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Thor-11
Reviews
Fight Club (1999)
Sixth Sense with adrenaline!
I love this movie so much...I only wish I could recommend it to anyone! Well, I can, but I have to know them pretty well...
Ask yourself some questions...do you get queasy easily? Do films ever leave emotional scars for you? Or are you able to look at blood n guts? If you can take it, see this movie...
Like Edward Norton's character, when you see this movie you're asking someone to punch you as hard as you can, and it can make a profound impact. Some people may not enjoy this...
Our Man Flint (1966)
Really annoying
It's a shame that I didn't like this movie at all, because I'm a huge Bond fan, and I love the Austin Powers movies if for no other reason than for their Bond reference. I watched Our Man Flint because I wanted to understand A.P. even better (I saw Man of Mystery just after seeing all the Connery Bond movies...it's really something).
Anyway, Flint is the most annoying, pretentious, unlikeable character ever. The villains, in contrast, are sort of likeable...they just want to put an end to nuclear armament, or failing that, at least keep the innovative equipment they have, but Flint won't let them do either. Of course I guess that's the whole point, but it's still hard to watch a movie where the main character is such a jerk. He even has a harem! It's really disgusting!
In James Bond's defense, yes, he's got skills. He can be pretentious a lot of the time. But he's fallible, which makes him a good character. He's an alcoholic, and he gives into his own sexual desire way too much. He's got all sorts of problems...his wife even died. He's an interesting character. Flint, however...I mean, I was literally hoping someone would kill him.
One thing that almost makes this movie worth watching: the James Bond character, 0007 I think. He's hilarious. It's not even the character, really, but the book that the girl reads, with 0007's picture on the cover...he has this big goofy smile.
Wild Wild West (1999)
Not nearly as bad as you're led to believe.
This is the movie that made me realize I should stop reading internet reviews of movies. Have you ever noticed that every review on the internet is either "best movie ever" or "so bad I walked out, and I was on an airplane"? It just plain wasn't that bad. I liked it. It was fun. Good opening sequence, neat music (there's another thing: why does everyone hate the Will Smith song?! It's just not that bad!!!), really cool huge spider... And the humor was great! Name me another movie, besides Southpark, which unabashadly mocks racism and disability prejudices. Why does everyone hate this movie? Did they walk into it expecting to hate it? Is this some sort of hate bandwagon?
The bottom line: stop trusting the opinions of people on the internet. (yes, I am aware of the paradox here) Watch the movie and form your own independant opinion, if these extremists haven't already ruined it for you.
Alfred Packer: The Musical (1993)
We have very many teepee!
If you have a chance to see this movie, you really should. It's hilarious. I think I would have to say that I liked it just about as much as the Southpark movie. I laughed way too much at both of these films. I do think the music in Cannibal is funnier than the Southpark music ("Let's Build a Snowman" is my favorite. "We can make it big, or we can make it not so big!"). The opening sequence ("That's not how it happened!"), the Japanese Indians, and the "twist" ending are all extremely memorable.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Yikes!
Say what you will about this movie...for instance, say that watching shaky shots of leaves on the ground gave you that headache right behind your eye...but don't say it wasn't scary. That last image (you know the one I'm talking about) was burned into my brain for 24 hours after the film ended...brrrrr. Anyone who says this movie wasn't scary probably accidentally walked into "Muppets from Space" and only THOUGHT it was Blair Witch. Hmmm...maybe that's not so likely. Either way, see the movie, preferably on the small screen, definitely in the dark!
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Machine gun jubblies? How'd I miss that, baby?
Juvenile yes, but great fun.
Anyway, I'm only writing this to correct some misrepresentation. One of the more recent comments misquotes the "spits or swallows" line, which was actually sort of funny in context:
SWALLOWS: My name is Robin Swallows, maiden name Spitz. POWERS: Well which is it baby, spits or swallows? Hahaha heh...oh...(uncomfortable silence)
See? Austin knew he was being inappropriate. Well, I thought it was funny anyway. Worth seeing just to watch Felicity Shagwell move her hips.
Never Say Never Again (1983)
Better than Thunderball...but still bad.
I would say that this movie is better than the original...but how could it not be? From the opening sequence, complete with goofy jet pack and "She's a man, baby!", to a ridiculous underwater sex scene, Thunderball was really dumb, and a sorry follow-up to Goldfinger. NSNA has its moments...some okay acting, interesting effects, good punches. The opening is alright, although you really do miss the usual formula of spiffy opening sequence followed by title song and nude women with guns. It's part of the franchise, you know? What's James Bond without the John Barry song, and the gun barrel, etc? Not so good, that's what.
Besides, you should never see a movie where the lead winks at you in the end...
Miller's Crossing (1990)
I've only seen it 4 times
Actually, I've watched it so many times because I have to write a paper on it for my film class, but what can I say? I appreciate it more every time. The hat, the liquor, everything. I think the thing I love best about this movie is the music. The title music is beautiful and haunting, and I believe another post here mentioned the Danny Boy scene-- incredible stuff. While it's hard to understand Tom's motivations, I think that's what makes this film so great.
By the way, keep your ears wide open; it's hard to tell because people talk so fast, but there is an explicit homosexual love triangle going on between Dane, Mink, and Bernie. The hell you say! But I can prove it:
Tom says to Caspar, "There's always a wild card where love is involved," referring to Mink and Dane Mink uses a .22 -- a woman's gun Mink says defensively that he and Bernie are "Just, you know, amigos."
Mink is Eddie Dane's "boy." The list goes on and on. Anyway, look out for that. I didn't catch it until my 3rd screening...sigh.
High School (1968)
Accurate and very well made
This is one of the first "cinema verite" documentaries, and it shows that even that documentary form can be opinionated. After you see this film, you'll remember exactly how high school was: oppressive. The film focuses on the idea of faculty always getting its way over students, often unfairly or underhandedly. It's interesting to note that the school faculty loved the film, even though it was meant to show them in a bad light. Artless as they obviously were, they didn't understand the implicit meaning of the film, and focused only on the obvious: that they had power over the students, and could abuse it as they pleased.
Live and Let Die (1973)
Not bad; Roger Moore is the best Bond.
Originally, Sean Connery was my favorite Bond, and Goldfinger was my favorite Bond movie. Then, Pierce Brosnan, being sleeker and more action hero-ish, became my favorite, and The Spy Who Loved Me was my favorite Bond flick. TSWLM is still my favorite, but after seeing L&LD, it's evident to me that Moore is the only Bond. Combining ruthlessness with a sense of emotion, he fleshes out the character in a way Connery never did (you never see Sean lamenting his lost wife!). While still not like the Bond of print, this is the most interesting one in the movies. And the best thing about L&LD, in my opinion, is Solitaire, Jane Seymour's character; her pregognitive powers hinge on her virginity, and with Bond around, you just know that's not going to last...
Misfits of Science: Deep Freeze (Pilot) (1985)
Love those misfits!
Well, there's not much to say about this one, except that it was extremely bad. Also, those actors from this show who are not currently dead can now be seen every week on "Friends." (I'm referring to, of course, Courtney Cox, but also Max Wright, who you know better as lovable Willie from ALF. He works at the coffee hangout in Friends, you know.) In conclusion: pretty bad. But kind of fun. That is all.
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Film for dummies?
The bottom line is, this is not a work of art, in any capacity. I enjoy Spielberg's work most of the time, especially in genres that people generally treat with disrespect, such as sci-fi (Jurassic, ET) and action (Indiana Jones movies), so I'm not some guy trying to put down a successful director. And I'm not anti-patriotic by any means, either. I just don't think it takes a movie with some blood to make me realize that war is bad.
Good art has an implicit meaning, from which you can learn something. This film has an explicit meaning, "war is bad," and all those who go out to see the big famous movie take for granted that it must be good, because it's about America and how war is bad, which is of course a very powerful message that younger people might not understand. It's a sad fact that Americans don't understand art anymore, and the popularity of this trash is proof.
The Fantastic Four (1994)
Doomed...
This was awful. I couldn't watch it all in one sitting, I had to get up and take a short walk...and that's a lot coming from a guy with 1500 comic books, including many FFs...not for a non-hardcore fan.
The Flash: Pilot (1990)
An excellent adaptation
Although it's true that Flash was a more "obscure" hero, that didn't make this show any less amazing. Million-dollar effects and fun characters made it exciting and interesting, and because of this show, I've been reading comic books for ten years. I don't think it mattered that Barry was dead in the comics, or that Flash is less recognizeable than Batman or Superman; he's still an interesting character with really cool superpowers and a nifty costume, and that's why DC characters translate so well into live-action, unlike Marvel characters. Now if only there was a Green Lantern series...
Chasing Amy (1997)
Could have been a good movie, but the ending destroys the entire two hours.
The first hour was an excellent comedy, and I loved the commentary on comic book society, but let's face it: nobody in their right mind would react the way that stupid protagonist did. I mean, you like the guy so much, he's a great guy, and then...he's a complete idiot. He loses his friend, the girl, and the movie. Ugh! The ending of this movie actually angered me quite a bit. Watch it until silent Bob starts talking, and then turn it OFF.
Urban Legend (1998)
You know the story about the really bad movie? It's true!
Think Scream, only not clever, and you've got Urban Legend. This film would love for you to believe that everybody owns a parka, a frail-looking girl can lift an extremely heavy looking man, and the same girl sounds strikingly masculine on the phone. Even the gimmick was pointless; the "urban legend" that a stalker calls from inside the house was used more than once in Scream and Scream 2, and the idea of a murderer going after a babysitter was the entire theme of Holloween. What's worse, the ending is a complete disappointment, because there was absolutely no reason for the movie to have happened in the first place (why stalk the protagonist? why kill all those random people at all?). To sum it up: ugh.
Starship Troopers (1997)
Possibly one of the best films ever made.
I love this movie. It's an unquestionable work of art in a genre associated with trash. That's basically my favorite thing, when an artist takes a medium that generally isn't art and transforms it into something with great meaning. You will never see a better movie at explaining what it was like for World War II era Germans. Look for the following: references to the downfall of a democratic society (just like the Weimar Republic), a Nazi-esque eagle logo before televised propaganda, dehumanization of the enemy (hell, they're bugs), and Doggie Howser, Nazi.