Global Meltdown (TV Movie 2017) Poster

(2017 TV Movie)

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4/10
Not Terrible, but Still Not Good
robertsmyre25 July 2021
Other reviewers gave this 1 star, but it appears somewhat competently made. It's not as terrible as 1 star, but it's not a good movie. It is, at best, cheesy way to wile away an afternoon stuck inside. Laugh at the mediocre CGI, the corny dialogue, the bad acting, and the massive plot holes, but otherwise revel in the mediocrity of this movie..
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3/10
Puzzling
markleachsa-110 November 2018
What puzzles me is the ambition of the filmakers with this project. I salute the ambition, but I don't understand it.

This is a film about global tectonic shifts. These are massive, continent-sized slabs of solid rock that basically float on the liquid mantle. They move about and when they catch as one rides up over another over centuries, the tension builds up and up and up. So when they release, it's like a rubber band being stretched and then released. That's the idiots guide to earthquakes for you in

Think the movie 2012 with John Cusack. So lots of buildings destroyed, massive tidal waves, huge earthquakes and incredible volcanoes.

So why would you even attempt to portray that on film when all you can afford is a wobbly camera, a couple of flares, and a box of matches. Oh, and a really bad visual effects computer.

This would be a great attempt by a school film club.
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3/10
Watch if you have a strong stomach
hannah-1369623 May 2020
This movie is not for everyone. End if the world-ish & scarey.
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1/10
If only I could give it less!
harley-de1 July 2018
1 star is way to much fir this. I would support a decision by IMDb to introduce a Negative Star Rating.
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1/10
Very BAD.
davidross10585 April 2018
God, this movie SUCKS! Bad FX. Bad acting. Bad everything. Michael Pare had a career in the '80's so I don't know what happened to him. Just avoid this TURD.
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1/10
FX made by a 10y old on his C64, school plays contain better acting as this
marvin-westmaas8 September 2018
This is just utter garbage, the storyline is a rip off, the FX look like they are done by a renderfarm made out off Commodore64's at best and the acting is so bad it made me cringe.

The main 'science' plot is the only part which made it semi interesting. but the character(development) made me long for actual BAD movies. You know, the one's which are bad but fun because they are bad and you can relate to the people have to suffer through 'playing' in them.

This one is actually so bad, that it's beyond having fun to see people suffer. I am not even sure if it's the actors or the director, some frame's were just awfull especially in the beginning with multiple people in the town and that's clearly a directors fault. But the acting is equally awfull most of the times, the other times it's actually worse.
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1/10
good for a laugh
pwhitelaw6124 September 2021
I find all these really bad movies a bit of escapism from all the nonsense that is going on the world with all the COVID . Bit of a giggle .
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1/10
Can't believe I watched this lol
krahnic-4457610 October 2018
This might be the worst movie I have ever watched lol. Terrible graphics, horrible acting. They run into some acid mist, and hide in a cave. Apparently mist is scared of caves and can't go into a gaping hole lol.......the actors can't even cough realistically ahahaha. And for some reason this group seems to be maybe the last people on earth. Set looked like the Walking Dead, cars all over the place lol.
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1/10
Ham-Fisted
nitro7223 January 2019
Ham-fisted disaster-movie-with-a-message yields plenty of (unintentional) laughs from its Video Toaster visual effects, dinner theatre acting, & some of the most forced dialogue I've ever heard delivered by a straight/blank face.
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1/10
Winner of my "One of the Worst Movies of all Time" Award
michaelspohn7 September 2018
Story line? Ridiculous. (Was this the first script that was written by an AI?) Acting? Wooden. (Every elementary school play is better.) F/X? I've seen better videos on YouTube made by hobby film makers!

But if you like a good laugh about a REALLY bad movie, take your favorite OOTWMOAT drink and snack and go for it....

Unless you have something better to do, like see paint dry on the wall or the grass grow in the garden........

I went through the movie in fast forward until I almost had a meltdown myself about how bad this movie is. :-)
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10/10
Authentic disaster cheese
lamb6665 October 2019
What more could one want on a weekday afternoon! Far better than homes under the hammer or the corrie omnibus. Found myself gripping the seat and had a light sweat whilst watching(could of been the out of date tarka dahl i had earlier)
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6/10
Made in Canada eh!
tannas-822-1109096 June 2018
Low budget and IMDb incorrectly lists Mayor Wally but those are minor snafus.

All in all, it's not terrible and is a good watch with a few things aimed to make you think "am I prepared if the SHTF?" And it feeds into the Yellowstone theory of possibilities sooo, why not? Enjoy, talk through it because you can and google through it, cuz ya can as well.

The acting by Leanne Khol is solid and it's nice to see an actresses face actually show emotion these days. Clearly sans Botox but tons of sincerity and emotion make for a good character read.

Obviously this is direct to DVD and had it been the good ol days when you actually went to a DVD store to select a movie and pay for it for the weekend, I wouldn't have been sorry one iota.

Any sci-fi/disaster/end of the world movie gets at least one thumb up and this one definitely gets that and popcorn.

NOT a waste of time considering the conversations that were had after watching this. Truly a great night.
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Omg
jrteichrieb11 September 2018
Might be the worst movie I have every seen. I had to watch it all to believe it could be that bad.
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1/10
Diabolical
oganeil-1840910 September 2018
This is my first review, and may well be my last, but I had to say something about this "movie." Without doubt the worst excuse for a film I have ever seen. Storyline.... garbage. Acting...... non-existent. Direction...... err, I don't believe there was any! That was 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back.
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2/10
But why...?
paul_haakonsen12 September 2018
Right, well from the very moment I picked up this movie, I knew this was most likely going to be one of those abysmal end-of-the-world movies that most movies in the disaster genre turns out to be. Yet, I still decided to watch it, on the off-beat chance that the movie might just actually turn out to be good and entertaining.

That was not to be. This was indeed an abysmal entry to the disaster movie genre. Heck, you might even say that the movie itself was a disaster. Yup, it was that bad.

The storyline was bland, oh so horribly bland. In fact, now three days after I have seen the movie, I can't really recall what the movie was about. But it was bad. And I ended up actually falling asleep twice through the ordeal of sitting through it.

The special effects in "Global Meltdown" were anything but impressive. I have seen worse effects, at least that counts for something. But a disaster movie needs to be crammed with convincing special effects that win you over. "Global Meltdown" did not have that.

As for the acting in the movie. Well, let's just say that it was up to par with what you could expect from a movie such as this. The actors and actresses were strongly inhibited by a horrendous storyline and script.

If you enjoy disaster movies, then stay well clear of "Global Meltdown", because it can't even muster to be a "Localized Meltdown".
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1/10
I just need to add.....
schlagzeugplayer19 January 2021
The disaster just happened houses all abandoned , nobody checks the houses for food, already resorting to humans as food? Two " we're almost out of water" they say in new snowfall....and so this mess continues. The Asylum has made much better films....and that's sad. Poor Michael Pare'.
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3/10
Not a Complete Waste of TIme
bakersfieldjim23 September 2019
OK, I'm not completely certain that it's not a complete waste of time, because I didn't finish it. I see endless one-star reviews here, but I figure that if you're glib enough to get financial backing to make a movie, then somehow manage to have it offered on Amazon Prime, then you get a minimum of three stars.

I'm not a critic, I'm a movie fan.

Three stars it is. Catch it while you can.....On Amazon Prime.
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1/10
48:11 in, I quit.
theethinethou18 May 2021
That's how far I made it into this movie. It really is that bad. Every 1/10 review here is telling the truth. I'm going to go stab my eyes with a rusty pair of scissors now.
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1/10
Animals were harmed, and pretty boring movie
the_doofy12 September 2018
There is no animal disclaimer in the credits, and dead animals are shown in this movie

I guess they could not create enough of a movie with an apocalypse setting, and threw in the proverbial evil stalking antagonist

The movie was made in Alberta Canada
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1/10
Not a survivalist movie
tres_sa2 August 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I don't care about the bad acting. What bothers me is the lack looking for food in the cars houses and communities they pass. No water? How about the snow creeks rivers wells. Very stupid movie. We ate a whole roast pig yesterday. ITS DAY 5! LET'S EAT PEOPLE!!!
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2/10
Very boring
Leofwine_draca16 January 2022
Another end of the world thriller that feels like an indie drama. This one hails from Canada and is bad even by the standards of this genre. Michael Pare leads a cast of people trying to escape when the Earth's crust begins to be destroyed so expect the usual gamut of high melodrama, poor FX and extreme cheese. It's also very boring.
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9/10
Not a bad movie
angelkissto8 March 2019
Not a bad story line. I enjoyed it. You can sure tell it's made in Canada with all the wilderness shots.
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7/10
It beats the pants of any of the Asylum movies
wwaigl9 April 2018
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is much better then the 3.5 rating it has when I write this comment. Its certainly not a blockbuster, but I thought most aspects of the movie were quite well done for the budget. If you are a die hard scifi fan like me, then you likely have sat through lots of real stinkers. This was not one of them. Its clearl a movie on a budget, but its not one of those awful stinkers like Range 15 or Tasmanian Devils, to name a couple that come to mind immediately.

The name actor of the movie Michael Pare plays a character that brings to mind the type of real danger one is likely to encounter in a widespread disaster - a ruthless survivalist. Almost always most scifi movies portray survivalists as a bunch of yahoos or hillbillies. Pare's character is much more realistic - someone who is mean, hard and has no interest in anything but their own survival with everyone else potential prey. I have no idea how he ended up in a local (Alberta) Canadian production but the character he plays is exactly the sort of person you need to be wary of in a disaster situation.

As the movie did not have a big special effects budget it kept most of that pretty grounded. The cinematography and editing were professional, as was the sound.

I have never understood the economics of making a direct to dvd movie in the first place, but i think if your a fan of the disaster genre its worth a watch. Of course it has plotholes and some absurd circumstances, but then its a movie!
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1/10
The is a very bad movie
vincemckenney25 February 2021
I was able to watch up to 20:37 before it was so bad that I gave up. 20 minutes and 37 seconds of my life that I can't have back.
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5/10
Quite brutal for a tv movie
omendata13 November 2018
Ok its a tv movie so was not expecting much but got a lot more than I bargained for.

I wish reviewers would not just trash a movie because its got low budget effects , its a low budget tv movie and it does well with what they had to spend.

Special effects were actually quite well done and its quite a brutal and dark movie which reminds me of Viggo Mortennsen in THE ROAD.

Of course its TV style material so as long as you keep the bar low you should be ok! Murder, cannabalism, disaster and more....Go for it, you might just be surprised.
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