Happy! (TV Series)

When Christmas Was Christmas (2017)

Christopher Meloni: Nick Sax

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nick Sax : [Happy imitates a police siren]  I'm the only one who can hear that.

  Happy : Uh, yeah. I'm not sure I follow your point, Nick.

  Nick Sax : You know this shtick of yours? The songs, the corny lines. The zany "oh, shucks" vaudville routine? It's not cute. It's not funny.

  Happy : Hailey thinks I'm cute and funny.

  Nick Sax : Hey, did you ever stop to think maybe she didn't really send you off to find me? Maybe she just wanted to get rid of you.

  Happy : [laughing]  Trying to get rid... that's...

  [his face falls] 

  Happy : Uh... um... that... that is not true. I-I'm an absolutely delightful little ball of funshine.

  Nick Sax : I've known you less than 24 hours, I already wanna kill both of us with fire, just to make it stop.

• Happy : [stuck in traffic, Nick takes a leak in the middle of a bridge]  What are you doing, Nick? Anyone ever tell you about right and wrong?

  Nick Sax : Eh, there's a lot of things nobody ever told me. Then again, I was never much of a listener.

• Det. Meredith McCarthy : [flashback]  Look, I'm not defending the guy.

  Nick Sax : Okay.

  Det. Meredith McCarthy : I'm just saying, this piece of shit's not worth us losing our jobs over.

  Nick Sax : So take a walk, grab a falafel. It won't take you long.

  Det. Meredith McCarthy : You know I can't do that. You're my god damn partner.

  Nick Sax : Three domestic abuse calls in the last week. That guy's beating on that poor girl like Keith Moon at Woodstock and we're supposed to turn the other way? Why? Because he's some rich asshole's lawyer?

  Det. Meredith McCarthy : You know, I think we got our roles reversed here, Sax. You're supposed to be the cynical, jaded vet who plays by the rules, and I'm supposed to be the idealistic young rookie who just can't accept that sometimes the bad guys get away with shit.

  Nick Sax : [with a sarcastic round of applause]  Like I said, Mer, falafel. It's calling your name.

• Nick Sax : Eh, maybe you're right. I could probably go for an attitude adjustment.

  Happy : I don't even know what to say to you right now.

  Nick Sax : Then why don't you tell me where we're going?

  [Happy is confused] 

  Nick Sax : Hailey. Where is she?

  Happy : How the heck should I know? You're the detective.

• Happy : [hearing a police siren]  What, was that bad?

  Nick Sax : Well, it ain't good.

  [driving away] 

  Nick Sax : Eh, in hindsight, I guess we could've picked a less conspicuous ride.

  Happy : I told you we shouldn't have cheated at cards.

  Nick Sax : Well, yeah. That might be the reason why they're after us. Or it could be that we're driving a stolen car, with stolen guns in the trunk, or... it could be the three dead bodies at Le Dic's. Or the however many dead bodies we left back at that hospital. To tell you the truth, all this excitement, I've kind of lost track.

• Happy : [after a car crash]  I don't wanna be mean, but you are really, really bad at driving.

  Nick Sax : Disagree. Look at all the traffic we avoided. We didn't need Google Maps.

• Mrs. Claws : What can I do you for, big and tall?

  Nick Sax : I'm sure you've heard why I'm here. Who we're looking for. Now, you can give it to me hard, or you give it to me easy.

  Mrs. Claws : I'd like to give it to you ten ways from Sunday.

  Nick Sax : I'm not so sure I'd say no to that.

• Nick Sax : I mean, obviously I get it. It's not like I'm a communist, for Christ sakes. I'm just saying, at the end of the day, it's... a thing you poop through. Nothing more, nothing less.

  Delight : Dude, do you mind? I'm trying to work here.

  Nick Sax : I'm not the one who offered up a free lap dance.

  Delight : No, but my boss told me to take you out of the main room because you were spooking the clientele, and now I can see why.

  Nick Sax : Bad for business is my kinda thing.

  Delight : Okay, I don't know what's bringing me down more, your limp dick or your blah, blah, blah. Anyway, you ain't even here for a good time. I heard you asking questions out there. What is this? Some pathetic excuse for an investigation?

  Nick Sax : I'm beginning to wonder the same thing myself.