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Sam Rockwell, Marc Maron, Craig Robinson, Awkwafina, and Anthony Ramos in Les Bad Guys (2022)

Richard Ayoade: Professor Marmalade

Les Bad Guys

Richard Ayoade crédité pour le rôle de...

Professor Marmalade

Photos19

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Citations4

  • Professor Marmalade: Wait!
  • Police Chief Misty Luggins: Uh, beg... beg pardon?
  • Professor Marmalade: Mr. Wolf may be a savage beast. Basically walking garbage. Sorry, I'm making a point.
  • Mr. Wolf: Do what you need to do, pal.
  • Professor Marmalade: But how can we say they're hopeless if they've never been given a chance? What if... what if we tried a little experiment, Diane? As you know, my Gala for Goodness, the "hashtag charity event of the year," is coming up. If I can prove to everyone at that gala that the Bad Guys have changed, will you set them free and give them a clean start?
  • [Crowd Gasps]
  • Police Chief Misty Luggins: What? Professor Marmalade!
  • Mr. Wolf: [Falls on the ground] Ow!
  • Police Chief Misty Luggins: No, no, no, no, no. Do you see what he's doing? He's playing you!
  • Professor Marmalade: But it was my idea.
  • Mr. Wolf: It WAS his idea.
  • Police Chief Misty Luggins: But only because you made him have it! Madam Governor, you can't just let them go.
  • Diane Foxington: Professor, I'm not about to put the safety of the city on the line for an experiment.
  • Mr. Wolf: Excuse me, Madam Governor. I seem to remember that a wise person once said, "Even trash can be recycled into something beautiful."
  • Diane Foxington: [sighs] Ok, I'm game. But only because it's you, Professor.
  • Police Chief Misty Luggins: No!
  • Diane Foxington: We'll hold on to the Dolphin until the gala. Just to remove any unnecessary temptation.
  • Professor Marmalade: Of Course. Good thinking. That's why you're governor.
  • Professor Marmalade: [Hands the Golden Dolphin to Diane] Now that everyone's happy...
  • Police Chief Misty Luggins: Not happy!
  • Professor Marmalade: ...I, Rupert Marmalade the Fourth, will turn the Bad Guys into... the Good Guys!
  • [Crowd gasps]
  • Mr. Wolf: [Tosses handcuffs to Police Chief] I think these belong to you.
  • Police Chief Misty Luggins: Hey!
  • Diane Foxington: Not everyone gets a second chance. Make the most of it, Mr. Poodleton.
  • Mr. Wolf: [Closes door]
  • Professor Marmalade: You're going to have to choose between your friends, and the good life.
  • Mr. Wolf: They're the only friends I've ever had.
  • [Mr. Shark sniggers in schadenfreude]
  • Mr. Snake: Oh, no! No way!
  • Mr. Wolf: Snake.
  • Mr. Snake: [goes to sit with Mr. Shark] Oh, alright, alright...
  • Mr. Shark: This is going to taste extra sweet, 'cause I know how bad you want it
  • [Mr. Snake struggles, clearly reluctant to share the push pop]
  • Mr. Shark: Pop me, please.
  • [opens wide his mouth]
  • Mr. Snake: [struggles even more, quivering and sweating under the superhuman effort he's doing] Nope!
  • [slurps the push pop in one gulp]
  • Mr. Snake: Sucker!
  • Mr. Shark: THAT'S IT!
  • [grabs Mr. Snake]
  • Mr. Shark: I'LL TEACH YOU TO SHARE!
  • [proceeds to swallow Mr. Snake whole, much to everyone's surprise]
  • Mr. Shark: I like sharing, he's yummy.
  • Mr. Snake: [from inside Mr. Shark's stomach] Totally worth it!
  • Professor Marmalade: [understandably petrified] Well, that's terrifying.
  • Piranha: A giant butt!
  • Professor Marmalade: Huh? Uh, it's-- it's not a butt. It's a lamp! In the shape of the Love Crater Meteorite, my greatest-...
  • Piranha: I wonder whose butt it is.
  • Mr. Wolf: Uh...
  • Professor Marmalade: Once again, it's not a butt, thank you. It's a heart. Now, as I was saying...
  • Piranha: Then why does it have cheeks?
  • Mr. Shark: Shut it!
  • Piranha: What? I've never seen a heart with cheeks.
  • Professor Marmalade: It's not a...
  • Piranha: Booty!
  • Professor Marmalade: It's not a butt! Not a butt!
  • Piranha: Does he know what a butt is?

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