Triple H: You know, over the last couple of days, Steph, I've heard a lot of people talk about Monday night, how the McMahon-Helmsley regime had a bad day. How, more importantly, how I had a bad day. Let's face it, I really don't have very many bad days, and that wasn't one of 'em. I think because as time goes on and you look back in the record books, the record books will clearly show that it really wasn't a very bad day. I mean, hell, I never lost the World Wrestling Federation championship to Chris Jericho. I mean, that never... never took place. The record books will also show that there was never a quick count by an incompetent official. It will never show Earl Hebner trying to screw me. It will also never show you, me, and Shane then firing that incompetent official and cutting the problem off and just getting rid of it. Now, you have to admit, though, possibly the one thing Monday that did happen that could be considered bad...
[the crowd begins chanting for the Rock]
Triple H: The one thing that happened Monday that could be considered bad was when Linda McMahon, your mom, came out here to make her very special announcement. And, you know, Steph, while we're talking about your mom, you know, look, you and I have always talked about having kids someday and doing the whole family thing. To be quite honest with you, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving our kids with your mom. She's a psycho. She needs some help. What the hell kind of mother would slap down her own daughter? Linda McMahon, your mother, reared her hand back and struck down her only daughter.
[the crowd cheers]
Triple H: What kind of a woman does something like that? That's sick. I won't bring our kids anywhere near her. What, she's gonna slap them around, too? She'll be kicking the kids and smackin' 'em all over the place. She's sick. She needs help. And, all right, maybe I snapped a little bit. Seeing you get slapped, maybe I did snap, I grabbed Linda. I wouldn't have really given her the Pedigree. I mean, come on, let's face it, deep down inside, I'm a hell of a guy.
[the crowd jeers]
Triple H: I'm a nice guy. I wouldn't have actually given her the Pedigree. I mean, I was just scaring her. I would have let her go, but no, your hothead brother runs over and punches me in the face. And, I mean, I understand, Shane's always been a little bit of a momma's boy. But that's okay. Hey, there's nothing wrong with loving your mommy the way Shane does. I mean... but, you know, now that I'm thinking about it, when I talk about your mom and I ask the question what kind of a woman does something like that, I guess it's the same kind of a woman that would come to this ring and do something such as take a fair contest between two great athletes for the World Wrestling Federation champion, take a fair contest and then try to stack the odds against me by putting in the Rock's corner none other than Stone Cold Steve Austin.
[the crowd roars]
Triple H: But as far as the Rock goes, Rock, you want somebody in your corner? Well, tonight I'm gonna give you a chance to get used to that very thing, to have somebody in your corner. Hell, I'm gonna give you somebody in every corner. No, I'm gonna give you somebody all around the ring. Because tonight, in this very ring, it will be none other than the Ayatollah of Butthole-a, Chris Jericho, going one on one with the People's Champ, the Rock. Oh, but I forgot to mention that it will be a lumberjack match, and those lumberjacks are right now, at this very moment, being carefully hand-selected by none other than my brother-in-law, your brother, Shane McMahon. So as it goes, never fear. The McMahon-Helmsley regime is in complete control. We are taking care of business, and read my lips, there will be no more bad days.
[Tazz's music hits, and he comes out to the entrance ramp]
Tazz: Is that right, champ? You know, it's good to see that you're in such a pleasant mood. But... THE MOOD IS ABOUT TO CHANGE! You know, you run around here like you got everything under control, all your bases covered. But what I say, you open that big mouth of yours just a little bit wider and take a bite out of something you can't swallow! And you ain't gotta put that title on the line, alls you gotta do is lace 'em up real tight, get in that ring, and find out why they call me the Human Wrecking Machine!
Triple H: You want a piece of me tonight? You got it. You bring that little belt you got around your waist; what does that stand for? ECW or something?
[the Philadelphia crowd begins an "ECW" chant]
Triple H: Well, jack, understand this, you step in the ring with me tonight, this is the World Wrestling Federation, and I am gonna prove to the world, I am gonna prove to you, and I am gonna prove to every one of these idiots that was just chanting those three letters that ECW *SUCKS*!
Tazz: Well, I'll tell you what, big time. From one champion to another champion, get prepared to be choked out. And by the way, you call yourself the Game? I don't play games!
