Lifeform

Could not get past the trailer. Garbled. Made no sense.

Couldn't even get past the first 10 minutes. Awful direction, screenplay, and acting.

Very 1970's grindhouse. Bad acting, cheap effects, cheap peeks at her. Almost a satire on the genre. Certainly a statement. Seen on Tubi, the free streaming site; which has many indie films, and now, live TV.

Wow, been a while since I have seen something this bad. Where to start? The cinematography was just horrible. Obviously someone in a drama class at the Jr. College. Here's a hint ... closeups are used rarely, not frequently, and when you do don't get so close you can't see the neck and the bangs! Wow. First clue you are in for a rough movie. The rest of the scene setups were just as bad. Try a few lights and a tripod once in a while. And if you think your film is great if the whole things is dark, think again ... unless you are shooting the while thing at night in the forest. I won't even talk about script, if there is one, and I have seen better special effects from movies of the 1950's.

Seriously every time I was about ready to turn this very terrible movie off a new naked boob filled the screen. Just about every single female in the film exposes her mams at some point. Usually followed by their impending death scene. Sometimes they're only partly nude, sometimes they're fully nude, but always close up and always with the camera lingering just so matter-of-factly.

That (or those, or them) are the only positive thing(s) I can say about this movie. The acting is stilted, the writing is so unmemorable that you forget it as you watch it, and EVERY SINGLE frame of EVERY SINGLE shot in EVERY SINGLE scene contains copious amounts of fake lens flare across the entire screen. And that is not an exaggeration. It is everywhere.

Now I'm only about an hour in and I really don't want to finish watching this, but like I said, every single time I think I'm ready to stop it a new pair of--

Well... No, well okay... now it seems like some weird tentacle hentai mess thing is happening...

...... MY RATINGS SCALE ......

• 1. Reserved for Poorly Produced/Amateur Video Junk
• 2. Utterly Terrible -- 3. Really Bad -- 4. Mediocre --
• 5. Just Okay/Average -- 6. Surprisingly Entertaining (with Shortcomings) --
• 7. Very Entertaining/Good -- 8. Incredibly Good -- 9. Exceptional/Great --
• 10. Reserved for my own Personal Favorites.