Will Arnett credited as playing...
BoJack Horseman
- BoJack Horseman: Hollyhock, I'm glad you're here. If I'm shitty, that's just because I'm shitty, and you're allowed to be mad at me. But you need to know that whatever I do, it's not your fault.
- Hollyhock: I know. I mean, I know, but I don't always know, you know? Like sometimes I have this tiny voice in the back of my head that goes like, "Hey, everyone hates you, and they're not wrong to feel that way."
- BoJack Horseman: I know what you mean.
- Hollyhock: That voice... the one that tells you you're worthless and stupid and ugly?
- BoJack Horseman: Yeah?
- Hollyhock: It goes away, right? It's just like, a dumb teenage girl thing, but then it goes away?
- BoJack Horseman: [beat] Yeah.
- BoJack Horseman: [First lines, in voice-over] Piece of shit. Stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit. But I know I'm a piece of shit. That at least makes me better than all the pieces of shit that don't know they're pieces of shit. Or is it worse?
- BoJack Horseman: But now I can feel her getting attached, and I just know I'm gonna BoJack things up.
- Mr. Peanutbutter: "BoJack things up?" You mean, show up somewhere and be the life of the party? Then share a laugh with your good friend, Mr. Peanutbutter?
- BoJack Horseman: No, obviously I meant screw everything up until she hates me. I don't think I can take that.
- Mr. Peanutbutter: Maybe this time, don't do the thing that makes her hate you.
- BoJack Horseman: I don't want to, but every time she looks at me with those big innocent eyes, all I can think about is every shitty thing I've ever done, and I think, "I don't deserve that kind of love."
- BoJack Horseman: [Inner monologue] You screw-up. You're making your daughter hate you, which is good because look at what happens when people love you. Look at Penny and Herb and Sarah Lynn. It's because you made them love you, BoJack. You gotta fix this dummy. How can you fix this?
- Mr. Peanutbutter: I don't think you should be driving right now. Why don't I be like Eddie Money and take you home tonight?
- BoJack Horseman: No, I can't go home tonight, not without doll. Also Eddie Money doesn't do the taking home in Take Me Home Tonight. So if you're taking me home, then I would be Eddie Money.
- BoJack Horseman: [Inner monologue] Go talk to her, idiot. Drink first. No, you stupid alcoholic. Talk to your daughter. You're ruining her. You know that, right? No matter what, your poison is already in her, there's nothing you can do. That's not true. Yeah, it is, you stupid piece of shit. You're a real stupid piece of shit, and everywhere you go, you destroy people. Of course your mother never loved you, what do you expect? That's why Sarah Lynn died, that's why Charlotte will never forgive you. What you gonna do to Hollyhock? What you gonna do, asshole? Shut up!
- Beatrice Horseman: [Talking to a doll] Oh, when you grow up, you can be anything you want to be.
- BoJack Horseman: [Inner monologue] Lousy baby. What did it ever do that was so great? Am I jealous of a doll? Well, maybe if that doll wasn't so smug, looking at me with its creepy doll eyes.
- BoJack Horseman: She's tricking you, Hollyhock. This is not what she's really like.
- Hollyhock: Who cares? Whatever beef you have with your mom, that's just a sweet confused old lady.
- BoJack Horseman: [Inner monologue] She's right.
- BoJack Horseman: You're wrong. She's in there. She knows exactly what she's doing.
- Hollyhock: You are so paranoid.
- Beatrice Horseman: Please stop fighting. All this shouting is bad for the baby.
- BoJack Horseman: Where was that keen parenting insight 50 years ago?