DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV Series)

Return of the Mack (2017)

Nick Zano: Nate Heywood, Steel

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Quotes 

• Nate Heywood : See, the anachronisms form a pattern.

  Dr. Martin Stein : I should have guessed. Though time may be broken, like all matter in the known universe, it still possesses a mathematical harmony.

  Jefferson Jackson : Not exactly. What about those two?

  Nate Heywood : Those two are outliers. First one, Seattle, 2042.

  Zari Tomaz : When the assassin tried to kill me.

  Nate Heywood : Right. While cool - not the part where, you know, you almost got killed - it's not as cool as the other one. London, 1895. How do I say this? There's a vampire. Half-dozen men snatched off the streets, only to have their bodies dumped three days later completely drained of blood.

  Mick Rory : [brandishing a stake]  Vampires. Waited my whole life to kill one.

  Jefferson Jackson : Do you just carry that around all the time?

  Mick Rory : My whole life.

• Sara Lance : Victorian London. Opium dens and low-cut corsets.

  Nate Heywood : Arthur Conan Doyle and the rolling fog.

  Mick Rory : Syphilis, whores, and vampires.

  Jefferson Jackson : That's a strong smell of garlic.

  Mick Rory : It's tied around my neck.

  Sara Lance : Yeah, you're a regular Van Helsing.

  Nate Heywood : That's from "Dracula".

  Mick Rory : I'm reading it. Don't tell me the end.

• Coroner : What's going on here? Scotland Yard has already visited twice, and if the NYPD is issuing ladies warrant cards, then I'm the bloody Queen.

  [a ringtone suddenly starts playing] 

  Sara Lance : All right, who brought their phone?

  Nate Heywood : Wasn't me. But I do love that song.

• Nate Heywood : No sign of any vampires. I wish this was like a Kristen Stewart type, all broody and sparkly.

  Mick Rory : Vampires don't sparkle.

  Nate Heywood : You know, Mick, you and the vamp have a lot in common. You both like to sleep in and, you know, kill people.

• Sara Lance : Nate, where are you?

  Nate Heywood : I don't know, but I just had a chat with Professor Stein's weird lookalike evil cousin.

  Gideon : Great-great grandfather, to be exact. The famous stage actor, Sir Henry Stein.

  Dr. Martin Stein : Astonishing! The... the chances of us running into one of my ancestors are astronomical. Family lore recalls him as being an eccentric. But then, what can one expect from an actor?

  Nate Heywood : He's also an occult weirdo who kidnapped me to feed his master.

  Rip Hunter : Excellent. The vampire will lead us to Mallus. Stay where you are, Dr. Heywood.

  Nate Heywood : [tied down]  Yeah, that's not gonna be a problem.

• Gideon : Shock missiles away, Captain.

  Nate Heywood : Oh, this is gonna suck so bad.

  Jefferson Jackson : Uh, Gray, if we're gonna die, I don't want us to go out mad at each other. So, uh, I can't remember what for, but I'm sorry.

  Dr. Martin Stein : You were just thinking of me. Actually, I should be thanking you.

  Ray Palmer : Aww. Who wants to hold hands?

  Nate Heywood : Ray, it's not freaking "Toy Story 3".

  Mick Rory : Everyone shut up. I got one page left.

• Mick Rory : One lousy beer for breakfast.

  Nate Heywood : It's breakfast?

  Ray Palmer : Yeah. What time did you go to bed last night, buddy?

  Nate Heywood : I didn't. Drank a lot of coffee. Can you tell?

• Sara Lance : Nate, why are we staring at an anachronism map?

  Nate Heywood : Because, captain, I did a deep dive on the data, and the anachronisms we created at first glance seem scattershot, random. But since history is cause and effect, I decided to do a little experiment. I folded the linear timeline onto itself following the mathematics of the Golden Ratio. Follow me...

  [leading them to Gideon's interface] 

  Nate Heywood : Damn it, Gideon, that was your cue.

  Gideon : My apologies, Dr. Heywood.

• Coroner : Who are you lot?

  Nate Heywood : Oi. Scotland Yard. We're here to see about these so-called vampire attacks.

  Sara Lance : And we're with the NYPD.

  Jefferson Jackson : Nothing like a bit of cooperation from across the pond, right?

  Nate Heywood : Right.

  Ray Palmer : This one of the victims?

  Coroner : Unlucky devil.

  [Mick steps forward and stakes the victim in the heart] 

  Nate Heywood : Whoa, whoa! Mick!

  Mick Rory : You don't want him coming back to life, do you?

• Ray Palmer : All right, we're looking for an unmarked grave among hundreds. I say we split up. Check 'em row by row.

  Nate Heywood : Or we can start with the one that's already dug up.

• Rip Hunter : When I permitted the Legends to keep the Waverider...

  Nate Heywood : Nobody permits us to do anything.

  Rip Hunter : I had an ulterior motive.

  Sara Lance : Why does that not surprise me?

• Rip Hunter : For the last five years, I've been chasing a phantom. A name whispered across time and in every language. Mallus.

  Nate Heywood : The Phantom Mollusk? An evil shellfish?

  Rip Hunter : "Mall-us". An evil so ancient and powerful that the Time Masters dared not speak his name. Now, I believe that he is recruiting allies from throughout time to his cause. Now, anachronisms are the result of your breaking time.

  Mick Rory : [meaning Sara]  It was her idea.

  Rip Hunter : But these outliers, they are most certainly the work of Mallus. Now, the Time Bureau is a bureaucracy and lacks the imagination to understand this particular threat, and Director Bennett objects to my crusade.

  Sara Lance : Hmm.

  Rip Hunter : I'm alone out here.

  Nate Heywood : So... what I'm hearing is your hot new girlfriend dumped you and now you're crawling back to your ex.

  Mick Rory : Ugh. And I'm no one's side piece.

  Sara Lance : You know, I think they're on to something here. Look, "sweetie". We would love to take you back, but we don't know how we could trust you again.

  Rip Hunter : Would circumstances be any different if I were to call off my hot new girlfriend's pursuit of you?

  Nate Heywood , Sara Lance : Hmm...

  Sara Lance : Deal.

• Rip Hunter : This outlier, the... the vampire, is most likely the objective of Mallus. Catch the vampire, catch Mallus.

  Sara Lance : Sounds like we're gonna need vampire bait.

  [she glances at Mick, who glances at Nate] 

  Nate Heywood : Me? Is it 'cause I'm handsome?

  Mick Rory : Pretty.

  Nate Heywood : Pretty handsome.

• Nate Heywood : Overcrowding and poverty made Whitechapel a breeding ground for criminal activity, culminating in the Ripper's murders right around... well, now. Isn't history fascinating?

  Sara Lance : It certainly is.

  Mick Rory : Trusting the Englishman was a damn mistake.

  Rip Hunter : You know we're all on comms, don't you, Mr. Rory?

  Mick Rory : I don't give a rat's ass.

• Sir Henry Stein : "Methought I heard a voice cry, 'Sleep no more!'".

  Nate Heywood : Professor Stein?

  Sir Henry Stein : No. Shakespeare, actually. And it's "Sir Stein" to you. It's not every actor who is knighted.

  Nate Heywood : Oh, god. This can't be happening.

  Sir Henry Stein : Thanks to your lifeblood, my master will finally make his return. But there's much to be done in the meantime.

  Nate Heywood : [to himself, as Stein leaves]  Yeah, well, that wasn't creepy.

• Nate Heywood : Whatever they roofied me with fritzed out my powers.

  Sara Lance : Can you describe where you are?

  Nate Heywood : Uh, like a... an operating room? All I know is there's a spooky-ass red moon painting on the wall.

• Nate Heywood : About time.

  [his face falls when he sees it's not who he's expecting] 

  Lab Assistant : I'm as excited as you are. But we all must wait for the blood-red moon before the ceremony may begin.

  Nate Heywood : Oh, gross. If you need me, I'll be, um, I'll be right over here.

  [turning on his comm] 

  Nate Heywood : [whispering]  Sara, I could really use a rescue right now.

• Nate Heywood : Wait, the vampire... that was you?

  Lab Assistant : A two-pronged needle by my own invention is hardly vampiric.

  Nate Heywood : Then who's the stiff?

  Sara Lance : [entering]  Nate, are you okay?

  Nate Heywood : Does it look like I'm okay? Instead of a sexy vampire, I got stuck with this weirdo.

• Mick Rory : The hell is going on? We're not killing vampires anymore?

  Rip Hunter : Captain Lance, need I remind you we are no longer just fixing ordinary anachronisms here. Mallus is the only game that matters.

  Sara Lance : No, it's your game. We have to stop Damien Darhk from coming back to life.

  Rip Hunter : And we will. But from all indications, Mallus is coming here to recruit Darhk. If we destroy Darhk's body, we destroy any chance of apprehending Mallus at the resurrection ceremony.

  Nate Heywood : If Sara says kill Darhk, or re-kill Darhk, or prop him up in a convertible like "Weekend at Bernie's", that's what we do, because she's the captain.

  Rip Hunter : I know that you all want to destroy Darhk once and for all. You're just gonna have to be patient.

  Sara Lance : I'd like to speak to you in private.

  Nate Heywood : [patting him on the shoulder]  Good luck in there.

• Dr. Martin Stein : It's Mr. Hunter.

  Nate Heywood : What's he done?

  [a protective steel shield covers the Waverider] 

  Ray Palmer : All the exits are locked.

  Jefferson Jackson : And I can't override the command.

  Sara Lance : Damn it, Rip.

  Mick Rory : Told you we should never have trusted the Englishman.

  Amaya Jiwe : Where's Zari?

• Jefferson Jackson : Our coordinates say we're right above the Order.

  Sara Lance : Prepare the shock missiles.

  Mick Rory : [reading "Dracula"]  Three pages left.

  Amaya Jiwe : What are you doing? Zari's in there.

  Sara Lance : I need you to target the cargo bay.

  Ray Palmer : Our cargo bay?

  Nate Heywood : Shouldn't we have a team vote first?

  Sara Lance : If anybody has a better idea how to get the ship open, now's the time. Trust me, Jax. Fire.