Mom (TV Series)

Night Swimmin' and an English Muffin (2017)

Allison Janney: Bonnie Plunkett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bonnie : [after meeting Danielle and revealing she broke into her house]  Oh, one more thing, here's a dollar, I made myself an English muffin.

  [leaves] 

  Danielle : [pause, confused]  Oh God help me, I like her.

• Adam : One more thing, the next time you plan to drop in on my ex-wife, don't break in, she used to be a small arms instructor in the army.

  Bonnie : Not funny.

  Adam : No joke, she can shoot a cigarette out of your mouth at 50 feet.

  Bonnie : Seriously?

  Adam : It's how she got me to quit smoking.

• Danielle : What're you doing here? And keep in mind I already have 9-1 dialed on my phone.

  Bonnie : Relax, if I was going to attack you I would've been waiting inside. Oh by the way, you have nice china.

  Danielle : You broke in to my house?

  Bonnie : I had to tinkle.

• Danielle : [about Adam]  You really love him, don't you?

  Bonnie : Of course I do, why else do you think I'd risk squeezing through a doggie door with a full bladder?

• Bonnie : [about Samson]  You know, if you want to see him more, he can stay at my place once in a while.

  Adam : Are you sure? He's a lot of work, he has arthritis, he's incontinent, and he's half deaf.

  Bonnie : Yeah, sure, I promised Christy a dog 30 years ago, she'll be mad if I don't come through.

  Bonnie : Are you just doing this to keep me away from my ex-wife?

  Bonnie : Of course not.

  [to Samson] 

  Bonnie : Whose your new mommy? I'm your new mommy.

  [directly into his ear] 

  Bonnie : Can you hear me?

  [he doesn't respond]