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kmurphy
Reviews
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
The scariest thing about this film is that they made a profit
This is the worst piece of crap film I've ever seen. The marketing behind it is nothing sheer of brilliance. I can actually see the marketing guys saying, "This is the worst film we've ever seen, what would make us go see it?"
Piles of rocks are not scary. What is scary is how they describe the "missing female" on the official Web site as weighing 129 lbs. She's 129? Maybe 129 tons, but not pounds.
I've seen more entertaining home videos. And I got to see them free! This movie is so bad that I felt like telling everyone in line for the next show that their money would be better spent on seeing the home video I made with my girlfriend. And believe me, that video is *much* scarier than anything in this film.
I was the first person to vote and give this movie a 1. If 0 was an option, I would have given it that, as it clearly does not deserve a 1.
Inspector Gadget (1999)
Go Go Gadget Movie!
When I first heard that there was going to be an Inspector Gadget movie, I cringed. And Matthew Broderick as Inspector Gadget?! The horror!
Then I saw the preview, and I was amazed at the special effects. Better than Star Wars Episode 1 in some places.
The movie itself is really for kids, but the jokes and special effects will endear themselves to adults as well. Broderick does a good job as Gadget, and I was surprised to see Andy Dick in a kids movie.
Braveheart (1995)
Overrated
So, I saw Braveheart. All I have to say is big deal.
Seriously, what happens in this movie? Wallace is wronged, and he goes to war. Fight scenes occur. The King of England is evil (he has to be evil, or the film doesn't work), more fight scenes occur, Wallace gets caught, and yells "Freedom!"
Three hours just to learn that "Freedom" is good? The blood and gore weren't even that great.
That, and the way it was made. Notice how they went into slow motion whenever anything was about to happen? What is that? I don't have to be told something significant is going to happen.
Braveheart didn't steal my heart.