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Reviews
The Next Karate Kid (1994)
Its alright
I first viewed this film shortly after it was put out on video in 1995, I dismissed it offhand, saying that Julie was no Daniel, never really giving it a chance and saying it was horrid.
But here it is, 5 years later, its on Disney and im watching it again. And I'm finding that it isnt as bad as I made it out to be. Miyagi is still Miyagi, just as kool as ever, the musical score is still there pleasant as ever. And Swank's character isnt that bad, her acting is pretty good considering the script. It beats the third installment by a wide margin. So, my original rating of 4 has been raised to 7.
The Beach (2000)
Builds up to nowhere..
So we meet our title character (played by Leonardo Dicaprio) trying to find a real vacation in Asia. I wont go to much into the story, but he finds a map to a supposable "paradise island" with the perfect beach. The story builds up well, as him and his two companions set out for the island.. avoiding a group of thai drug smugglers, and finally reach the beach.
And then well.. then.. nothing. It builds up to nothing. We watch a dull romance sequence between Leo and Francois. Leo goes mad and trapes around the jungle, and then its over.
It was doing okay, but once he got to the beach I get the distinct impression that the writer said "well now what?", and finished the end of the story with filler material. A (I think generous) "6".
One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961)
Great characters and Disney name save this film
It cant be the animation, in my opinion the worstly done of all Disney movies to date. Dialog doesnt match lips at all, at some points people are talking without moving their lips at all. Things look hastily drawn, and the colors are drab and dark.
What really makes this movie special is the characters, Cruella is a great villain. Of course all the cute puppies. Horris and Jasper make great lackies, and all the other rich characters I left out.
When you add in the great score, and of course the all important Disney name, you get a decent well grossing family film. Nothing spectacular, but standard Disney fare. A "7".
The 13th Warrior (1999)
This is a film?
I never dreamed it possible for a film to have less of a plot than "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians", but this mindless flick accomplished it.
You could only like this movie if you enjoy watching gore. Banderas and co fight this bear tribe, then they leave, then they fight them again, then they leave, then they attack a few in their caves, then they leave, then they attack again, then its over, what a complex plot!
I'm astonished I watched the whole thing. This movie does not deserve the high rating of 1 that I gave it, but I had to at least try to bring down that grossly inaccurate rating.
Inspector Gadget (1999)
A great remake of a classic cartoon
If you didnt see the cartoon Inspector Gadget, or arent a kid (or both) you wont appriciate this movie.. and will probably say
it was another annoying slapstick waste of time.
But for those of us who have.. it was perfect! Broderick was a great Gadget.. all the clever phrases were there.. Penny and Brain, even Cheif Quimby.
My only complaints are very minor.. the car.. for one was annoying and Jar Jar Binksesque. And people kept saying wowser.. when the phrase is actually wowsers! but other than that it was great and got my vote as an 8.
Star Trek: Insurrection (1998)
The first good Next Generation movie..
It was bound to happen, and after two miserable attempts, Star Trek: Insurrection delivers. Generations had an interesting story, but was rushed together.. making little sense and ended up being ultimately boring.. and First Contact well.. was a sad attempt to be an action movie in yet ANOTHER borg story. (read my review, I go into great detail as to why it sucks)
But this one takes the best parts of its predecessors.. enough action and FX to satisfy (the shuttlecraft scene), a great story.. and the right mix of humor thrown in. Picard returns from his revenge quest (lame) and becomes the good hearted rational minded captian he always was.
Data has some cliche lines ("lock and load") but performs wonderfully. As does the rest of the cast. This is worthy of the name Star Trek, and is great for repeat viewings.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Who wants to fight droids?
This movie is not on the caliber of my personal favorite "The Empire Strikes Back", but it is a decent way to begin the trilogy. Jar Jar Binks was of course annoying. And I miss storm troopers, I ask you, who wants to fight robots? Just swipe your lightsaber across them. Hohum bordeom. But it could be a whole lot worse. And I had no problem not accepting it as a Star Wars movie right from "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.."
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)
What happened?
"Planet Of The Apes" an awesome, classic movie... "Beneath The Planet Of The Apes" a little slower paced.. but some of the scenes with the mind controlling bomb worshipers are very interesting. "Escape From The Planet Of The Apes" In my opinion the best of the 5, cute, funny, tragic.. excellence.
Then this came along, a mindless, boring movie. I understand the nessecity of this movie to continue the storyline, but this one gets real boring real fast. The Apes revolt from their masters in an elaborate war scene that seems to last forever in a 60's "future" town. This one can be skipped. (Coincidently, The next and last installment "Battle For The Planet Of The Apes" is well worth watching, and I'd recommend it and all the other apes movies over this one)
Batman Forever (1995)
Better than the sequel..
Aside from the real Batman, Adam West. Val Kilmar is my favorite of the three to take the roll, he offers a more believable Batman.. But the story is kind of annoying, and I do agree with the commenter who said this was merely a Jim Carrey vehicle.
Star Trek: First Contact (1996)
*yawn* Another borg story
Some good F/X, but all in all a mundane addition to the previous trek movies. The overdone borg return yet again. It was time to let the borg die long before this film, they were a one time villain and are very poor enemies.
Lets go over the beginning, the flagship of the federation is no where near a battle with the borg (uh, ok) and decide to disobey orders and join the fighting. Picard takes command of the fleet after the convenient death of the admiral in charge.
Worf is brought into the story by piloting the defiant (with no Sisko, Dax or other member of the senior staff with him, how much would it have cost to give them a cameo? again another uh, ok) The fleet destroys the borg ship. (remember when that used to be hard?) Which lauches a second spherical ship that goes back in time. Immediatly the earth changes to a borg infested planet.. the reason the Enterprise wasn't effected by the timeline changes was a "temperal wake" (oh, please) and they must save the future by going into the past.
Of course, what results is a predictable story "slaughter the borg, win the game". With some good effects, and a good subplot concerning data and the borg queen, but just very overdone.
The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! (1989)
When I was a child this was the show to watch
I remember watching this faithfully after school every day, the cheesy dudes who called themselves Mario and Luigi, who used to play really kool cartoons! An 80's classic.
The Karate Kid Part II (1986)
So much better than the first one it'll make your head spin
The only Karate Kid movie that had a story beyond "get the girl, win the tournament and beat'em up" This is the absolute best of the 3. The best acting by far, Danny Kamekona does a powerful job as enemy Sato bent on his revenge against Miyagi.
Brilliantly done with great scenery and a great cast, this is one you can watch over and over.