- Gordon Ramsay: What's going on here? You're ruining this culinary competition.
- Boris: [dressed like Ramsay] I know, right? Is this a cooking contest or a not-cooking contest?
- [He laughs at his own joke, then clings pleadingly to Ramsay's leg]
- Boris: Teach me!
- Gordon Ramsay: Leave. Me. Alone!
- [He shakes Boris off of his leg. Boris lands on the floor, and then clings to Ramsay's leg again]
- Gordon Ramsay: All right. That's it. You wanna hear what Gordon Ramsay really thinks of you? You've got it. You are... You... are...
- [Boris beams in anticipation]
- Gordon Ramsay: ... Clearly dealing with low self-esteem, which is such a shame, because there's a beautiful person hiding inside everyone waiting to get out. You keep saying you want to be like me. But I want you to be like you.
- [He boops Boris on the nose]
- Gordon Ramsay: Boop.
- [Boris gapes and then bursts into tears]
- Boris: That was so mean!
- [Gordon Ramsay finds that the person powdering his face is not his assistant Janet, but Boris Badenov]
- Gordon Ramsay: You're not Janet! What are you doing in my dressing room?
- [Boris climbs up onto Ramsay's chest, eagerly clutching the front of his shirt]
- Boris: I, I... I know you must be busy, but, uh...
- [He powders Ramsay's face again]
- Boris: Perhaps you could yell at me? Call me some names? You know, "You're a no-good dummy-dum, Boris." "You call that a mustache?" You know, things like that? I want to learn at the master's feet.
- Gordon Ramsay: [trying to pull Boris off of him] Look, I don't know who you are, but you're creeping me out.
- Boris: Okay, not great, but who am I to judge? You're the master.
- Fearless Leader: [from outside the dressing room] Boris!
- Boris: Gotta go. We'll talk later.
- [He boops Ramsay on the nose]
- Boris: Boop.
- [He bolts out the door]
- Gordon Ramsay: What a strange little man.