NChri Reviews

Man on the Moon (1999)

Breathtakingly dull

[9 November 1999]

After a brilliant opening sequence, the film lapses into TV movie-of-the-week mode, offering a paint-by-numbers script that does little to delve into what made Kaufman tick (his motivations for some of his more outlandish behavior go completely unexplained). It also didn't do a very thorough job of explaining his celebrity--his standup routines seem lame and stilted, leaving many people in at least my screening audience to wonder what ever made him popular in the first place. His club audiences in the movie, however, roar with atrociously exaggerated delight over every little facial nuance of his. It just doesn't work.

Furthermore, the movie lacked any real visual flair, which was a real surprise coming from a talent like Forman. While Carrey did an admirable job of capturing Kaufman's mannerisms, trust me when I say you've seen this schmaltz before on NBC and CBS. Pointless flashbacks. Rote relationship conflicts. "I'm an underappreciated genius." Ugh. The final frames of the film leave the audience wondering what this guy EVER did to warrant being labeled a "comedian," outside of a somewhat memorable (though minor) character on "Taxi".

The Thin Red Line (1998)

Self-indulgent vanity project

[15 June 1999]

I have no quibbles about the cinematography in this film--certainly one of the most beautiful, striking collection of images I have ever seen in a theater. Unfortunately, this art gallery tries to be a movie, and the audience is left to puzzle over "profound" (I can't emphasize those quotes enough) thoughts of grunts who probably wanted nothing more than to go home. But no, we get tedious voice overs where uneducated soldiers think things like "I will wait for you across the dark waters, yadda, yadda, yadda, etc., etc." There is nothing to "understand" or "get" about this film. The characters are flat, the story rambles and rambles and rambles and rambles and yet manages to go nowhere for the last hour, the cameos are distracting and unnecessary, but hey, the cinematography was great. Even still, Malick's shoddy direction managed to make the few action sequences dull and uninvolving.

The Truth About Cats & Dogs (1996)

Just a tad far-fetched

[29 April 1999]

This movie was basically a one-joke gag that was beaten relentlessly into the viewer with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Too many sophomoric sight gags (yes, we're supposed to buy the fact that Janeane Garofalo speaking in a higher-pitched voice sounds just like Uma, thus--once again--fooling the male lead), and never mind what was absolutely the dumbest love scene I have ever had the misfortune to see. Nothing like a little mutual phone sex to warm the heart--I was truly flabbergasted to see the filmmakers actually try to pass off this exercise in, um ..., "self-pleasure" as a stepping stone toward building the relationship between the two leads. Please pass this one by. You'll regret every minute of the time you spend with it.

Kiss of Death (1995)

Pure comedy

[23 April 1999]

David Caruso took the first step toward complete obscurity with his one-note, bland, tough-guy-wannabe performance in this paint-by-numbers crime drama. Nic Cage's performance should not be overlooked either, as he pushes hard to show that his one Oscar was indeed a fluke. Stanley Tucci and Ving Rhames are wasted in a flick that makes "Godzilla" look stylish.

The Godfather Part III (1990)

Did anyone involved see the first two??

[16 April 1999]

Michael Corleone is one of the greatest characters in the history of cinema, but here all we get is a completely over-the-top Al Pacino--his characterization of the aging don simply does not work and it is impossible to believe that this is supposed to be the same person that ruled the mafia with an iron fist in the second film. (And yes, what WAS that haircut? I do not think an aging Italian man in the late 1970s would sport a skater's buzzcut.)

But I did think Andy Garcia was pretty good in what was an embarrassment to two of the best films in history.

Swimming with Sharks (1994)

Well-played, but way too uneven ...

[7/10 · 9 April 1999]

Yes, the performances (especially Spacey's--mesmerizing) were excellent, but the film suffers simply because it does not know what it wants to be. Both halves are well-done, but placed side-by-side it almost seems as though two separate films were hastily meshed together by an overworked film editor. The comedy is far too light to stand aside overly dark torture scenes, although Spacey does a fine job in turning what is essentially a caricature of a tough boss into a multi-level (and very stirring) performance. I do, however, have to agree with some of the posts on this board--Spacey's motivation in the last scenes is indeed very difficult to comprehend.

Hear My Song (1991)

Never finds a spark

[1/10 · 6 April 1999]

Attempts to find a somewhat quirk, offbeat rhythm but fails to establish a tone as the script, camera work, acting and general direction veer off into all different directions. Way too uneven. Simply put: this movie could-a, would-a and should-a, but wasn't.

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

Hit the bricks

[2 April 1999]

A somewhat uneven film, it is still worth the rental price for the five minutes that Alec Baldwin spends on screen. In a blistering performance, a company motivator utterly degrades some hapless salesmen with the most painful dialogue I have ever heard in a movie. Acting is top-notch throughout, as some of the give-and-take between Spacey and Lemmon almost made me squirm. A must-see.

The Daytrippers (1996)

Mind-numbing trash

[2/10 · 23 March 1999]

Ever been stuck in a car with five people you want to smack? If listening to dull, self-absorbed, melodramatic whining is your idea of a perfect low-budget flick, then by all means ... Fast-paced dialogue was no doubt intended to be witty, wry commentary, but unfortunately misses on all marks, as does the shoddy direction of this utterly forgettable movie.

She's So Lovely (1997)

Misfires on all cylinders

[1/10 · 1 February 1999]

Possibly the worst movie I have seen in the past five years. Atrocious acting, a weak script and shoddy production values sink a movie that should have been nipped early in its lifespan. Penn and Wright are completely over-the-top (not in a good way), and punch lines to what are supposed to be comic scenes fall flat time and again. Seriously, don't even see this one on a bet.

Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)

Complete garbage, best forgotten

[19 January 1999]

Seriously lacking in comic timing, humor and anything resembling acting, this is definitely a flick for those who enjoyed Hanks in The 'Burbs. Meg Ryan somehow wrangles a one-note performance out of a script that calls for three roles, and the movie often resorts to cheap, tired sight gags (well, they had to fill 90 minutes SOMEHOW). In fact, Hanks himself even seemed embarrassed to have been associated with this "film," as he and Paul Simon mocked it together on a Saturday Night Live episode two years after this disaster came out.