The Magicians (TV Series)

Be the Penny (2018)

Hale Appleman: Eliot Waugh

Photos 

Quotes 

• Eliot Waugh : Turns out, the key creates illusions of what you most fear. Hence, my dad. I told my father that the guys in the tent didn't know the difference between a tractor and a backhoe. And so he went to set them straight.

  Quentin Coldwater : You saying - you fed your dad to cannibals?

  Eliot Waugh : An illusion of him. But yes. It was very cathartic.

• Fray : We should make a deal with them.

  Eliot Waugh : No. You can't negotiate with cannibals. You can't give them what they want.

  Fray : Well, can't we?

  Eliot Waugh : *No*. You're grounded.

• Eliot Waugh : [Tries to create an illusion with his Key]  Holy moly. What have I done?

  Eliot's Father : Eliot, what the hell are you wearing?

  Eliot Waugh : Hi Dad.

  Fen : This is your father?

  Fray : Hi, Grandpa.

  William 'Penny' Adiyodi : What is with everyone and their daddy issues today?

• Eliot's Father : Dressed like that, everyone's gonna know you haven't worked a day in your life.

  Eliot Waugh : It's just an illusion.

  Eliot's Father : I didn't think you could make a sailor's uniform look gayer.

  Eliot Waugh : It's just an illusion.

  William 'Penny' Adiyodi : My God. Eliot, you might be the only person in the multiverse more fucked than me.

• Eliot Waugh : Gather 'round. Story time with Uncle Eliot. This story is called "Eliot did nothing wrong but was chased by cannibals through the fucking Neitherlands anyway".

  Julia Wicker : Sorry, who's this?

  [Points to Fray] 

  Eliot Waugh : Oh, right, yeah. Meet Fray. Our daughter.

  Quentin Coldwater : I'm sorry, your - - Wait, your daughter?

  Eliot Waugh : Please, hold your questions till the end.

• Fen : We haven't eaten in days.

  Eliot Waugh : Right, um If you had a an extra sandwich or something...?

  William 'Penny' Adiyodi : [Unseen]  No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

  Bodi : Have a seat.

  Eliot Waugh : Oh, thank you.

  William 'Penny' Adiyodi : No, no, no. No, Eliot, don't! They're cannibals! Oh, God.

  Eliot Waugh : [Bodi passes him some meat]  Thank you.

  William 'Penny' Adiyodi : No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, that's... don't eat that. No, don't eat that, please.

  [Eliot takes a bite] 

  William 'Penny' Adiyodi : You're eating a dude!

• Eliot Waugh : So, the cannibals blocked our only point of egress. Naturally, I resolved to use the key, which, in Fillory, created illusions of a terrifying monster.

  Fray : He made his father instead.

  Eliot Waugh : No spoilers.

  [pause] 

  Eliot Waugh : But, yeah. What she said.