- Alex Dunphy: I don't want to be buried. I'm donating my body to science.
- Hayley Dunphy: Haven't you already?
- Alex Dunphy: I'm putting kettle bells in your coffin. - And make sure my cadaver goes to an Ivy League. I don't want some hungover freshman from Swarthmore getting his hands all over me.
- Hayley Dunphy: Mm. It's not *so* bad.