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Patton Oswalt in Veronica Mars (2004)

Kirby Howell-Baptiste: Nicole Malloy

Losing Streak

Veronica Mars

Kirby Howell-Baptiste credited as playing...

Nicole Malloy

Quotes1

  • Pregnant Woman: Riverwood gives preferential treatment to siblings, so my fetus actually ends up getting Eliza in.
  • Veronica Mars: Yeah? Wow.
  • Nicole Malloy: That's mind boggling. Yeah, I mean it's nothing compared to what happened with Veronica's kids.
  • Veronica Mars: My kids? Yeah, that was insane.
  • Nicole Malloy: Well tell her the story.
  • Veronica Mars: Oh, I've told it so many times.
  • Nicole Malloy: You have to hear it. It's so good though.
  • Veronica Mars: Okay. So I was searching for a preschool for my twins, Hakeem and Olajuwon.
  • Nicole Malloy: Hakeem is a dream, and Olajuwon has the heart of a champion.
  • Veronica Mars: You're very sweet. The preschool that I liked is very gung-ho about diversity. They hear those names, they make certain assumptions.
  • Nicole Malloy: They assume they were black. And African. And Muslim.
  • Veronica Mars: Yeah. But we're not Muslim. And, so on the first day two little blonde boys show up and the school was like "What?". And while I swear I had no intention of gaming the system...
  • Nicole Malloy: She's just a huge fan of 1990s Houston Rockets basketball.
  • Veronica Mars: Mm-hm. But it's a great preschool so I just kept my big trap shut.
  • Pregnant Woman: Excuse me.

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