- Virginia Loc: [to Dean] At this point in my life, I'm not looking for a boyfriend.
- Dean Simms: I understand.
- Virginia Loc: You do?
- Dean Simms: Yeah. It would be weird for you to look for a boyfriend when you have me.
- Desna Simms: [about Dean] I spent my whole life raising him and he picks Gang Bang Wang as his first girlfriend.
- Polly: I agree Virginia isn't ideal, being a half idiot and all, but you've got to remember you did a great job raising Dean and we will beat her ass to death if anything bad happens to him.
- Desna Simms: [after looking at Jenn's mansion] In my next life, Lord, let me come back as a white hillbilly.
- Dean Simms: [to Virginia] I get overloaded in crowds. It's like a million different TVs and they're all playing different channels.
- Gladys Coleman Pirette: [to Roller] I love you more than the moon and the stars, but if you try to leave me, I will put you down.