A Horrible Woman (2017) User Reviews

Horrible Is Commonplace

[TheOneYouMiss · 8/10 · 2 January 2021]

After watching Amanda Collin in Raised By Wolves, I wanted to see some of her other work. I saw this was available for free on Amazon Prime and the trailer looked good, so I was happy to check this out.

Based on the title, and sinister cover photo, I expected Marie (played by Amanda Collin) to be some kind of devious sadist who enjoyed webbing a weave of evil. But that's not what this film is. And to be honest, I'm not even sure if I would call her "horrible." Perhaps that's because so many of her manipulative behaviors are commonplace and somehow not condemned enough in modern culture.

At the crux of this film lies an all too common relationship with a heavily unbalanced power and personality dynamic. Aggressive women like Marie are toxic, manipulative, and abusive for men like Rasmus. Men like Rasmus would be better with a woman with a different kind of feminine energy.

Despite almost always getting her way, Rasmus doesn't give Marie what she wants, which is a confident man who shares his life with her. She doesn't want to be with a man whose only life is her. With each concession and roll over that Rasmus makes, the less respect she has for him.

This starts to come to a head on their museum date, where Marie articulates the problem in the relationship. Tired of Rasmus lacking a backbone, and unwillingness to confront it, she does it for him.

"Are you afraid of me? It just seems like you're afraid. You walk on eggshells around me. I can't stand it. I don't know what I've done to you. That's why I am asking you. You tip toe around me, and you act like a little puppy. Why do you have to do that? Why can't you just be yourself?"

Both men and women have been in relationships with this unequally yoked dynamic, and this familiarity should cause some introspection. Perhaps we can see how we have been horrible to others or accepted horrible behaviors from others out of fear of losing a relationship. I enjoy films like this because it holds a mirror to us, and for those looking to grow, it challenges us to do better.

An interesting and realistic depiction of an abusive relationship

[calspers · 7/10 · 18 August 2020]

"A Horrible Woman" directed by Christian Tafdrup is an utterly realistic depiction of abusive relationship tendencies, seen through the perspective of protagonist Rasmus.

Both leads deliver convincing performances of these aspects of human behavior, and the abuser's gender is not solely important in my view. Much more so are the psychologically regressive and detrimental forms of behavior that are presented, and which both the film's characters and we as viewers are forced to reflect upon.

I think this is an intelligent drama shedding light on some of the unhealthy habits and patterns that many of us have come across in life, and without relying on cliches, the film concludes open-endedly.

a portrait of perfect gender compljmentarity

[CineMuseFilms · 8/10 · 16 July 2018]

A question many viewers may have on leaving A Horrible Woman (2017)is whether the film's title is meant to be ironic or judgemental. Today's gender politics make such questions inescapably loaded but this film can also be read as a portrait of perfect complementarity between the sexes.

A simple plotline keeps the focus on its two principal characters. Likeable bachelor Rasmus (Anders Juul) envies his friends' long-term relationships yet values his freedom until he meets the beautiful, vivacious, and interested Marie (Amanda Collin). They are well matched: she is forward and assertive, he is quiet and compliant. Each time she advances into his emotional space, he yields ground. She moves into his apartment and changes everything, while he squirms but is powerless to act.

We observe the story through two frames: one is through the eyes of friends who envy Rasmus his good fortune; the other is through his own diminishing sense of self. The more she deploys femininity to manipulate him the more he meekly acquiesces. In two different scenes, asMarie reaches new thresholds of control, she makes eye contact with us, the viewer, in a "look at what I can do" moment. Chillingly, this conscious duplicity may also be a signal of mental illness and it leaves no doubt that Marie is conscious of her power. Rather than sympathise with her victim, his weakness tempts us to think he deserves what she dishes out. The story takes a few twists and turns through his attempts to stand up to her, but his efforts are not enough to alter the narrative arc of his emasculation.

What are we to make of this unusual film? The director has been attacked as a misogynist, but the recognisability of Rasmus and Marie and their complementary characteristics makes this a broader study of relationships, rather than just another gender battle. They could have swapped gender and the story would play out with as much veracity, but perhaps less entertainment. If this is a valid litmus test, then the film rises above gender discourse.

The performances of the two stars are exemplary. Amanda Collins excels across her repertoire of feminine wiles while Anders Juul is her perfect guileless pawn. The filming style is claustrophobic Nordic domestic drama, with enough black humour to lighten its load. This entertaining study of gender roles makes you wonder how the planet has survived so long.

Been there done that

[troll-36 · 7/10 · 19 November 2022]

I've been there and done that. I'm just very VERY happy we never moved together and sold my apartment or had a baby. Phew!

People are calling Rasmus weak or "wet" but in reality it is not that simple to be rational I'm afraid. You're in a kind of bubble. And I'm NOT weak or stupid etc.

People told me to leave her many times. Friends and family both. But I loved her and we did have some nice moments. Though short lives.

One day she drove me totally nuts and I screamed so much I couldn't speak for days after. It almost became violent. In that moment I realized it was over for me. Some people don't realize it until it's too late.

So guys, beware of the signs. If she makes you become a worse version of yourself. If you are more often unhappy than happy with her. If you argue more than laughing. Leave!

This move made me feel even better about my decision to leave my ex.

Are women evil?

[jkcarlo · 7/10 · 3 June 2018]

Well - according to the Bibel they are! Eve let herself seduce by the snake in eden and ate the forbidden fruit - yet Adam did nothing to stop neither her nor himself of doing so! So who is in fact the evil of the two?

This is exactly the dilemma in this new brilliant danish movie. A young man falls in love with a young attractive woman and soon find - not only his appartment - but also himself changed completely upside down. Soon not only all of his stuff, hobbies and friends are secondery in the will of his newfound love. The very man he once was seems to be too.

Are women simply manipulating and evil or are men simply to weak to finally say: enough is enough?

Well - I will let you (and your partner) be the judge of that. Not matter what your conclusion will be. This movie is a must see!

watched after I loved director's 'speak no evil'

[shanliogg-82946 · 6/10 · 24 February 2023]

I knew it would attract a bunch of loser misogynistic men and some weird women who also hate women. I read from someone that the director was also sounding like a misogynist in his tour blaming all on women in relationships.

Right now, I am watching a lot of films about any type of relationship dysfunction. This is not a gender issue. If you are like Rasmus, either have no goal or specific trait in life, or you have one but never stand up for yourself, and get attracted to dominant characters like her *it could be a man too* then you are used like a door mat.

This director's 'speak no evil' was about asserting yourself and your boundaries, this type a couple and their daughter were harmed as a result of their lack of trust in their own instincts, overlooking red flags, self-doubting about right or wrong, being too kind.

Same thing in this film, but this time, the dynamic is not friendship but a romantic relationship of 1-to-1.

I believe this recent triology is about boundaries, regardless of gender or the nature of relationship. I like it in that sense, but I wish he could show a bit more sensitivity over the title knowing some kind of men will use this to criticise and attack women.

in case you didn't know that this is a horrible woman...

[smoke0 · 8 December 2018]

...she breaks the fourth wall twice just to let us know that she knows she is horrible too. Ok, got it, now what was the point of that? There is no depth to the characters, they were all good and engaging actors but they were all playing strictly one note ciphers - most likely the intention of the director, to get the audience to fill in the gaps from their own perspectives so the film can be considered deep and introspective, instead of just what it really is, shallow and superficial with obivous stereotypes - the harried husband and the harridan wife, ok, got it, and again, I ask, now what was the point of that?

Quite entertaining yet chauvinistic and misogynistic movie

[Kinganiem · 6/10 · 15 October 2017]

At the post-screening Q&A with the film director at the Warsaw Film Festival, I had just one thought: "what a horrible man!". While the movie is admittedly entertaining, it can't be just taken for a crafty satire and pastiche. The conversation with the film director revealed that it is personal, malicious and bitchy revenge for all the wrongs and harms done to him, his brother and all his male buddies by their ex- and current girlfriends and wives (apparently most of the scenes are based on the director's diary). No wonder that the first question from the audience (and from a male viewer!) was: "Do you hate women?"

Are you ready to look yourself in the mirror?

[auritone · 9/10 · 22 June 2018]

Few movies manage to get under your skin and force you to reflect on who you are as a person in terms of relationships. This movie does that in both satirical and humorous ways, but also in dramatic, cringe worthy ways, where the worst inside of us is painfully portrayed. If you think this movie is just about a horrible, possessive, and controlling woman, you are wrong! It is also about the superficiality of male bonding and the destruction of personal identity that happens in any abusive relationship - whether the perpetrator is a man or a woman. I myself, as well as everyone I have talked to who have seen it, saw many painfully recognizable things in these two extremely well acted characters, which brings the poster for the movie into perspective. A Horrible Woman dares us to look in the mirror and be confronted with our own shortcomings and I triple dare anyone who see it, to NOT discuss it afterwards.

A terrible woman?? Maybe, but I think it's more like A ball-less man

[amarrevolver · 6/10 · 4 September 2020]

That's how the majority of women act when they find for themselves an emotionally weak man, this manipulative behavior is frequent in women but it's in humans in general, I don't know exactly if it's because of experiences gained by having a higher accessibility to multiple partners or the fact that they have more freedom and higher success in getting who she desires as a partner than men do, it's like "my way or the highway, I can find someone else to replace you easily, what about you?", strong males (handsome, successful, wealthy) do the same thing because they have the same privileges. This problem is frequent nowadays because there's a higher nombre of weak man than ever, and they think they're" nice guys".. No dude you're just weak and gutless. Bottom line we need another world war.. Jk

How this ever got nominated for anything is beyond me

[lulu_aka_pinky · 4/10 · 20 November 2018]

As the title gives away, this movie is about a horrible woman. However I'd say it's very much about the lead character as well. The director and creator of this story, revealed in an interview that this horrible woman was created as a mixture of all the women he's been with. Which makes sense when you know it. When you don't, the lead woman seems like a sociopath who likes to toy with her boyfriend. Objectively it's easy to follow. But the movie lacks complete insight and to go to greater depths with the characters. The lead role, the man selfdoubts himself so much, is obviously so miserable and only tells her off after weeks of being fed up with her, that leaves you not feeling sorry for him at all. All you can think of is how weak he seems to be. Hereby why, we're lacking depth. If we could see, better understand how she little by little takes away his self esteem or takes over or like a typical deranged and manipulative person, she'd toy with him. But no, all you see is her getting meaner and meaner and never apologising for it. Which only leaves us thinking that the lead character is an idiot who just doesn't stand up for himself and frankly the ending just let's us know that he is just that. Too bad. The lead actress however plays superbly.

Is love respect or domination? A great cinematic analysis..

[erdmannmartin · 10/10 · 17 November 2017]

First, you have to thank the creators of the film for their courage in times when it is a politically correct opinion that women are the "better" people to make such a movie. There are very few countries in the world where freedom of thought and speech is as normal as in Denmark.

This film is a very deep analysis of female subtle exercise of power. A film to which you can attach two more parts. I hope that this film is not only in Denmark in the cinema.

It is not understandable when the critic simply asks himself if the director hates women. Even if it were so, what should be inferred from it? Is this supposed woman-hater put on the politically correct wall? There are currently hundreds of correct films about strong women fighting bad guys. Are these all male haters? It does not matter if anyone hates women or not. It's about a perfect analysis of female behavior, presented here in a comedy with much bitter truth. Not more!

At the post-screening of the film in Lübeck (nordic film week), the women who spoke out praised the film very much. A psychiatric doctor (a woman...) has even confirmed that control delusion and subtle exercise of power is a typical diagnosis among women. The director's brother was very surprised ...

What should love be? Is love respect or domination? A great cinematic analysis with bitter humor from a male perspective was created here.

I wish all people to open their eyes and creatively allow a new sovereign and free discussion on the gender war. This film is a milestone on this meaning.

un real

[ropelawshiel · 6/10 · 28 September 2020]

Rasmus is a nice guy but an unreal wet. I can not see any circumstance where this freakish conduct would work in the real world. The leads are both excellent in their respective roles. Watch and enjoy. I came to the film as I did not know the actress, but am loving her in" Raised by wolves."

some form of not so rare maturity is in conflicts with the most common form of immaturity ...

[Sherparsa · 7/10 · 2 March 2022]

And that's when things may or may not work right for either party involved in a romantic relationship ...

yes, the woman here is abusive, compulsive, controlling, obsessive, manipulative and all that perhaps ... she's even quite tall with a towering height for the 'average' woman ... but she also holds the upper hand in being more mature, knowledgeable, creative and all than the little guy who's still playing silly childish games with his chums ... the woman does that too at times, but well, she's also still quite young after all ...

and believe it or not, 'love' does require some sacrifice, doesn't it ... if the young man truly wants this lovely woman, then so be it, now you have to accept her terms ... does she want too much? Fine! Then just leave her in a polite friendly manner without breaking her heart or being cruel (she loves you too, remember?) and go on living your own childish suicidal *Nirvana* lifestyle ... at least, she does accept her own faults and weaknesses just as well, doesn't she? She is willing to work on herself, so why not you too!?

The only question, however, is, why in the first place this 'superior' woman falls for such an 'inferior' kind of man?

If it's just a passing short fling, then why do both of them want to go on doing it with a newborn child on the way too? And why doesn't the man realize that he is the more quiet introvert one when it comes to discussing big and small matters in the couple's life, while the extrovert she is willing to talk about everything and make all things clear among the two?

Personally, after having gone through nearly three decades of living with a woman who has quietly manipulated me all along, (with me allowing, rather even encouraging her to do so!) i'd rather deal with a woman like the one in this move, who doesn't hide behind a huge thick veil of silence playing innocent ...

i'd rather deal with a woman who opens up her mouth and if needed, insults me too, but also talks her heart out and lets me know what's going on ... yes, she is so badly mistaken at times (because she just needs a husband and doesn't care who it's going to be as long as he's there for her?) but again, she does accept her flaws without forgetting that she's not the only flawed person in this relationship ... isn't that what the guy should do too? But even in the end she doesn't quite understand what's going on as he's still into sports (as a 'professional' fan mostly) and bars and that kind of juvenile stuff ... nothing wrong with that of course but that's barely what the woman likes to do and be ...

so, please pay full attention and listen dear young man: if she's not your type, then you're not her type either!

So, either just grow up and accept her with all her weaknesses (yes, she's strong, but she also does suffer from certain missed items!) or again, as said already, simply let go of her, forgive both her and yourself, and go on your own merry way as before! She may feel lost for a while but she's mature and brave enough not to be hurt badly!

Emotional art.

[martinjkristiansen · 10/10 · 21 November 2018]

If you don't look after your self, and who you are as a person, you are in risk of loosing your self. This movie shows all the warnings before you are inside the event horizon, where it is almost impossible to get back.

i was rasmus once

[angarapasali · 8/10 · 7 April 2023]

It is a very accurate movie , and believable story. I liked it very much. I was rooting for rasmus because once upon a time , i was in rasmus' place and played by my ex wife. Women do stuff like that. At the end i was hoping that rasmus would book his flight and never look back but , no he didnt. Oldest trick in the book and rest was history. Family guy also made an episode based on this subject, season 4 episode 21 i take thee quagmire. Characters are well chosen and acting is top notch. Marie is absolutely stunning . She is as gorgeous as alicia vikander. Marie loved visiting rasmus' parents , his guitar skills at first but in time she revealed her true colors. Fellas , watch this film and take some lessons...

Amazing movie

[wrtmpgd · 9/10 · 27 February 2023]

This movie broke my heart. It showed the many nuances of emotional and psychological abuse. The acting was fabulous and the female lead character was very believable with her purposeful manipulation of Rasmus. It was excruciating to watch. Highly recommend.

Spoilers: I feel like Jonathan (the friend from England that they go to the art gallery with) almost takes Rasmus under his wing that night and wants to save him from Marie. His comment where he states Marie is schizo gives us an inside look into what she has been like with others. Their fight that evening where she unleashes a horrific verbal attack on Rasmus is vulgar and horrific.

Realistic portrayel of women

[jonnypetersen · 10/10 · 8 June 2020]

This movie is a very realistic portrayel of most women. It really shows how women are manipulative witches. It's theire way or the highway. Either you obay, and let them take the lead or you stand up for yourself, and tells them to shut up. But if you do that, you can be very sure, that the relationship is over! This movie tells the truth about women.

Now many will now say, that this is wrong. Thats not the way women are towards theire men. Well, I've known a lot of women, and trust me,.. I still need to see a woman who is not like the woman in the movie. Its her way or the highway. Take it, or leave it.

Sad but true.