Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV Series)
Orientation: Part 1 (2017)
Clark Gregg: Phil Coulson
Photos
Quotes
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[Mack punches out Virgil]
Phil Coulson : Mack.
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : You okay? What the hell's going on?
Phil Coulson : I was about to find out.
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : Oh, my bad. I see a dirty looking dude hovering over you with a crazy looking gun. I acted on impulse. Where'd that rock send us?
Phil Coulson : Well, I don't have many details, but I do know we're in space.
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : Yeah, that makes sense. That's one thing we haven't done yet.
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Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : It's stupid. Just stupid.
Phil Coulson : All right, I get it.
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : Look, I'm just saying, what good is it having a state-of-the robotic hand if you don't have it on you when your kidnapped by Martians?
Elena 'Yo-Yo' Rodriguez : Looks like he's got both hands to me.
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : Ah, that's his civvy hand. It's just a prosthetic without all the cool doodads. It should've been a hook. At least you can stab things with a hook.
Phil Coulson : Thought I was gonna be arrested.
Elena 'Yo-Yo' Rodriguez : So, wait, that one doesn't have a blowtorch or the laser gun or anything?
Phil Coulson : First of all, I'm not Inspector Gadget. And second of all, the authorities would've confiscated it. Prison's bad enough without being down an appendage.
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : First rule of Boy Scouts is always come prepared.
Jemma Simmons : How were we supposed to be prepared for this, Mack?
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : I don't know, we gotta be prepared for everything, apparently. Look, not a day ago, I was trapped inside a-a computer-generated mind prison, and now... You know what? You know what, Coulson? I'm out. I'm out. We get through this, I am packing it in.
Phil Coulson : Sorry, Mack. You already quit years ago.
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : Yeah, well, I didn't quit hard enough. Look, I'm not comfortable at the pace at which we deal with new trials and tribulations.
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Phil Coulson : We should split up.
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : Aw, hell no. No, no. We are sticking together 100 percent. Haven't you ever seen an Alien movie?
Daisy 'Skye' Johnson : Mack, it's the best way to cover the most ground.
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : Okay, you see, you see, that's exactly what they say before they get picked off one by one, and you know who the first one will be.
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Jemma Simmons : Fury never said anything about deep space outposts being developed, did he?
Phil Coulson : There was nothing like this in his black box.
Elena 'Yo-Yo' Rodriguez : So, wait, S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't have a space division called S.P.E.A.R. or something?
[Couslon nods no]
Elena 'Yo-Yo' Rodriguez : Really? I always thought you guys had people hiding on the moon.
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Phil Coulson : [Tries to wake Virgil after Mack knocked him out] Geez, Mack. How hard did you hit him?
Alphonso 'Mack' Mackenzie : What do you mean? As hard as I possibly could. Look, I don't half-hit people. It's a punch. That's why it's called a punch.
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Phil Coulson : So, then why did the Kree build this place?
Deke Shaw : They didn't build the bunker. Humans did. Why don't you know these things? Even in waste processing, they know the history... You're not from processing, are you?
Phil Coulson : No. I was enjoying a meal, and then I was taken and zapped to this place. I'm from Earth.
Deke Shaw : Yeah, well, that would be the one thing I do know, wing nut. But from where? What area?
Phil Coulson : Manitowoc, Wisconsin.
Deke Shaw : Are you high on something? Can I have some?
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Phil Coulson : [finding a postcard from Ontario] Here we go. Wow. It looks like he's from Earth.
Elena 'Yo-Yo' Rodriguez : Or he ate someone from Earth.