The Box

Jake Peralta: Okay. We have a few more questions for you, doctor.

Captain Ray Holt: Doctor. Huh. It's funny when people call dentists "doctor".

Philip Davidson: We are doctors. We do four years of medical school.

Captain Ray Holt: Yeah, but it's called "dental school".

Philip Davidson: But we learn about the entire body.

Captain Ray Holt: But if you had cancer, you wouldn't call a dentist.

Philip Davidson: You know it's actually harder to get into dental school than medical school.

Captain Ray Holt: Well, because there are fewer dental schools. Because most people want to become actual doctors.

Philip Davidson: That's ridiculous. It's not like we're college professors calling ourselves "doctors".

Captain Ray Holt: Not the same thing, my friend.

Philip Davidson: Well, sure it is. When someone has a heart attack on a plane, do they yell out, "Yo, does anybody here have an Art History PhD?"

Captain Ray Holt: A PhD is a doctorate. It's literally describing a doctor.

Jake Peralta: Maybe let's refocus.

Captain Ray Holt: No! The problem here is that medical practitioners have co-opted the word "doctor".

Jake Peralta: Okay, Captain...

Captain Ray Holt: I know we live in a world where anything can mean anything, and nobody even cares about etymolo-!

Captain Ray Holt: Apparently that's a trigger for me.

Jake Peralta: Yeah, apparently.