Firemen
- Video
- 2017
- 2h 14m
YOUR RATING
Storyline
Featured review
Disappointing, claustrophobic Gay porn from Ms. Vespoli
With a large cast and the promise of Action genre elements, Dana Vespoli's "Firemen" for Icon Male turns out to be just a chamber sex drama of those Bravest guys humping each other on cheap, claustrophobic sets. Failure to open out the show with exteriors and even token action footage (there isn't any) is a case of bait and switch.
I would have thought an all-male equivalent of straight porn hits like the famous Jenna Jameson show "Flashpoint" would have been in order, but perhaps in these waning days of the Adult industries budgets have been cut to the bone, so to speak. You don't have to be Trump's budget director (zeroing out both Humanities and Arts support) to realize that professional pornography is no longer economically competitive in an environment of streaming freebies.
The four desultory vignettes have good acting but cornball set-ups before the cornholing begins. Nick Capra gives the best performance as an ex-fireman (very lame hook to the title premise) who counsels troubled Kyler Ash (credited as Kyler Grey for no obvious reason) on fulfilling his dreams in life, becoming a musician rather than an accountant. They make older/younger love in front of Nick's piano, and though both the big-dicked sex and acting is good, the inclusion of this material in a movie titled "Firemen" is quite far afield.
A couple of scenes of humping take place in the fire station, but the sets are nondescript and other than some uniforms the show has nothing to do with firefighting whatsoever. Perhaps Icon Male's best actor Rodney Steele is effective paired with superstar Brandon Wilde in a dramatic post-fire scene in which he worms out of the kid that he started the fire on purpose. Rod is predictably forgiving -hump daddy and make it all better.
A very weak setup has Icon regular Billy Santoro servicing young Andy Banks after he finds the kid masturbating. Finale has good old Adam Russo as fire chief humping diminutive fan fave Armond Rizzo despite latter bearing an unattractive fake dyed-red hairdo that might have flown in one of director Dana's innumerable lesbian features for sister label Sweetheart video. This vignette has Rizzo imagining a sexy threesome (guest stars Noah Donovan, Tryp Bates and Calvin Banks bringing longer dicks than usual to the Icon screen) to augment the Russo/Rizzo XXX content.
Of course, wall-to-wall sex being the norm, Vespoli's Canadian backers may be forgiven for not affording her a decent budget to actually approximate the action and camera set-ups of a mainstream B-movie, like used to be done in the Golden Age ('70s) of Adult Cinema. But even Icon Male's many New England-set Nica Noelle romantic dramas have some outdoor scenes, a few of which might have brought "Firemen" out into the open and made it more than just a generic sex show.
I would have thought an all-male equivalent of straight porn hits like the famous Jenna Jameson show "Flashpoint" would have been in order, but perhaps in these waning days of the Adult industries budgets have been cut to the bone, so to speak. You don't have to be Trump's budget director (zeroing out both Humanities and Arts support) to realize that professional pornography is no longer economically competitive in an environment of streaming freebies.
The four desultory vignettes have good acting but cornball set-ups before the cornholing begins. Nick Capra gives the best performance as an ex-fireman (very lame hook to the title premise) who counsels troubled Kyler Ash (credited as Kyler Grey for no obvious reason) on fulfilling his dreams in life, becoming a musician rather than an accountant. They make older/younger love in front of Nick's piano, and though both the big-dicked sex and acting is good, the inclusion of this material in a movie titled "Firemen" is quite far afield.
A couple of scenes of humping take place in the fire station, but the sets are nondescript and other than some uniforms the show has nothing to do with firefighting whatsoever. Perhaps Icon Male's best actor Rodney Steele is effective paired with superstar Brandon Wilde in a dramatic post-fire scene in which he worms out of the kid that he started the fire on purpose. Rod is predictably forgiving -hump daddy and make it all better.
A very weak setup has Icon regular Billy Santoro servicing young Andy Banks after he finds the kid masturbating. Finale has good old Adam Russo as fire chief humping diminutive fan fave Armond Rizzo despite latter bearing an unattractive fake dyed-red hairdo that might have flown in one of director Dana's innumerable lesbian features for sister label Sweetheart video. This vignette has Rizzo imagining a sexy threesome (guest stars Noah Donovan, Tryp Bates and Calvin Banks bringing longer dicks than usual to the Icon screen) to augment the Russo/Rizzo XXX content.
Of course, wall-to-wall sex being the norm, Vespoli's Canadian backers may be forgiven for not affording her a decent budget to actually approximate the action and camera set-ups of a mainstream B-movie, like used to be done in the Golden Age ('70s) of Adult Cinema. But even Icon Male's many New England-set Nica Noelle romantic dramas have some outdoor scenes, a few of which might have brought "Firemen" out into the open and made it more than just a generic sex show.
helpful•10
- lor_
- May 1, 2017
Details
- Runtime2 hours 14 minutes
- Color
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