- Lois Griffin: Now, won't vocational school limit Chris's options down the road?
- Principal Shepherd: Oh, hardly. He'll have a wide range of career options, such as the following...
- [upbeat music starts playing with DISHWASHER INSTALLATION, DISHWASHER REPAIR and FAMILY GUY WRITER showing up on screen]
- Lois Griffin: Those are three terrible options.
- Lois Griffin: I can't take another party with that trio of judgy sitcom moms.
- Brunette Sitcom Mom: Oh hi, Lois. Gosh, I just love how you always look so comfortable.
- Blonde Sitcom Mom: I *know*. Are those pyjamas?
- Black Sitcom Mom: And I'm the black one for unrealistic diversity!
- [first lines]
- Principal Shepherd: Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, thanks for coming in to see me today.
- Lois Griffin: Is this about Chris? We know he's been struggling lately.
- Principal Shepherd: Well, let me put it this way...
- [quickly]
- Principal Shepherd: Parents of a failing student say what?
- Peter Griffin: What?
- Lois Griffin: No, Peter, wait!
- Principal Shepherd: Nope. Too late. He said it. I'm marking it.
- [he goes to a chalkboard where he gives himself a tally mark]
- Principal Shepherd: Didn't get The Wus. They're very smart. Asian. Maybe they didn't understand me, I don't know.
- Solo Grape: You should have sliced us, skinned us, cut us, now you have no air. ha, ha, ha.
- Teacher: All right, settle down, ya yuks. We got a new student, Chris Griffin. So, everybody give him an Ayyyy!
- Students: AYYYY!
- Teacher: Look at that. Your first day and you got all Ayyyys!
- [gets spit and falls to the ground]
- Solo Grape: [singing] Here I lie! On the ground! What of me now? No bowl, no bunch. No stems! But is here where I begin again? Today I begin the life that I've dreamed...!
- Solo Grape: [stop singing] Uh, there's a foot.
- [gets smashed]