The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Proton Regeneration (2017)
Kaley Cuoco: Penny Hofstadter
Photos
Quotes
-
Sheldon Cooper : They're going to start making Professor Proton's science show again.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : I thought he passed away.
Howard Wolowitz : He did. He was cremated, and his remains were put in a baking soda volcano.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Don't make jokes. He meant a lot to Sheldon.
Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, me, too. I grew up watching his show. He's one of the reasons I became a scientist.
Penny Hofstadter : Aw. Thought you did it just to get girls.
Leonard Hofstadter : Joke's on you. It worked.
-
Leonard Hofstadter : Who do you think it should be?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, it should be a scientist I respect. You know, someone with a pleasing voice and symmetrical facial features.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Is he talking about himself?
Penny Hofstadter : If he's talking, he's talking about himself.
Sheldon Cooper : I just know how much Professor Proton touched me as a child, and I feel I owe it to him to try and touch as many children as possible.
Leonard Hofstadter : [awkward silence] You should put that on your audition tape.
-
Leonard Hofstadter : Oh, boy.
Penny Hofstadter : What?
Leonard Hofstadter : They cast the new Professor Proton.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Is it Sheldon?
Leonard Hofstadter : Not exactly.
Sheldon Cooper : [from his and Amy's apartment] WHEATON!
Leonard Hofstadter : [turning around back down the stairs] It's Wil Wheaton.
-
Penny Hofstadter : Hi, guys. Wanted to check in and see how you two were doing.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : We're okay.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, hanging out in bed with my wife, thawing out some frozen peas in my pants; living the dream.
[hearing Halley on the baby monitor crying]
Howard Wolowitz : Oh, I'll get her.
Penny Hofstadter : I thought Raj was helping you out.
Howard Wolowitz : No, he had to work. Plus, he has a quota for the amount of Indian servant jokes he can tolerate, and apparently, I filled it.
-
Penny Hofstadter : [Over the baby monitor, after she basically had it out against Howard and Bernadette for not trusting her with their baby, she goes in to address a crying Halley] Hey Halley, oh it's okay. Auntie Penny's here. Shhh. Okay, let's get you changed. Your mommy and daddy say they trust me, but they're both full of the same stuff your diaper is.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Now I feel bad.
Howard Wolowitz : Well, she never really liked me. It's kind of nice she hates you now.
Penny Hofstadter : [Continued, with feeling] Oh, but I'm here for you and would never let anything happen to you because your Auntie Penny loves you so much!
Halley Wolowitz : [Almost whispering] Mama.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [Freezing upon hearing that] Was that her first word?
Halley Wolowitz : [Clearer] Mama!
Penny Hofstadter : [Kind of panicking] No, no baby, I'm not your mama. Your mother is a nice lady that we're going to go see right now so I can rub this in her face.
[Bernadette, during this, has picked up the baby monitor speaker and eventually starts looking at it with anger in her eyes]
Penny Hofstadter : [Intentionally addressing the both of them] You hear that, suckers? She called me "mama"!
-
Bernadette Rostenkowski : [Howard is scarfing down food] Howie, slow down.
Howard Wolowitz : I can't. I'm not allowed to eat for twelve hours before my surgery, and I only got two more minutes.
Leonard Hofstadter : [seeing Raj eating just as fast] What surgery are you having?
Raj Koothrappali : I'm stress eating. My best friend's getting a vasectomy tomorrow.
Penny Hofstadter : And you're sad you won't be able to bear his child?
Sheldon Cooper : [looking at his phone] Oh, my goodness.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : If it's "vasectomy gone wrong" videos, he's seen them all. Including the one of the guy who's sitting on what appears to be a cantaloupe but is not.
Howard Wolowitz : [putting his plate of food down] And I'm done.
-
Sheldon Cooper : [showing Leonard and Penny his audition tape] So, what do you think?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Well, I already told him that I loved it, but if you found it dangerous or confusing or, I don't know, three to four times too long, now is the time to share.
Penny Hofstadter : I... I don't know what to say. Leonard, do you know what to say?
Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, uh, I thought it, uh... it... it looked like you were having so much fun.
Sheldon Cooper : Hey! That's what you used to tell me to say to Penny after one of her terrible plays.
Penny Hofstadter : [hitting him] Hey!
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey!
Amy Farrah Fowler : Well, what was wrong with it? You know, did you find it... borderline psychotic? I mean, I liked that about it, but... you guys discuss.
-
Sheldon Cooper : You want me to lie?
Penny Hofstadter : Well, it's not lying. It's acting. Sheldon Cooper may not like kids, but Professor Proton loves them.
Sheldon Cooper : Interesting. You know, I really hadn't thought of it that way. It... it's similar to how, you know, I'm afraid of dogs, but my "D&D" character likes dogs, you know? But he's allergic, so he can't be around them.
Penny Hofstadter : Why don't we have a dog?
Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, you can always re-shoot it.
Sheldon Cooper : Mm, I suppose. And, you know, maybe I could even get some tips from someone who's acted professionally.
Penny Hofstadter : Oh. Sheldon, obviously, I'd be happy to help you out.
Sheldon Cooper : [more condescending than grateful] I don't know what to say.
-
Penny Hofstadter : You really don't trust me. You had to have Amy stop by?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : We trust you.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah. You were a terrible waitress and we still asked you to get us a snack.