Ashens and the Polybius Heist (2020) Poster

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7/10
Up and down, but even the downs are solid.
drmoose-3702121 November 2020
This film set itself two very difficult goals.

The first - creating a comedy heist movie at all - it succeeds at very well. The characters are neither so competent that they are distant, nor so incompetent that the heist itself is unconvincing; the percieved difficulty of the heist is pitched just right, the characters' failing are understandable and identifable, and it strictly limits the amount of humor that comes from character incompetence. The production quality is also remarkably high, especially for the budget involved.

The second challenge is making a character-driven movie featuring YouTubers, who (regardless of acting ability) have the difficulty of their existing fanbases associating them wholly with their "YouTube mood". Ashens himself comes off best, due to his previous acting experience, his fanbase's knowledge of his previous films, and his dry-comedy theme; but as mentioned elsewhere, Dan Hardcastle clearly suffers from trying to play his YouTube persona "Nerd Cubed" in a way his viewers would expect (they even named his character "The Cube"), which leaves his character reacting to a disasterous development like.. well, a YouTuber reacting to an abrupt Game Over on a Let's Play video, rather than a person who is actually in imminent and increasing danger of going to prison for 20 years.

The difficulties of the second by no means overcome the success of the first, though, and the film works extremely well as a convincing heist with some genuinely hilarious moments.

There are a few down spots, though, in part caused by the film's habit of integrating meta-humour about directorial tropes and film-making at odd moments. This often comes up in the backgrounds or details of the film, sometimes so dramatically that it comes close to being its own CinemaSins reel, but when it gets pushed to the foreground it becomes more awkward. The scene where the villain has to pursue Ashens while both are moving extremely slowly through motion detectors probably sounded hilarious on paper but when actually filmed you realize it's just two people moving really slowly in gaits that don't make sense; it looks like a good chunk of that scene was edited out, for good reason.

By far the cringiest of these points was one which a sign inside the facility is written purely in Greek, entirely so that the (otherwise incompetent) Greek-speaking character accidentally recruited by the team can turn out to be crucial. I suspect this was intended as a parody of this trope in team movies, but with no explanation it comes across as so contrived as to just be a horrible example of that trope rather than a joke about it.

As previously stated, though, the highs and the general quality outweight the lows, and while this film will obviously appeal much more to fans of the YouTubers involved, to nerds, and to fans of Ashens' style of humor (whether or not they have heard of the man himself), it's a fun watch for anyone, especially those with prior experience of heist movies.
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7/10
Worth Watching
t-mclean115 June 2021
This is a good film. The story flows really well and it never gets boring. The only thing I would say is that it doesn't have any genuine laugh out loud moments, although it does maintain a delightful, smirk-inducing level of mild humour throughout.

Ashens and the Polybius Heist is the kind of movie you can watch again and again because it has some great quotable lines. It's a definite improvement over The Quest for the Game Child, which I felt became a little dull at times.
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7/10
Good fun for those who know these guys
thurstanjohnston13 January 2021
Definite improvement over the first film and enjoyable to watch.

Must have been good fun to make and film!
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6/10
Better than the first, though that isn't saying much.
woodgateliam19 November 2020
Once again Ashens graces us with a legit film, featuring more geeky humour than ever before and hoping to dial everything ut to 11 for a knockout sequel.

Fortuneately this film is vastly superior to the first, which was more of an experiment to see if the concept of Stuart Ashen looking for weird put there gaming artifacts would stick. The first, if you remember had some bits that really worked and others that were just cringe inducing, but even so it was recieved well enough for a sequel.

The Polybius Heist already stands on better feet than it's predecessor, the acting has drastically improved across the board (there is an exception I will get to later) and while the overall goal of this film is pretty much the same as the first, the way that goal is written towards is really well done.

Now the acting exception. Daniel Hardcastle is awful in this film, I've no idea how he managed to get into this film, every line he reads is read exactly the same way and similar tone of voice, he cannot do subtlety or even clearly speak.
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1/10
Poor and Unfunny
sultan25522 November 2020
Don't waste your time with this. It's very low budget, incessantly cringeworthy, horrendously poor acting.
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7/10
Fun movie, somewhat of an Ashen hobby-horse, hard to review
cuvtixo-139 December 2020
Getting this movie on YouTube, for just a few quid, knowing it was crowdfunded by a youtuber who reviews old, I mean classic video games and game systems and junk food from around the world was pretty important to my good impression. Comparing this to a Hollywood feature wouldn't be fair. I wouldn't call it "British humor" at all, in the sense it's not the dry, absurdist comedy Brits are known for. Although the setting is obviously England, even the tie-in to Polybius is tenuous- it started as a Seattle urban legend- no evidence of that here ;( Its basically a McGuffin. Definitely turn off your brain and don't worry too much about the plot. It stands up to watching with a lot of distractions and light conversation. Just casually put it on the telly with friends, have a smoke or a couple of pints, if we could do that anymore during COVID. sad face Maybe next year.
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3/10
For fans of the majority of the cast.
luigiguy-5201420 November 2020
I love Daniel Hardcastle and he was great in this movie in my eyes but unfortunately I wasn't familiar with the others and was unable to enjoy my time. However I am sure fans of most of the cast members will find plenty to love as it's very well done.
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8/10
Decent movie with some big plus points
Ralf113824 December 2020
This was certainly a decent movie. A couple of parts did make me physically wince. Co-writer Stuart Ashen referring to himself as "famous". Really? The use of "whatever" twice in the first scene. Just lazy. Was it the same shot used twice too? God I hope not.

It's a good comedy heist. All the pieces are in place and it goes at a good pace.

Stuart Ashen plays a version of himself and can certainly act. I thought he could cultivate a bit more vim though. Benny (Eli Silverman) is good but could tighten up his delivery in places. Kept reminding me of a younger Bill Bailey. Agonist (Stuart Barter) needed a much firmer directional hand. I have a feeling that his Stuggy rep had director Barmania twitten, so he let him spend a lot of time delivering his dialogue to the floor. A shame as he was genuinely funny and on point at times, showing flashes of what can only be described as genius and a rapid, quirky delivery on a par with Jessica Stevenson in Spaced, so it's a pity Barmania didn't encourage greater discipline as it would have paid dividends. Jarred Christmas on the other hand managed to be also slightly famous and across the board excellent. He and lawnmower-woman did beautiful things together. In fact, she (Joanna O'Connor) was excellent too, and reminded me at times of original Leia. Wondered if this was on purpose? My other front runners would be the lovely Vocal (Katia Kvinge) and Yiannis (Yiannis Vassilakis). Kvinge's downtrodden Irish misanthropic misfit was very convincing, with a refreshingly natural delivery and she nailed all but one of her accents. Vassilakis waded through a large amount of ill-judged character material and somehow still came out smelling of roses. Very William Thacker. Dan Hardcastle surprised me by being rather good with excellent comic timing. A couple of times he was slightly undermined by Vassilakis pulling focus a bit at the side of a shot. Oh lord yes, Dan Tomlinson. Well, he got better, but his first few lines! Who let him get away with that? Jeez. I should also mention Jonathan Ashen (Nigel Fairs) who I thought was brilliant, if underused. He could teach Barter a thing or two about focus. Lesson to Barmania, it's not all about the celebs.

Smaller parts I really liked were mattress man, heist bucket man, the weary security guard who had to put up with Jake/Kevin and, naturally, the ever-excellent Robert Llewellyn.

The film looks good, the cinematography is of a high standard, the sound effects are particularly well thought out and it's certainly a bonus to watch with headphones so you can enjoy the extra nuances.
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1/10
Absolute rubbish
matrix-baker26 February 2022
Unfunny skits & cringeworthy dialogues, fed at a slog of a pace. Watch the first film - Quest of the Gamechild (which is a rock-solid 6/10) - and never bother with this utter waste of everybody's time.
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8/10
Funny, engrossing and likeable
TellyEB522 November 2020
First of all, it's rather good. The producers obviously invested in their crew and chose their cast with care, and it shows. Do you need to be an Ashens or Nerdcubed fan already to enjoy the film? I don't think so.

I was relieved to see more of a gender balance than is implied by the poster. The principle women are all excellent and help to lift the film, otherwise it could be conceived as a tad misogynistic.

Overall, the film packs quite a pace. It's funny, engrossing and likeable.

Stuart Ashen himself is a very solid actor - low-key, natural, with a good voice. Dan Hardcastle was top dollar. I also thoroughly enjoyed the OTT villains. Together with Joanna O'Connor, Jarred Christmas knocked my socks off, and their scenes were an absolute delight. I also found Ashens' and Christine's journey a pleasant surprise, providing unexpected emotional depth which came as a welcome contrast to the comedy antics of the Heist team.

There are times when you can see the film-making process has been rushed, a couple of scenes where you feel Barmania must have wished he'd had more time. Others where you can truly appreciate the precision and care taken with set-up and framing. The look of the film costume-wise is unexpectedly stylish.

When you consider the scope of the production, the budget and timescales, you have to give immense credit to Barmania for pulling it all off.

Relentless Films should be very pleased. This is a tremendous start.
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10/10
A Real Blast - not just for nerdy blokes
suedavies-2533213 December 2020
While the synopsis might make this movie seem a bit nerdy and niche market, it reaches parts others can't reach. It is a blast. Lots of laughs and some great characters. Good to see some strong women characters. Loved the oh so stylish jumpers. Has production quality rarely reached in low budget productions.
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8/10
An Excellent Movie
HowlingSnail19 November 2020
I'm someone who backed the crowdfunding campaign for this movie all the way back in 2018, so I'm very glad to have finally been able to see the movie!

I really enjoyed this film. More so than the first Ashens film actually, and I definitely think this one is more friendly to people who aren't familiar with Ashens' Youtube channel. It's not for everyone, but if you like this particular style of humour, you'll definitely have an enjoyable hour and a half.
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10/10
Perfection
mcblayke23 November 2020
Really good, a great comedy nerdy film. If you like Ashens and NerdCubed, you'll probably really enjoy this as I did.
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9/10
A hilarious film with a great great cast and some room for improvements. Amazing for what it is.
jamieturner-0620020 November 2020
Let me preface this by saying I watched this with my partner for a date night. I am a regular watcher of NerdCubed, but do not watch Ashens. My partner has not heard of either youtuber.

The opening 20-30 minutes of the film were a bit slow and choppy feeling, like it was edited and changed quite a bit, but once you got into the 'jist' of it, the movie took off and it was PROPERLY hilarious.

Thinking I was impartial to it, I asked my partner and they loved it as well. If you enjoy dry British comedy, and nerd culture, this is a MUST watch.

There were quite a few points where both of us burst into rolling laughter on the bed. I even imitated a certain "lawn-mower" scene for them later that night as a bit of a cheeky joke.

Overall, WATCH IT. it's 8 bucks, it supports individual creators, and it's a proper laugh.
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8/10
Great Cast for a Great Film
simmonsdude25 November 2020
This film has a plot that keeps you guessing and wondering what's going to happen next. The whole film is enjoyable and the cast do a great job!
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10/10
A Nerdy Delight
masonshelldesign22 November 2020
This movie is a send up to the oceans film, mission impossible, and just about any heist movie. It's a retro comedy thats made for nerds by nerds. Go watch it. It'll put a smile on your face.
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10/10
Joyous, fun, nerdy, wonderful
graydwoods22 November 2020
I absolutely loved every second of this film. Stuart and the team have crafted a perfect heist movie from a modest budget. The story hangs together beautifully, and each member of the cast brings amazing energy to their roles. This is how all films should be made. With love, enthusiasm and a commitment to fun.
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9/10
The best film of the past decade by far.
matt-1082420 November 2020
I don't know if this is intentionally a nod to The Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy or merely heavily influenced by it, but it is spot on. The humour is perfectly pitched for the genre, and the cast members not only perfectly picked for the roles they play, but also to perfectly parody their TFC and associates counterparts.

Ashens is of course the perfect Simon Pegg, a fact unashamedly alluded to in one scene (and a common theme throughout history). Jarred and Nick Frost could almost be twins. Alyssa Kyria is most definitely a manically depressed bipolar Miranda Hart. Even Jessica Hynes finds her analoue in the excellent Joanna O'Connor.

The acting was at times hit and miss - there were a couple of somewhat wooden performances, but that's to be expected from an inexperienced cast. Those times were few and far between though and didn't detract from the enjoyment of the film. On the whole it was very well done and the characters portrayed with just the right amount of hilarity.

The story line was well fleshed out. To take what is essentially just an urban myth and make an entire film out of it of this calibre takes skill. The script writing and production is definitely aimed squarely at the nerdsphere with many many subtle nods to not only Ashen's youtube channel and following (keep your eyes peeled for the van's number plate for example) but geekdom in particular.

One area where I felt the film was let down a little was in the VFX. Maybe it is because it's released in 4K it shows every slight imperfection in all its high resolution clarity, but there were a few times when compositing was used when really it would have been better not used. Maybe it was attempted to do things live and they didn't work out so they had to resort to VFX instead. The most glaring point is the screen of the Polybius cabinet itself. It was glaringly obvious that this was composited after the fact. Not only was the image on the screen far too high resolution and too crystal clear, but the shape was just off. I may be being picky, but it just spoiled the whole effect of the cabinet.

But any film that leaves you with a big grin on your face deserves to be watched again and again and again. If only to try and spot even more subtle references to geekdom.
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9/10
A breath of fresh air
liammullan-5387222 November 2020
I was quite delighted by the film, and just how well it stands on its own merits (regardless if you have prior knowledge of Stuart and his content). For a "Youtuber movie", if you could even call it that, it knocked it out of the park. Great value for money, and would reccomend to anyone interested in light hearted comedy and heist films.
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8/10
A great lower budget film!
portgasdace-8112720 November 2020
A great film to watch if you like Ashens, British Comedy or general dry humour and slapstick!
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8/10
Not a blockbuster, but a really nice movienight movie if you are a fan of British and geeky comedy.
drwho-578624 December 2020
A decent independent movie. The previous Ashens movie was a good effort but you needed to be a fan of cult movies to appreciate it. This one however is really good. Wonderfull British humour and good acting. If you are into British humour and can appriciate the geeky theme then this movie will not dissapoint you.

The cast was well chosen and the story kept you interested. The characters had enough dept and all contributed to the movie. There was only one gag that seemed a bit out of place but I can easily look past that one.
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8/10
Cheese, but the right kind of cheese
a-hackett-499-70307825 December 2020
It helps being a long time fan of Ashens. If you'd stumbled upon this and knew none of the cast, then it'll come across as a light hearted budget comedy. The true magic happens if you are aware of the gang (Stuart, Dan, Barry etc), as then the jokes gain a boost.
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10/10
Super cute, funny and sweet
KMBusheva31 January 2021
I found this super-cute. Actors were very good. I love the main guy, the heist people and the sister romance. It looked also amazing although maybe the lighting a bit hard at times, but I love lighting so I see these things. Most of all it was the best fun all through and the characters felt friendly and sweet. A bit like Friends but with UK style. I hope they do do a series with everyone and a wedding.
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10/10
Fantastic value fun - a cult hit
matt-4985826 November 2020
If you go in expecting budget UK film you'll be impressed. A great laugh with geeky fun whether you watch YouTube or not
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