (or for guys like me, a slight mist). Julia Roberts is my all-time favorite actress anyway; I would gladly pay the $6.00 to watch a movie in which she did nothing but sit on the floor and eat raisin bran. Then I would sing its praises and probably see it again when it became available at rentals. I will set aside my bias and say that Susan Sarandon deserves the Best Actress nom. because she was undoubtedly amazing, but people could identify more, I think, with Roberts whose performance as the stepmother-to-be was phenomenal. My dear Julia, however, is said to be without a nomination for either category, which makes me mad enough to spit nails; but that's neither here nor there. I wrote this to tell you to go see this excellent tearjerker ASAP, so get off your lazy as* and go see it. You can still catch the 10:15 if you hurry! A+
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
One of the best horror films ever!
People say that "I Know..." tried and failed to surpass the teen-slasher standard set by "Scream". I don't see this at all; this movie was incredible. Many don't think that there were enough thrills; I beg to differ. I jumped out of my seat when the guy leaped for Gellar in the department store; and when she turned around in the alley, only to find him standing behind her: beautiful work!! Gellar's hair and Hewitt's car trunk also gave an overwhelming sense of erieness. But that was nothing compared to the make-me-s***-my-pants ending with Hewitt in the shower room; I literally dropped my popcorn in shock. But what most people didn't understand was that most of the scares were in the idea that the whole thing could happen to anyone. They were ordinary kids and one mistake haunted them to the grave. The characters were extremely well developed, the plot was wonderful, and every member of the cast, especially Hewitt, gave a brilliant performance. A+