Tomb Invader (2018 TV Movie) User Reviews

It's Asylum people!

[Snootz · 4/10 · 16 March 2018]

Anyone who watches an Asylum film expecting anything more than absolute schlock (the un-funny kind) really has been hiding under a rock for the past 20 years. Tomb Invader doesn't disappoint when it comes to low-budget, poorly-scripted, minimally-produced Asylum footage.

It's surprisingly not the worst of their films. It's almost halfway nearly decent. The script is terrible, but the acting isn't bad (in fact Samantha Bowling does an unexpectedly good job of it). The CGI is awful and the running around endless caverns is ridiculously time-wasting. The jokes fall as flat as a body that's been stone-rolled, and the ending is as un-brilliant as ever. But it's not actually "Asylum" bad... which is unexpectedly not absolutely terrible. It is a waste of time and has no redeeming factors, but it's not dead skunk. Better than most Asylum films, but It's still a "watch when you've got absolutely nothing better to do" brain-veg film.

Far from badass

[TheLittleSongbird · 2/10 · 2 May 2018]

Have made no secret in the past of intensely disliking, and even outright hating a lot, a vast majority of The Asylum's (near-universally maligned for good reason) output, though there is curiosity as to whether they are capable of making something good and compulsive about their output's badness. Admittedly, The Asylum do have a small group of watchable films and the occasional (big emphasis on that word) above average one, unfortunately outweighed by the lacklustre at best and often dreadful films they churn out.

'Tomb Invader' is not one of The Asylum's all time worst, they've definitely done worse that have been more amateurish and insulted the intelligence more. With that being said, even when taking it for what it was, and from watching other films from The Asylum it is abundantly clear it shouldn't be taken seriously, it was a very poorly executed film, compensated only by the lead performances being reasonably competent. 'Tomb Invader' believe it or not is not a blatant rip off of 'Tomb Raider', instead it was made to capitalise on that film's release.

Regardless of what people's stance is on 'Tomb Raider', despite the critical reception being fairly lukewarm, those who hated it will find themselves appreciating it after watching 'Tomb Invader'. 'Tomb Raider' was not a perfect film, far from it, and was not exactly great, but count me in as somebody who found it a quite entertaining watch.

Visually, 'Tomb Invader' looks incredibly cheap even for something made on a low budget. It's very drably and sometimes dizzyingly shot, incoherently edited (bacon-slicer-like) with glaring and unforgivably sloppy continuity errors and even the scenery doesn't make much impression despite being actually the least bad aspect of the film. There are worse special effects in other Asylum films, they still look very cheap though and like they were an afterthought and made in haste. Am aware of the film being low-budget, but there are examples of low-budget films that still don't look awful and manage to be pretty good.

Can remember little about the music, which tended to be intrusive, annoying and out of place. The script makes little sense, sounds awkward constantly and on the wrong side of camp throughout.

There is absolutely nothing thrilling, tense, suspenseful, emotionally investable or fun about the story. The predictability may have been forgivable if the film was actually engaging let alone exciting but it fails to be either throughout. 'Tomb Invader' is basically non-stop dullness, and intelligence-insulting ridiculousness, with unintentional humour because of the excessive cheese, numerous illogical moments, bouts of mawkish drama (couldn't get behind the whole derivative and over-sentimental mother gone missing stuff) and irritating character behaviours that makes one endear to them even less in a film with not one interesting or rootable character.

Although there are worse-acted The Asylum films, the acting generally is not good at all. Actually the leads are not bad, and the reason why 'Tomb Invader' hasn't been rated a 1, particularly Gina Vitori. The supporting cast however all round are shambolic, with lots of over-compensating and an equal amount of sleepwalking, and one of the film's biggest failures. The direction is not worth mentioning, due to being a large part of the film's failure.

Overall, very poor and far from badass. 2/10 Bethany Cox

Actually Quite A Passable Low Budget Effort

[omendata · 4/10 · 6 November 2018]

Not all the acting was poor and for the money they did a nice job with what they had to work with and to be honest it actually beats a lot of the big mega budget movies into a cocked hat like the awful Pacific Rim or the new Keanu Movie Siberia.

So many critics who probably never watched it but saw the Asylum name or watched 5mins and judged.

Its a TV style movie for a wet Sunday afternoon and you will not be disappointed - Asylum movies are all about a little bit of fun and poking the eye of the big blockbusters with their mega money movies and they poked well with this one.

It will make you smile, maybe laugh a little and in this day and age of depressing movie fair that cant be a bad thing!

Its not Lara Croft more Lara Soft but in this case it is what it says on the tin!

"I'm a writer from the paper"

[freqeteq · 1/10 · 15 March 2018]

The heading for this review is an actual line from the movie, it's how a reporter introduces themselves before asking someone for an interview, "I'm a writer from the paper", brilliant, just brilliant.

This movie is from The Asylum and if you haven't heard of The Asylum they make knockoffs of big budget movies using as little money as possible, when Transformers came out they released Transmorphers, when Pacific Rim was released they released Atlantic Rim, and now with the release of Tomb Raider we have Tomb Invader.

All the usual suspects that you'd expect from an Asylum production are present in this movie, a cast of nobodies who can't act, cgi that would have looked bad in the 90's, terrible directing and a lousy script, it's just your typical terribly bad Asylum film.

Of course this was bound to happen...

[paul_haakonsen · 4/10 · 9 June 2018]

Knowing very well that this is another movie by The Asylum, there is immediately a warning bell tinkling at the back of the mind. But still there is a morbid curiosity to watch these movies, despite knowing well enough that it will most likely be a horrible experience.

However, it turned out that "Tomb Invader" was actually not as bad as it could have been, given its company track record. With that said don't get me wrong, because this was definitely not an impressive movie either. The production value of the movie was good, and it was clear that The Asylum had upped their game here. But the storyline was generic and rather uneventful, which made for a prolonged and rather boring movie.

The acting was adequate for a movie such as this, so at least that made the experience all the more smooth to deal with.

The special effects in "Tomb Invader" were not overly great, but served their purposes well enough.

This movie is hardly a movie that you will watch more than once, provided you even get through it the first time.

not lovable, not hateable...

[nylslt · 4/10 · 20 March 2018]

Low budget but has enough 'action' to keep at least one eye open, as per the production company copies a big budget film, so no surprises ie Indiana Jones, Tomb Raider character copies etc... there is enough cheese here to make one giggle throughout. Not to be taken very seriously...

What a joke...

[niceytah · 1/10 · 19 March 2018]

The Asylum should be paying me for wasting my time watching this joke of a movie...

This is the Trump of movies

[the_last_dodo · 5 August 2019]

Oh wow! I demand legal consequences for everybody who was involved in the production of this. They should be put on a blacklist. A lifelong ban from anything remotely resembling a film production. Not even a 10 second instagram clip.

Brilliant Character

[danielbonanca · 2/10 · 19 June 2019]

I gave 2 stars instead of 1 just because of the fat guy.

Choose Wisely

[nogodnomasters · 2/10 · 23 May 2018]

Asylum mock busters are hit and miss. Sometimes they make a good campy disaster film with the same plot of all of their films and other times it was just a very bad effort. This was a sad effort. Is there such a thing as a "fake film?"

In the CG lost city of Lintoy, China, two bad actresses die...killed by the tomb critic. We then jump years later where daughter Alabama Channing, no apologies, (Gina Vitori) is introduced in an Indian Jones type of scene. This woman who looks more like a frail Ally McBeal, beats up a few guys. Her fights are done 80's Claude Van Damme style, fighting one guy at a time while the rest of the bad guys watches. A split would have made the film.

The whole plot was boring. The tomb was clearly a set and it was well lit with background lighting which begs why they were carrying such small flashlights. I was bored to tears.

Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity.

THIS FILM IS GARBAGE

[MinistryofDoom · 1/10 · 17 July 2018]

That's right, it's garbage. I'm going to keep this short and simple. There's no need for a lengthy review. This is film was intentionally made to dupe viewers and cash in on the revival of the legit Tomb Raider franchise. There's no other reason whatsoever for it's existence. Plain and simple: it's a cash grab but even worse: it's a poorly constructed uninspired cash grab with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Skip this crap and go watch the real thing instead.

Campy fun.

[juliamcohen · 8/10 · 6 January 2020]

A playful, lively take on the smash-and-grab archaeology genre, Tomb Invader sends millennial Californian academics to save a cultural artifact from nasty capitalists. It's got nice visuals, apt music score, and a witty script. This is not a documentary. And you don't come to The Asylum for art films. Just saying...

Good.

[teotsantilis2 · 6/10 · 6 August 2018]

The movie was good, the acting of Alabama was great, the scenes are not too expensive, but it is something you can enjoy and I did.

Typical Asylum Schtick.

[paulwhitequinn · 5/10 · 10 January 2021]

Anyone expecting mega budget acting, directing, scripting, special effects etc will be badly let down. I wasn't let down because this has none of the above as I expected. Great tongue in cheek rubbish that let's you switch the brain off and have a giggle.

For those not accustomed to the B-movie/Asylum Films aesthetic, better skip this one.

[aarosedi · 31 May 2018]

An archaeologist, Alabama Channing, continues her mother's quest to find a mythical relic in an ancient Chinese tomb.

For a movie trying to capitalize on the popularity of a recent Hollywood output, Tomb Raider, it can pride itself in having a way more decent-looking profession listed on the lead character's CV, having Gina Vittori playing as Ally, a uni professor as opposed to Alicia Vikander's Lara Croft being a bike courier. But the ethics surrounding the activities of an artifact poacher is topic for a more enlightened film to tackle and thus prevents this one from being such a progressive female role model for girls. And to add to that, being an action flick with a female lead character written and directed by men, don't be surprised with the male-gaze, of the PG-kind.

And, yes, what is a kick-ass chick flick without a male co-star, the sort that's not necessarily a love interest, just an eye-candy for the girls to swoon over. Nathan (Andrew Katers), who is kind of a stand-in for Milo Ventimiglia during his stint as Jess Mariano in the Gilmore Girls if you have managed to down two shots of vodka, that is, and sort of on the sleazy side, the character, that is. He's the drop-dead-gorg guy that's not necessarily action movie material, because to be fair, the script doesn't really call for one that sort that's in the tradition of let's say, pre-Bond stardom Daniel Craig or pre-300 Gerhard Butler in Angelina Jolie's Tom Radier. He actually looks like James Franco to me (with my beer goggles on). That, of course, I don't mean as an insult. The guy is just so cuuuuuuuuuute.

Decent performances from the actors, each and every one of them. The script is not that exciting or humorous but adequate enough to get you through to the end. The same goes for the action sequences, the big-bad creature that Ally gets to fight in the final action sequence who is just as big as Daniel Craig. The film sets, just like everything else, all are keeping with the rep that Asylum films have already established.

So, this film is kind of okay for me, and I can honestly say that because where I came from, I have seen way worse entertainment output, crapola captured on celluloid (using not-so-cheap film stock, mind you) that people have passed off as a freaking blockbuster. That's why for a guy like me it's easy for me to forgive this movie's shortcomings (and I don't call it that, more of B-movie aesthetic). So this movie, I consider, is not on the bottom tier of global cinema. It's only when people start to compare this one to the likes of a finely-crafted Hollywood blockbuster would these movies start to suck big time. A sneer-fest, that would be. So turning that comparison switch off and enjoying it the way it is intended to be, chillax time at home, PG-rated, no swearing, nothing risque, wholesome. If kids were accidentally left to watch this unattended, not much to worry about. Just like a butter knife left lying around the house, a blunt knife that a kid can properly use without much supervision. The hazard only comes once a kid starts to use that blunt object to poke their own eyes or somebody else's, then that when things start to get hairy, blah-blah-blah... (digressing now) so...

...my rating: C-minus.

Waste of time.

[Sixxxx · 1/10 · 25 February 2020]

If these actors was paid more than 1 dollar, then they were overpaid. Don't waste your time with this movie. 0/10.

Twaddle

[graygh · 1/10 · 4 September 2019]

Wooden acting, and poorly researched. Spoiler alert. The heart of the dragon is a sword! A European sword supposedly an ancient Chinese artefact. Absolute nonsense, was this the only $5 prop they could find

CRAPPY MOVIE

[clickmeherealways · 1/10 · 15 March 2018]

I watch this the first 5minutes and it is a waste of time. I rather watch barney and friends than watchin this lol

Alabama Channing and the Temple of Bore

[KingProjector93 · 1/10 · 1 August 2018]

Nearly two decades on and B-move factory The Asylum is still going strong. This time, they cash in on the Tomb Raider reboot with this 'adventure film' about a female archaeologist on the hunt for an ancient Chinese treasure that somehow links back to her dead mother and the future of China itself.

Pitiful is more than descriptive enough of everything here, but then this wouldn't be much of a review if I just stopped there. The acting is uniformally poor all around, with everyone either doing goofball or hardbitten, though Bowling does try as the plucky best friend. The production values, as is the Asylum's calling card, are beyond amateur, with dull SouCal forests... err, I mean ' Asian jungles', stock footage of China aplenty and Playstation 2-worthy CGI for the 'death traps', like a giant spike roll that's SO not like a famous death trap from another adventure film. As a small positive, at least the sound mix was compotent.

The narrative stinks of a first draft, loaded with rambling scenes, bland dialogue and poorly realised characters with little identity. Everything is exposition and, surprise surprise, that means the movie is more interested in tedious talking than treasure hunting or delving into Alabama's connection with her mother and how it shaped her. There's also barely any action or much 'tomb invading' either, aside from the opening and the very end.

Simply put, Tomb Invader is balls. It's sloggish, it's moronic and it's incredibly boring. Everything is so tacky and lazy yet so self-serious that you can't even laugh at it in that quintessential 'so bad it's good' way that is the hallmark of the more enjoyable B and Z movies.

Switch it off

[Leofwine_draca · 3/10 · 8 September 2019]

Another crushing bore of a rip-off from The Asylum, made at speed and on the cheap with no attention to quality or anything approaching it. This one's obviously a spin on TOMB RAIDER, with a lead actress sporting a posh British accent and going on an adventure which mostly consists of characters chatting or arguing in front of a green screen. Any plot elements - and there are few - are mere derivations from those seen in a thousand INDIANA JONES rip-offs. Switch it off.

Not good!

[blackshooter-63065 · 1/10 · 23 April 2020]

1/10 * boring. Too much talking. Very little action. Take an example from Tombraider with Angelina Jolie. The movie line were great.

The cover promises a lot, but the film went completely in the pants.

So bad, so so bad

[enopola · 1/10 · 7 August 2018]

This is pretty seriously probably one of the worse movies I've ever seen. It's like a film student's junior year project. But then that student went on to drive fork lifts because they had no talent. A few of the actors could probably make it in porn but it would be a reach for their range.

The actors recite the script like they are reading it off a sheet of paper leading most scenes to come off like completely inorganic. Every death the actors respond to as a group of sociopaths continuing on with no regards. I assume this is what you get from an ad on Craigslist.

To save you time I'll sum up the plot for you. After some aged lady and her idiot friend watch a poor guy die with a spear to the chest, they turn around completely unphased to only die moments later. Fast forwarding, some sorority girl slam piece takes her fat lesbian and black friends to China (i.e. the local railroad hiking trail). They meet up with a "billionaire" and his Jansport book bag to find the jade key. Along the way they meet the leading man who clearly only acting after a failed bar tending career. Wandering through the woods they find some asian fellows who threaten the trip with better acting skills (possibly due to the fact they don't use english). Eventually they reach the temple and smart smart black guy dies. Fat lesbian takes it hard and shows the only emotional response to death the movie will see. Slam piece find the jade heart. The billionaire then using the power of his Jansport backpack overpower the rest of the group to take the jade heart quickly unleashing some warrior guy. Slam piece and bar tender quickly defeat him then find the Excalibur (apparently props wasn't trying hard). Billionaire then somehow gets lost and then dies in a rock tumble. The rest of the crew makes it out and give the asian fellows Excalibur. The movie then closes on Slam piece teaching what apparently is a community college history class.

Wtf is this

[amazingaaron-87158 · 10/10 · 30 November 2019]

I'm Chinese. This movie is so dumb and so as the scenes. If you want to make a film . Why don't get to know the culture better . Still can't believe this is a 2018 movie.

Not a 10/10... but NOT a 2 either

[alchemical-38692 · 7/10 · 16 March 2018]

It's so very easy to be a critic... and I can see this won't win any awards, but neither will half the shlock u see this year (depending on yr type I guess). I watch movies daily, and this movie was FINE. It's not the budget of the original movie - but it's okay. If u enjoy a decent flick, with a solid amount of action; u will have ZERO issues with this movie.I mean Alien Covenant was pretentious, Bladerunner 2049 was pretentious, TI is NOT in the least pretentious... and I have no issues at all with it. If yr not a movie-nazi, u will enjoy it!!!

:((

[andrijastankovic · 1/10 · 4 December 2018]

I dont know. It felt like somebody tried to copy Apple Iphone X but instead of that they get some cheap copy of Android Phone...