Happy! (TV Series)

What Smiles Are For (2017)

Patton Oswalt: Happy

Quotes 

• Happy : So, don't take this the wrong way, but looks like someone needs a little...

  [Nick grabs him by the throat] 

  Happy : ...nap!

  Nick Sax : All righty, now I accept you. You're not a hallucination. You're not my subconscious trying to dry rape me for all my past sins. You're real.

  Happy : [rasping]  Imaginary friend.

  Nick Sax : Shh. Listen to me. I once saw a man high on PCP rip off his own testicles in the middle of Times Square. Do you know what I'm trying to say to you?

  [Happy shakes his head] 

  Nick Sax : I'm saying I've seen some crazy shit. So I accept it. You exist. You're here. There's probably a little girl somewhere out there who needs her daddy real god damn bad. And you should go find him. 'Cause I ain't him.

  Happy : You are him, Nick. And she's yours.

  Nick Sax : My god. Those teeth. Those flared nostrils and beady eyes. It's somehow endearing, and yet so, so horrible. How do you even...

  [throwing him away] 

  Nick Sax : ...nah, forget it.

• Happy : Nick, there comes a time when you just gotta face reality.

  Nick Sax : Fuck you! Get the fucking fuck away from me.

• Happy : I can't wait to see the look on his face when you say "Hey, you!"

  [imitating Hailey's kidnapper] 

  Happy : "Who, me?"

  [imtating Nick] 

  Happy : "Yeah, you. That's my kid you got there."

  [imitating kidnapper] 

  Happy : "Says who?"

  [imitating Nick] 

  Happy : "Says me."

  [imitating kidnapper] 

  Happy : "Oh, yeah?"

  [imitating Nick] 

  Happy : "Yeah." And then you give him the old one-two. And he runs away screaming to mommy like a stupid baby.

• Nick Sax : Oh, my goodness.

  Happy : What? What is it?

  Nick Sax : Shh. Do you hear that? It's Hailey.

  Happy : What? What?

  Nick Sax : Yeah!

  Happy : Where?

  Nick Sax : In there! Yeah! A little further! "Happy!" You hear that? A little further.

  [Happy flies into a washing machine, and Nick shuts the door] 

  Nick Sax : I ain't nobody's daddy.

• Le Dic : [Nick is using Happy to cheat at poker]  Some heater you're on, Nicky.

  Nick Sax : Yeah, you know what they say. Even a clock gets a broken face twice a day. That is a thing, right?

  Le Dic : You've never been lucky. Not your whole life. The hell angle you running?

  Nick Sax : Well, if you can promise to keep a secret... I got a little blue horse that's on the top of your hat with wings telling me your hand.

  Happy : Two and a five. Not even the same color. This hand stinks worse than that coat you're wearing, Nick.

• Nick Sax : Get in.

  Happy : I'm not going ever westward, Nick.

  Nick Sax : Neither am I.

  [Happy looks around, his spirits raising] 

  Nick Sax : Come on. Let's go find this kid.

  Happy : [flying into the car]  Yeah! Partners?

  Nick Sax : Don't push it.

• Nick Sax : Welcome back down.

  Happy : Where are we going?

  Nick Sax : This way.

  Happy : Oh. The city's back that way. Hailey's back that way. You, you said we were partners. PB and J. We had a deal.

  Nick Sax : Never shook on it. I'm grabbing pancakes, and then I'm driving ever westward. Stay, go. Entirely up to you.

• Happy : That's all she knows. One picture. And from it, she, she made up a hero. But you're no hero, are you, Nick?

  Nick Sax : What I've been trying to tell you.

  Happy : [taking off his sunglasses]  Look me in the eyes.

  Nick Sax : Oh, come on, man. Put those back on.