- Sheldon Cooper: Fool me N times, where N is the number of times you've fooled me before, shame on you. Fool me N plus one times, shame on me.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, Penny, I folded your laundry for you.
- Penny Hofstadter: That's not mine.
- Sheldon Cooper: It's not?
- Penny Hofstadter: No.
- Sheldon Cooper: [holds up a pair of large pink panties] So you're telling me that this is not yours.
- Penny Hofstadter: Nope.
- Sheldon Cooper: So I'm holding a stranger's underpants.
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah.
- Sheldon Cooper: [drops the panties and puts Purell on his hands] And just like that, it's the worst day of my life.
- Raj Koothrappali: What would you do if you had a billion dollars?
- Howard Wolowitz: Same as Bill Gates. I'd use it to make the world a better place, only I'd do it while wearing a fully working Iron Man suit.
- Raj Koothrappali: Didn't know those came in a boys medium.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Didn't you hear me yell "hold the door"?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes, but you know what they say: hold the door, get robbed some more.
- Leonard Hofstadter: No one says that.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, they should. It's true and it rhymes.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: God. What's happening? I'm a smart, educated, successful...
- Amy Farrah Fowler: 'Woman'?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I was gonna get it.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Don't be so hard on yourself. Pregnancy and childbirth actually cause physical changes to the structure of your brain.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I liked the old structure of my brain. But then
- [takes a look at her frame]
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: , I liked a lot of my old structures.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, these are positive changes. Studies with rats show that new mothers are more sensitive to danger, better at multitasking and bolder in the pursuit of food.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Amy made me realize that new mothers are cognitively primed to take in new information, and I've been wasting it making up songs about our babies' toes.
- Howard Wolowitz: To be fair, I co-wrote "Pinky Toe, Pinky Toe".
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Evolution gave me this mom brain to focus on the baby, but I figure I can hack it to learn all kinds of new things.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I've totally just solved what hotel he's staying at.
- Howard Wolowitz: What are we waiting for?
- Leonard Hofstadter: For Penny to walk down the stairs, get in her car, and drive away.
- Sheldon Cooper: So, it wasn't a joke and I actually could have met him.
- Leonard Hofstadter: He's probably still there.
- Sheldon Cooper: What hotel?
- Leonard Hofstadter: La Quinta Inn, Thousand Oaks, under the name Hernandez.
- Sheldon Cooper: Thank you! Thank you so much.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [after Sheldon leaves] April Fools.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Can I get you anything? Juice box? Nanners?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Nanners?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sorry, mom-brain. I think I forgot how to talk to grown-ups. I meant *buh*-nanners.
- Howard Wolowitz: Do you think you could get Bill Gates to sign something for me?
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, maybe. Like what?
- Howard Wolowitz: My arm, my chest, his call.
- Penny Hofstadter: His call will be to the police.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You wanna take a break and get something to eat?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Sure.
- [as Amy starts to leave, Bernadette sits watching the TV]
- Wendy: [on the TV] A job's come in. A streetlight's been knocked over.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Why does it not feel like we're going?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Hang on. I just wanna see if Bob can fix it.
- Wendy: [on TV] Can you fix it?
- Bob: [on TV] Yes I can.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Yes he can!
- [Amy adjusts her glasses in frustration]