- James: What is Happiness? It's a chemical in your brain. And how do you get it in your brain? A little thing I call Drugs.
- Monopoly Opponent: He's in Jail! I'm not giving money to a criminal!
- James: That's not how you... PLAAAAAAAAY!
- Alex Trebeck: What is the most useless class you can take in High School?
- James: Poetry?
- Alex Trebeck: I'm sorry, the answer is ALL OF THEM, THEY'RE ALL USELESS!
- James: A Bad Teacher can not only waste your time and not teach you anything, but also crush your dreams!
- James: I had this French teacher who not only made me hate French, but the entire Country of France.
- James: And there's Mercury in the Energy Efficient Lightbulbs, so if you break one open, it's time to Die.
- James: Don't put your Baby on its side, it might choke on its own vomit! Don't put your Baby on its stomach, it might get SIDS! Put it on its head.
- James: I understand that there are things I don't understand. Like Quantum Physics, or how to make friends.
- James: I have dyslexia because my Mom has dyslexia and says I have all the symptoms. But we never got that diagnosed by a Doctor so, Pfft, you can't make me take my meds, Mom!
- James: [Annoying Customer] And she said "Oh I didn't realise places in Arizona closed so early, blah-blah-blah, we're Vampires!"
- James: I love you Mom! Thanks for not being one of those Moms who's all like "Myeah! No you can't be an Artist, you have to finish College and be a Doctor! Myeah!"
Contribute to this page
Suggest an edit or add missing content
