- Stewie in Peter's body: [someone knocks at the door] Oh, no, it's the fat man's friends! What's the Black one's name?
- Chris in Brian's body: Cleveland.
- Stewie in Peter's body: Right. Cleveland.
- Stewie in Peter's body: Clevelaaaand.
- Cleveland Brown: Peter, you name-rememberin' son of a gun.
- Glenn Quagmire: Come on, we're heading down to The Clam.
- Stewie in Peter's body: Oh... oh... Wish I *could*, Glenn. Sure could go for a pom-tini, but unfortunately I gotta help my son Chris with his homework.
- Cleveland Brown: Well, if you finish early...
- Glenn Quagmire: [dismissively] They've all switched bodies, let's go.
- Peter Griffin: Hey, Chris.
- Chris Griffin: Hey, four-eyes.
- Peter Griffin: [angrily] What did you call me?
- Chris Griffin: Oh, you're deaf, too?
- Brian Griffin: Stewie, this is ridiculous.
- Stewie Griffin: Trust me! What do you have to lose? Literally nothing!
- Brian Griffin: Fine. But just for the record, every device you've ever made have broken at some crucial juncture.
- Stewie Griffin: This one won't.
- Brian Griffin: All right, you talked me into it.
- [last lines]
- Lois Griffin: [referring to the sex therapy] You didn't listen to a word Dr. Johan said, did you?
- Brian in Peter's body: No, I did it not. I mean, hahahaha... the movie Road House.
- Brandy: Brian, before you go, there's something I want to tell you.
- Brian Griffin: What? What is it?
- Brandy: The Grand Canyon spans 277 miles.
- Brian Griffin: I'm gonna miss you too, Brandy.