"Blackcatloner Reviews" Old Fashioned (TV Episode 2016) - Tim Haines as Blackcatloner

Blackcatloner : Meanwhile Clay is lectured by Aunt May that he needs to lighten up and stop using his faith like a wall to keep people out, probably because Mexico won't pay for it.

[Rimshot]

Blackcatloner : And to pursue Amber.
Blackcatloner : And that is followed up by this scene.

Amber : [Creepy music plays as Amber walks up behind Clay as he is looking through his coupons. She crashes her cart into his] Hey there, Stress Boy.

Clay Walsh : Hey there, Pretty Girl.

Blackcatloner : Most awkward and creepy shopping scene ever!
Blackcatloner : So anyway, here's a clip of how the movie opens.

[Opening scene from Old Fashioned plays]

Clay Walsh : I thought I would always be alone.

Amber : Why?

Clay Walsh : It's what I deserve.

Amber : Oh, that's a bunch of hooey.

[laughs]

Blackcatloner : [Giving the thumbs up] Rated PG-13!
Blackcatloner : When it was released, the movie was billed as the "anti-Fifty Shades of Grey." And ironically it was released *against* Fifty Shades of Grey. And in terms of rocket science, guess which romantic chick flick won out in the end?

[Poster of Fifty Shades of Grey appears]

Blackcatloner : You guessed it. They preferred the romantic movie that involves a girl getting whipped and beaten by a good-looking billionaire sociopath over a well-meaning ex-bad boy sociopath trying to reintroduce outdated dating values in the creepiest of ways.

Tim Haines: Blackcatloner