BillZane Reviews

I've Been Waiting for You (1998 TV Movie)

I'm sorry

[3 August 1999]

I'm sorry, but this movie just wasn't all that great. I rented it because it had a shiny cover, it said that it was by the author of I Know What You Did Last Summer, and it starred Soleil Moon Frye. But it just didn't work for me. The little attempts at romance were never fleshed out and should have either been strengthened or edited out. And I understand that the TV aspect lowered the body count drastically, but if they scared one girl to death (hokey hokey hokey), they could have used that excuse to ice another character or two. Instead, they just have some little troll-thingie with a cool looking weapon (4 nails... would have been better as 4 blades) who threatens his victims. Nope. But the acting was better than the average TV movie (worse than the average film, but hey), and some of the humor worked.

Arlington Road (1999)

Brilliant

[10/10 · 27 July 1999]

Before the opening credits ever appear in Arlington Road, this movie has slapped you in the face and given you a stern warning: This movie may not be for you. It will be violent, and it will be senseless, and it will scare you, and if you can't handle this, you can get out now. For those of us who stayed, however, the movie was an incredible experience. For the first 90 minutes, it worked on developing characters. You grieved with the father, and you felt strongly for the poor girlfriend in competition with a ghost for her man's love. You also gain the paranoia of Jeff Bridges, but the direction is so amazing that for twenty, thirty minutes, you think Bridges has gone psycho. The filmmakers leave a million "outs" in this movie - at ANY point before the climax, they could step back and say, "Whoops! Bridges is a quack, and the neighbors are totally normal!" I believed that would happen, even though the previews revealed WAY too much - I won't bring it up in case someone hasn't seen them, but you should NEVER tell the shock ending of a film in the preview. By the time the climax hits, I had actually squeezed out a tear in utter terror. Forget the traditional slasher flicks - Arlington Road is the scariest movie I have ever seen. 10 out of 10

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

Why?

[2/10 · 19 July 1999]

This movie had across-the-board first-rate acting from Alan Cumming and Sidney Pollack to Tom and Nicole. Everyone seemed to be fully involved in who their characters were, and you could tell some time had been spent developing this. But it still turned out to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen! I can give you a plot summary in maybe four steps:

Tom Cruise walks around New York to one of two locations and spends ludicrous amounts of money.

Tom Cruise says he's a doctor.

Tom Cruise thinks of Nicole Kidman.

Repeat if necessary until you have thoroughly wasted 2 1/2 hours of the audience's time.

The soundtrack was just some maniac on a piano banging a note at a time as hard as he could. The only noticeable song, Chris Isaak's "Bad, Bad Thing" was a bit of irony in that his characters never actually DO bad things. They just think about them or watch, and I'm sorry, but that's terribly boring. I will do my best to remember this film for the stellar performances and not the depressing technical failures. 2 out of 10

Your Friends and Neighbors (1998)

A Failure

[2/10 · 1 July 1999]

With some elements of a movie, you just think, "A swing, but a miss." This movie didn't even bother swinging half of the time. The dialogue started out making you think that maybe it could someday be snappy or even entertaining, but after about five minutes, you give up on that. There's one scene in an art house that had such potential to be cute, but after being repeated over and over to darker and darker cynical effect, you just give up on that, too. This movie is bereft of humor entirely, and if not for a good performance by Jason Patric (everyone else mentioned the monologue, but I have to say that it really was great), I would have burned the video, rental place be damned.

Entrapment (1999)

Catherine Zeta-Jones has never been sexier!

[10/10 · 5 May 1999]

I have been disillusioned in the past few years with the gut-wrenching level of stupidity and mindless violence in the most recent "action" movies. "Tomorrow Never Dies" made me get up and walk out, and if I hadn't kept laughing at the sheer lack of quality, I would have left "Knock Off", too. But this movie has renewed my hopes. The stars are brilliantly cast, as Connery honestly delivers a smooth, suave gentleman thief and Zeta-Jones tops her amazing job in "Zorro" with this smart, multi-leveled, and above all, sexy character. The high-tech gadgets are cool, but not distracting like in "Mission:Impossible" and the exotic locales really make the movie flow. The plot is full of intriguing curves (not quite shocking or sudden enough to be twists, but not unenjoyable), especially those involving Catherine Zeta-Jones (Yes, she has nice curves - OUCH!). See this movie.

Go (1999)

a mixed bag

[8/10 · 9 April 1999]

This movie had four stories, so I really wanted to vote four times. The segments with Claire and Ronna were excellent, with strong acting and delightful characters. The Las Vegas story was lacking in character likeability (is that a word), but it had plenty of fun action and humor. The Scott Wolf / Jay Mohr segment had its ups (humor) and downs (James Woods' creepiness) but was still decent. If you're a fan of Polley, Holmes, Olyphant, Meyer, Diggs, Mohr, or Foley, you will enjoy this movie. Otherwise, it's kind of a toss-up.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

10 things I hated about this movie

[4/10 · 1 April 1999]

1. The pathetic, one-dimensional characters, with the exceptions of Bianca, Patrick, and Kat.

2. That the "10 things" sonnet at the end of the movie really had about 14 things.

3. That either Kat's transitions were edited out or she spontaneously bounced from bitch to lovable and back again, giving no reasons at all.

4. That Cameron and Bianca looked too young for high school while Patrick, Kat, the nerdy guy, and the model looked old enough for college.

5. That the school band, consisting of maybe two dozen total members, practiced on the same field as every other athletic team in school AT THE SAME TIME.

6. That they never identified the band "letters to cleo". I'm sorry, they're not popular enough to recognize by SOUND, much less by sight.

7. That Bianca's prom dress was inspired by "I Dream of Jeannie" meeting Clueless.

8. That there was an entire relationship developed with the Shakespearean angle, with the nerd and Kat's friend, for no reason and with no logic.

9. That this much sexual content and foul language was allowed in a PG-13 movie, AND

10. That I really didn't completely hate this movie. While it didn't even have the low level of charm that Shakespeare's original dull play had, the actors were cute and the jokes occasionally funny. Very few of the characters matched their analogues in Taming of the Shrew, but for this movie it didn't matter. While I feel that I wasted my time seeing this, I'm voting it a 4, very high for a movie I didn't even like.

Batman Returns (1992)

Who is this movie about?

[3/10 · 27 March 1999]

I went to this movie to see BATMAN. I also enjoyed seeing Catwoman. The only characters I really didn't like the Penguin and Shreck. Well, in terms of time spent on screen, this movie was about the Penguin and Shreck. The far more interesting Catwoman storyline only received about twenty minutes of time, and Batman himself was seen for maybe ten, fifteen minutes. A Batman-Catwoman movie would have been great, but the addition of the other two villains was just too much.

Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999 Video)

Not bad, but let's stop here, okay?

[9/10 · 26 March 1999]

Okay, first off, this was NOT the original Wishmaster. The effects didn't have that eerie, macabre beauty and fascination, the acting wasn't as credible, and the wish twists weren't as inspired or logical. But in terms of the main ideas, the movie succeeded. First point: be careful what you wish for. Check. Second point: Everyone can find redemption. Check, although chopping off your own finger is a trifle extreme and came out of left field. Third point: Let's scare the crap out of some viewers. CHECK. I actually screamed watching some poor man squeezed through prison bars until his skeleton shot out. Grisly and effective. But this was showing heavy entropy, and I hope another sequel isn't made.

Cruel Intentions (1999)

The Best Movie I Have EVER Seen

[10/10 · 5 March 1999]

This movie was absolutely brilliant. Its devious, manipulative plot combined unbelievably enjoyable sub-stories into an ending you just don't see coming until it hits. The acting is worlds beyond mere genius, and the sets, fashion, and props are absolutely breathtaking. There is something for everyone in this movie - if you like romance, it's there. If you like kink, it's there. If you're gay, there's something for you. If you're lesbian, OH BOY will you enjoy this movie. If you're a fan of any of the phenomenal teen stars in this film, you will go home crying because you can't see this movie again. I know I'm depressed. But there's always tomorrow.

Simply Irresistible (1999)

resist!

[4/10 · 10 February 1999]

The previews made this look horrible, but Sarah Michelle Gellar is always known for being one of the busiest actresses out there. I figured that she wouldn't spend her valuable time on a bad movie, so I went. At points, the movie was so bad that I resorted to slitting my wrists with a thumbnail! Everyone that I know who saw it walked out after thirty minutes, and to be honest, they missed a decent ending, but the awful dialogue and cheesy special effects (You could see the strings pulling the magic crab out of the basket!) made watching this movie a chore. My only saving thought was that Cruel Intentions comes out soon... not soon enough...

Dancer, Texas Pop. 81 (1998)

Small Town Feel

[8/10 · 30 January 1999]

This movie captured the exact feel of a small town - and that can be ambiguous. On the bad side, the dialogue was uninspired and the pace was rather slow, just like spending the week at Grandma's place in East Texas. But on the good side, the characters had heart, if not brains, and there was an overpowering sense of anticipation blanketing the show. You honestly didn't know which kids were going to leave, but more importantly, you didn't know which of them SHOULD leave. This movie has helped me to understand where my parents were coming from, and Vivian's speech on the swing about how 6,000 people is more than enough really hit home.

Good Will Hunting (1997)

the wrong recognition

[2/10 · 1 January 1999]

This movie won a Best Screenplay Oscar. No! This movie had its good points - the acting was incredible, and all of the characters were played believably. But the writing was awful. Robin Williams' character was so pathetically cliched that I personally wanted Will to go psycho and kill him, just so I wouldn't have to watch anymore. And Skylar was no catch, but Will never EVER deserved her. I mean, our first view of this guy has him assaulting a man who never did anything to him. We're supposed to like THIS character? No, mathematical ability is no excuse for this guy's anti-social danger. I fervently believed that Matt Damon was this character, but that doesn't mean it was well written.

Casablanca (1942)

I don't get it

[2/10 · 29 December 1998]

I tried so hard to like this movie. I understand - it's a classic, and anyone who loves movies should swear by this film because it's this and that and the other and it can cure warts and remove cellulite and fix your car... An hour into it, my date and I were so lost that we turned it off. The acting was great, of a caliber we don't see much of in modern movies, but the storyline just didn't sit with me. I had no idea what was going on half the time (the legal aspects, for instance) because I don't have an intimate knowledge of the time period or location, and when I did understand what was happening (the affair), I wasn't sure why this movie had become classic. I mean no offense to the people who love this movie. I just wish I could have loved it, too.

The Faculty (1998)

Williamson does it again

[10/10 · 28 December 1998]

Kevin Williamson has made yet another masterpiece with The Faculty. In the first fifteen minutes, he generates a level of cold sweat and tension to rival the infamous opener to Scream. The excitement never stops from there out. There are scenes where I held my breath in excitement and fear (the exodus to the parking lot, for example), and there are scenes where I could not stop laughing, like when the parents search Elijah Wood's room. Each character is believable and multi-faceted, and the plot twists surprise and impress. Combine this level of writing with an all-star cast and brilliant direction and editing (every single scene was key), and this movie becomes the best sci-fi flick I've ever seen.

54 (1998)

What went wrong?

[4/10 · 13 December 1998]

This movie had the greatest elements - Hot young stars, a dazzling set, and the ability to pull some of the country's most fun disco hits. Instead, the movie turned out bland and downright stomach-turning in sections. The soundtracks, with two volumes out now, have yet to scrape together four songs worth listening to.

Threesome (1994)

odd

[5/10 · 13 December 1998]

Okay, I got into this movie expecting a hot, sexual adventure - I got it, but the sex seemed a little tacked on, especially the titular Threesome. Instead, I found a movie on its way to deep, introspective surmisings on the nature of human relationships. It never really clicked for me, but it was an interesting film.

Choose Me (1984)

the worst movie I've ever seen

[1/10 · 13 December 1998]

There was nothing worth watching in this movie. The set-up was unrealistic, the soundtrack was distracting and annoying, and I still don't understand why they put the interracial menage-a-trois in the bus station. My class at Trinity watched this as an example of how people don't fit society.