Kaley Cuoco credited as playing...
Penny Hofstadter
- Sheldon Cooper: All right, that moves us on to the tactical shipping phase. Penny, I believe as logistics commander, that's you.
- Penny Hofstadter: Okay.
- [waving a white napkin]
- Penny Hofstadter: I surrender.
- Sheldon Cooper: Nice try, Penny. It takes more than everybody not enjoying it to stop a game with Sheldon Cooper.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, we're talking about something important here.
- Sheldon Cooper: Fine. If you pick a baby name, can we get back to playing?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Sure.
- Sheldon Cooper: All right, here we go. Ranatanata.
- Raj Koothrappali: You can't name him Ranatanata.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, right, it's a boy. That'd be ridiculous. What about Ozymandias?
- Penny Hofstadter: Are you making these up or having a stroke?
- Sheldon Cooper: Guys, wake up. Terrible news.
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, my god. What, what, what? Is it the baby?
- Sheldon Cooper: No. No, no, we miscalculated our unassigned armor class units. We need to start over.
- Raj Koothrappali: What?
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, no, no, no, not from the beginning. Just from when the tanks started moving.
- Leonard Hofstadter: That was five hours ago.
- Sheldon Cooper: [checking his watch] Mm, no. No, that was two hours ago. It only feels like five.
- Raj Koothrappali: [He, Penny, and Leonard show up at Howard and Bernadette's house. He's holding a bag of food carriers] Hey guys. I brought Chinese.
- Penny Hofstadter: [Indicating Raj with her hands] And I brought Indian.
- Penny Hofstadter: [Trying to get Bernadette to do some yoga with her] We go down.
- [Penny squats down effortlessly, while Bernadette tries using the chair for assistance]
- Penny Hofstadter: Then back up.
- [She comes back up, but Bernadette is stuck]
- Penny Hofstadter: And back up!
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Yeah, hearing you is not the problem.
- [Penny gets her cell phone and points it at Bernadette]
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: What are you doing? Put that thing away.
- Penny Hofstadter: Smile.
- [Click. The picture makes Bernadette look like she's going #2]
- Penny Hofstadter: Hey, Bernie, it's me. I let myself in.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [sitting on the stairs] Hey.
- Penny Hofstadter: What are you doing? I thought you were supposed to be on bed rest.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: That's done, but I've been on stair rest for the last forty-five minutes.
- Penny Hofstadter: Here, let me help you.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: [Penny helps her stand up] Yeah. If you really want to help, put on a rubber glove, reach on up there and start pulling.
- Penny Hofstadter: I know you're joking, but I grew up on a farm. I'll do it.
- Penny Hofstadter: You know, when my yoga instructor was pregnant, she told me there are tons of poses that put her right into labor.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I'll try, but I feel like bendy poses are what got me into this mess.
- Penny Hofstadter: Okay, we're gonna start with some nice breathing exercises.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Sorry. I can't think of anything except how flat your belly is.
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, thank you.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Go put on some more clothes, you bitch.
- Penny Hofstadter: When did you pick out our kids' names?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Remember that day you moved into the building?
- Penny Hofstadter: Yes.
- Leonard Hofstadter: A non-creepy amount of time after that.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You've thought about our kids?
- Sheldon Cooper: Of course. I think you and I will have exceptional children.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Aw. Well, I think so, too.
- Raj Koothrappali: How many kids do you guys want?
- Sheldon Cooper: Fifteen.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Two.
- [giving him a weird look]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: What?
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, don't worry. I don't expect you to bear them all. I'm sure we can find a suitable uterus to rent.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [they both turn to glance at Penny] No!
- Penny Hofstadter: Uh-uh!
- Howard Wolowitz: You okay?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Uh, I think that was a contraction.
- Howard Wolowitz: Is it time? Do we need to go the hospital?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: No. We've been through this before. My water hasn't even broken yet.
- Sheldon Cooper: Never mind your water. Has your mucus plug popped out?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Ew, no!
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, you're right. We probably would've heard that.
- Penny Hofstadter: It's not a champagne cork. Although, that would be festive.