- Stella Kidd: What's the worst that could happen?
- Randall McHolland: A question asked by nearly every Darwin Award winner.
- Randall McHolland: [after everyone yelled, "Surprise!" at Cruz for his birthday party] You were surprised, right?
- Joe Cruz: Are you kidding me? I've been so spun-out about this whole Leon thing, I completely forgot it was my birthday. Thank you, guys.
- Randall McHolland: Don't thank us yet, because here's an even bigger surprise. Funny you should mention Leon, because here he is.
- Joe Cruz: What?
- [Leon doesn't appear]
- Randall McHolland: I said, regarding Leon, here he is!
- [Leon still doesn't appear]
- Joe Cruz: Is this supposed to be some sort of joke?
- Randall McHolland: What? No. He's--he's here.
- Joe Cruz: [sarcastically] Right.
- Brian Zvonecek: No, no, he really is.
- Stella Kidd: No, Mouch brought him here.
- Christopher Herrmann: Yeah, and Otis helped him.
- Joe Cruz: Okay, just stop, guys, all right? I don't know what game you're pulling.
- Randall McHolland: I swear, he was just here.
- Joe Cruz: Mouch, what did you do?
- [Mouch just stammers]
- Joe Cruz: Wait, I know what you did.
- Randall McHolland: You do?
- Joe Cruz: Mmm-hmm. Because Leon is right over there!
- [Leon pops up from behind the counter]
- Joe Cruz: Ha ha!
- Randall McHolland: I don't understand.
- Joe Cruz: You can't beat the Cruz brothers. It can't be done.
- Randall McHolland: How long have you known?
- Leon Cruz: Since I was at the firehouse. He told me he figured it out, and we were gonna spin it back on you.
- Randall McHolland: Oh, he did, huh?
- Brian Zvonecek: Ah, and that whole thing about you wanting me to go with you and meet those gang members?
- Joe Cruz: That's what you get for helping Mouch.
- Brian Zvonecek: Oh, thank God.
- Joe Cruz: Seriously, Mouch. This is amazing. I really appreciate it.
- Randall McHolland: Hey, the way you took care of me after my heart attack, I'll never forget that. Least I could do.
- Joe Cruz: Hey, everybody. Buy one get one free all night long!
- Christopher Herrmann: Aw, come on! I saved you from a heart attack!