tmeyer Reviews

Alice and Martin (1998)

Borrrrrrrriiiiiinnnnnggggggg

[3/10 · 7 September 2000]

I'm a big Binoche fan but could not have been more disappointed with this film. There is little or no justification given for the demonization of Martin's father and the flat, bland relationship between Alice & Martin leaves one wondering why they'd stay together in the first place. Sure, Techine wants us to think Martin's father was a harsh on his illegitimate son but there's little or no supporting evidence. Standing in the rain, big deal. Punishing him for pretending to be sick. Ho hum. This reminded me of Bresson's "The Devil, Probably" as I really didn't give a damn about any of the characters or why they were in such supposed anguish. Speaking of anguish, you would think Martin's mother would have felt a little remorse about the consequences of her fateful decision (after all, Martin was happy w/ her and didn't want to go) but she didn't seem care about him anyways. In the end, I didn't either.

Any Given Sunday (1999)

Kick the fieldgoal Johnny U !!!

[1/10 · 27 December 1999]

I just got back from "AGS". After seeing it, I'm convinced that no matter how much it's written how he extensively researched the film, Stone NEVER has watched an NFL game in his life. Great cinematography ? Give me a break. The game montages were almost unviewable and 90% of the other shots in the film were close-ups. Was there ANYTHING in this movie that wasn't brought up in "North Dallas Forty" ?

Aging star player ... check. Young hot shot .... check. Painkillers .... check. Owner who doesn't "get it" .... check. Crazy off-field behavior .... check

Also, it's the playoffs in Dallas (i.e Dec or Jan) in an outdoor stadium, yet people sitting there in tank-tops and shorts ! And what was with those lights ? Were they playing in a Japanese Kabuki theater or a sports stadium ?

And the strategy shown in the game was laughable. It's fourth & 1 inside the "Sharks'" 30. Dallas leads 35-31. KICK THE FRIGGING FIELD GOAL. Not only would this had made sense football-wise, but you'd then have an even better final sequence where they could have scored and had to go for the two-point conversion. Hell, tie the game w/ the extra point and Stone could have made it an even 3 hours with overtime.

Were the lame montages of "old time" football players supposed to be a tribute to the game ? Give me a break.

And the script ... ugh. More cliches than you can shake a stick at .. oops, there's another one.

"Slapshot" was better than this movie. By far.

1/10.

Skips this at all costs.

The Last Days of Disco (1998)

lame script, wooden performances

[1/10 · 9 April 1999]

This has to be one of the worst films I've seen in a long,long time. The contrived, overwrought dialog had me laughing and disgusted at the same time. Chloe Sevigny is so affectless it's like she was hypnotized throughout the whole film. Kate Beckinsale was awful, as was every male character in the film. The one line I did agree with was "Disco sucks!"

Snake Eyes (1998)

Horrible, just horrible

[1/10 · 5 March 1999]

My god, this is one of the worst films I've ever seen. The script and plot are so thin that I was practically laughing the entire way through. How many more cliched lines can a cast spit out ? That scene on the back steps w/ Cage and Gugino went on forever. Wouldn't Sinese have thought to look in the stairwell ? Oh well, that would have been logical. Sinese's makeup artist should never work again as he had some of the largest bags under his eyes that I've ever seen. Who cares about the opening. This movie SUCKS. 1/10.

The English Patient (1996)

Love Story ?

[3/10 · 5 February 1999]

I, like seemingly most American males here, think this film is way overrated. Yes, it had some great cinematography, which looked great on DVD. But, for me, there wasn't one character (well, possibly Juliette Binoche) for whom I had even one lick of emotion. I found there to be absolutely *no* chemistry between Fiennes & KST. Fiennes sleepwalked throught virtually the entire thing. Is 30 seconds of weeping supposed to make up for almost 3 hours of being utterly morose ? Also, the Defoe character was a complete red herring, placed in the movie simply to give Fiennes a reason to explain what happened. Why was it necessary to show him getting is thumbs cut off ? Sure, I'm glad Juergen Prochnow got a paycheck, but he should have been left on the cutting room floor.

Yes, I think I "get" it. The theme of losing things that one loves is pretty obvious, but for me, there are many other great, emotional dramas to see instead of this. Blue (w/ Binoche), Exotica, The Sweet Hereafter, From Here to Eternity, Double Life of Veronique all tower over TEP when it comes to emotional impact. Ugh.