Happy! (TV Series)

White Sauce? Hot Sauce? (2018)

Christopher Meloni: Nick Sax

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nick Sax : Can you smell that? All the Christmas spirit in the air? You could practically choke on it. But scratch the surface and there you have it, our true selves, people hiding behind their bright, colorful wrappings of bullshit, hoping that it will hide what they really are deep down inside underneath it all... Empty boxes of broken toys.

• Nick Sax : What the hell are you doing here?

  Det. Meredith McCarthy : Working a case.

  Nick Sax : This ain't a homicide!

  Det. Meredith McCarthy : As a favor for a friend! For Amanda.

  Nick Sax : Bullshit! She hates your guts. She'd never come to you.

  Det. Meredith McCarthy : You're right, she does hate my guts, and for all the right reasons. But she loves her daughter. She loves Hailey.

  Nick Sax : Why didn't she come to me?

  Det. Meredith McCarthy : She tried.

• Det. Meredith McCarthy : Let's go, Sax. We can work the case. Together. Just like old times.

  Nick Sax : Well, well, well. You had me right up to "old times". Let's try this again. What's your angle?

  [as he puts his hand around her throat, she presses a a pair of scissors against his gut] 

  Nick Sax : Oh, Mer, so predictable.

  Det. Meredith McCarthy : You gotta go see Blue, Nick.

  Nick Sax : He's really got you by the short and curlies, doesn't he?

• Happy : [finding Very Bad Santa's packing crates]  This was hers. Hailey's.

  Nick Sax : Come on, let's go find her.

• Happy : 6538 Rose Drive. 6536 Rose Drive. Oh, look! 6534, we're almost home!

  Nick Sax : You're almost home. I haven't seen Amanda in ten years. Maybe this is a bad idea.

  Happy : We've been to a place where girls slide up and down poles in their birthday suits, where a teddy bear plays with pee-pees, a restaurant that forgot to cook the fish, and a few other places I'm too shy to even talk about. And you think *this* is a bad idea?

  Nick Sax : Amanda and I didn't exactly leave on... the best of terms.

  Happy : Come on, Nick. You're a super cop who knows the Big Apple better than anybody. She's a super mom who knows Hailey better than anybody. We can't lose!

• Happy : You've kicked in the doors of the baddest baddies in the Big Apple.

  Nick Sax : Quit calling it the Big Apple. You sound like a moron. No one who lives in New York calls it the Big Apple.

  Happy : I'm not from New York, Nick. I'm from Zork, the captial of Cupcake Kingdom.

  Nick Sax : I'm gonna say it again. I hate you.

• Happy : Don't worry, partner. You'll see, she's going to be so happy to see you.

  Nick Sax : [ringing the doorbell]  Hey, Amanda.

  [seeing her stoic stare] 

  Nick Sax : Any more bold predictions, Nostradamus?

• Nick Sax : Try and lend a helping hand, the world wipes its ass with it. She didn't want my help, eh. It's half-off sushi Saturday at a very adequate strip joint not too far from here. I can practically smell the spicy tuna.

  Happy : I guess Amanda was pretty hard on you, but mommies can have bad days, too. Anybody can.

  Happy : [sputtering]  What's the matter with you?

  Happy : What do you...

  Nick Sax : [Happy gasps and covers himself up]  You didn't tell me you shed. Don't shed! I don't like animals that shed!

• Happy : Push it. Push the bell. Come on. Push it, Nick. Push the bell!

  Nick Sax : Give me a minute, will you?

  Happy : Wh... what's the matter, Nick? I've seen this look before. On Hailey's face right before riding the pirate ship at the carnival. Are... are you... scared?

  Nick Sax : God, I hate you.

• Happy : Look, I don't blame you for feeling sad, Nick. If I were you, I'd want to just poof! Disappear! At least for a little while.

  Nick Sax : Then why not forever?

  Happy : Uh, whenever I'm feeling down, I go back to basics. I think of ways to help Hailey. That's why I became an imaginary friend, after all. You know, the best way to forget about your own problems is to do something nice for someone else. That's why Christmas is so awesomesauce, Nick. Everyone full of holiday spirit and goodwill toward their fellow man. That holly, jolly time of year when people can pack up their troubles in an old doggy poop bag, and really be their truest self.

  Nick Sax : Their true self? Really? Is that what you think?

  Happy : Well, yeah.

  Nick Sax : Yeah, good luck with that. I'm out of here.

• Nick Sax : Oh, this city never disappoints.

  Happy : Is a show about to start?

  Nick Sax : Oh, yeah. You just watch. All it takes is a little inconvenience and... then you start to see them.

  Happy : See who?

  Nick Sax : Truest selves. Go on, Tinkerbell. Take a look. Little lap around. See how much humanity you find when the "A" train ain't running on time.

• Nick Sax : Really into Christmas, ain't you?

  Very Bad Santa : Happiest time of the year.

  Francisco Scaramucci : Oh, good. You two have met. We can get right down to tomorrow night's business.

  Nick Sax : Yeah, no. I don't think so.

  Francisco Scaramucci : I beg your pardon?

  Nick Sax : I ain't working with Kris Kringle here. I mean, as a general guideline, I prefer to work alone, but when an obvious total psychopath is involved, uh... no.

  Francisco Scaramucci : Don't be silly, Nick. This is one of my best men. You two are gonna get along like a pair of tits.

• Nick Sax : Well, deck the halls with boughs of holy shit. I knew that asshole looked familiar. That means... Blue. He's been behind it the whole time. BLUE!

  Mikey Scaramucci : Blue?

  Nick Sax : Mikey?

  [Mikey proceeds to nonchalantly masturbate] 

  Nick Sax : Shit's just getting weirder and weirder.

• Nick Sax : All right, you were right, all right? I mean, well, you know, for the most part. I mean, not all people are bad, they're just... so god damned annoying most of the time. So come on. Hap! Happy! Ah, shit. I killed my kid's imaginary friend.

• Happy : Uh, Nick, the train is coming.

  Nick Sax : Yep.

  Happy : Yeah, so why don't you get off the tracks?

  Nick Sax : Nope. I'm gonna teach you a little lesson, my little blue bastard. Something you're never gonna forget. I'm gonna lie down here on these tracks, and I'm gonna let that train run me right over, and I guarantee you not one SOB on that whole platform will lift a finger to help me.

• Happy : All right, Nick. Get up, you win!

  Nick Sax : How's it looking up there?

  Happy : Awful! You made your point!

  Nick Sax : Not quite. Not until I give these walls a new paint job.

  Happy : But Nick, what about Hailey?

  Nick Sax : Hailey. Hailey. Don't you try and put this on me! You were the one with her when she was kidnapped! What have you done?

  Happy : I found you.

  Nick Sax : Yeah, well, how's that working out for you?

  Happy : You're right, Nick. This is your kind of world. Not a world for soft things like me. Like Hailey. You've opened my eyes to a lot of stuff I never wanted to see. But I won't watch you do this. If you want me to go, fine. I'll... I'll disappear.

  Nick Sax : Music to my ears.

• Nick Sax : You know we're gonna look back fondly on this.

  Amanda Hansen : On a complete blank.

  Nick Sax : You're gonna miss it when it's gone.

• Nick Sax : [Before swinging an axe to a goon lying on the floor]  Axe and you shall receive.