Probably a record for convoluted plot. They were still explaining the setup 2/3 of the way through the movie. Nothing made any sense. Perhaps they took a 7 book anthology and collapsed into a single movie. Cheesy special effects. Worth watching only if you've exhausted all movies with a higher rating.
19 Reviews
Germans with Soviet Insignia and Japanese Names?
setnaffa-412-5102311 April 2019
Yeah. I was a bit put off by their dyspeptic dystopia; but there were hints of a really decent story, unknown actors heroically-carrying a mortally-wounded, somewhat shallow script and much, much more...
Frankly, the whole thing reminded me of a bad buffet restaurant. You all know one. The place with 150 inedible items on the menu; but the pie is good...
If they got the writers to edit the screenplay, stopped wasting so much ammo, decided what the movie was about, it could have been fun.
Frankly, the whole thing reminded me of a bad buffet restaurant. You all know one. The place with 150 inedible items on the menu; but the pie is good...
If they got the writers to edit the screenplay, stopped wasting so much ammo, decided what the movie was about, it could have been fun.
A mish-mash of...Whatever
nammage15 November 2018
Warning: Spoilers
A low budget film from Germany with some badly spoken English that have some actors speaking with different accents. One of the main actors in the beginning sounds a bit Scottish, though maybe he is Scottish. Maybe they should have just stuck to their native tongue of German. Though there is some characters who do speak German but then go back to English. So apparently it's about a desolate wasteland where genetically advanced humans rule over and oppress the last naturally birthed humans. I guess sex is frowned upon in this future. Virgins must have made the film.
The sets and costuming appear to be either from the local department of sanitation and/or things thrown out from other cheaply made films but though they're varying in its trashy mish-mash look, they're all so clean in this 'wasteland'. I read all the reviews; a few commented on the abundance of profanity. It has the normal amount of profanity that almost any other English-based film has that's rated 'R', actually probably a bit less There's also a story here. The main problem I saw was each scene is hurried along to the next scene which makes the catch-up (explaining of previous scenes) annoying. Also, there aren't that many (maybe one) seasoned actors, or mainly any actors in this film though they do try. There are some pathetically acted parts such as a scene 20-22 minutes in with this zombie-like dude walking toward another man before some ninja-girl kills him. The zombie-like dude was acting quite poorly. I really didn't get the sword carrying women fighters especially since some of them have machine guns, and there are tanks, and flying ships etc., it just seemed out-of-place.
Overall it's watchable if quite nonsensical throughout. If they did without the cheap theatrics of mutant monsters and just kept to the basic story and didn't rush it from scene-to-scene then I think it wouldn't have been that bad.
The sets and costuming appear to be either from the local department of sanitation and/or things thrown out from other cheaply made films but though they're varying in its trashy mish-mash look, they're all so clean in this 'wasteland'. I read all the reviews; a few commented on the abundance of profanity. It has the normal amount of profanity that almost any other English-based film has that's rated 'R', actually probably a bit less There's also a story here. The main problem I saw was each scene is hurried along to the next scene which makes the catch-up (explaining of previous scenes) annoying. Also, there aren't that many (maybe one) seasoned actors, or mainly any actors in this film though they do try. There are some pathetically acted parts such as a scene 20-22 minutes in with this zombie-like dude walking toward another man before some ninja-girl kills him. The zombie-like dude was acting quite poorly. I really didn't get the sword carrying women fighters especially since some of them have machine guns, and there are tanks, and flying ships etc., it just seemed out-of-place.
Overall it's watchable if quite nonsensical throughout. If they did without the cheap theatrics of mutant monsters and just kept to the basic story and didn't rush it from scene-to-scene then I think it wouldn't have been that bad.
Never bring a gun to a knife fight.
nogodnomasters7 December 2017
Warning: Spoilers
On a distant planet a group of white people and clones, all with various Earth accents live on a planet 70 years after a nuclear war. The clones have a mark above and below the left eye that looks like printing on a piece of tape or band-aid. There isn't much of a starship that actually flies in space other than the quick CG opening scene. They travel around in a tank that is about ten times larger inside than outside, a loaner from Dr. Who no doubt. There are women who wore red mop heads as wigs. There are mutants and a really large mutant they must kill, most likely because "Resident Evil" had one for no good reason either, although this one is Godzilla size.
The film was not well organized. The little girl who gave the introduction was a lousy speaker. This was another DVD I had to crank up the volume like a boot-leg. Subtitles would have been nice with a better set-up of characters.
Guide: F-word. Sex. No nudity.
The film was not well organized. The little girl who gave the introduction was a lousy speaker. This was another DVD I had to crank up the volume like a boot-leg. Subtitles would have been nice with a better set-up of characters.
Guide: F-word. Sex. No nudity.
A bit on the busy side and a bit confusing in places, but if you like a shoot 'em up, this has a lot of gunfire and explosions.
reallytorkedoff-8746418 November 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Apparently, it's from the UK, but it has a very Russian or German feel to it. The environment is filled with machinery and massive concrete buildings.
The theme of the starship is introduced early in the movie and mentioned once or twice and it makes an appearance again, but the meaning appears to be missing. Maybe I missed something or maybe they are setting up a sequel.
In the end, while some characters' destiny is resolved, other are left to twist in the wind. There is no lack of literal cannon fodder and some characters seem to exist to introduce a topic, but the topic goes nowhere or the movie ends before it can be discussed further.
It is a strange movie, but I watched the whole thing, so there must have been something in there somewhere.
The theme of the starship is introduced early in the movie and mentioned once or twice and it makes an appearance again, but the meaning appears to be missing. Maybe I missed something or maybe they are setting up a sequel.
In the end, while some characters' destiny is resolved, other are left to twist in the wind. There is no lack of literal cannon fodder and some characters seem to exist to introduce a topic, but the topic goes nowhere or the movie ends before it can be discussed further.
It is a strange movie, but I watched the whole thing, so there must have been something in there somewhere.
Wild Ride
morefog30 August 2019
This movie intrigued me enough to write my first review. If you can keep focused you can follow through all the way to the end, or maybe the beginning. They call this The Last Starship, but the Starship doesn't actually do anything but land during the closing credits. I came here to see if there was a sequel to unravel the what seemed to be the beginnings of a plot.
Where things get lost is there are at least a dozen sides in this warfare movie. You never quite knew who was friend, enemy, distrusted ally, ally of necessity, sleeper agent, turncoat or zombie. If you try very hard you can follow a few of the threads, but I'm certain I missed even more. Basically everyone is trying to kill you or your group as you travel through a hostile wasteland on a mission known only to the main characters, but each of the main characters seems to serve a different master with different orders. In the end the only unifying thread is survival, but you are never quite sure who you should be routing for to survive. I think I understood what was going on by the end, but in the end all of the threads were left untied.
If you can stomach a movie where the plot is wildly fragmented, you don't know friend from foe, characters are minimally developed, dialog is muddled with alternating languages, and lots of people get killed then you might be OK with this. It isn't all bad. That might be too generous. It is all bad, and it is nearly unwatchable, but as the credits rolled I found myself wanting more.
If they could have taken this one movie and instead made a TV series out of it, where they could have devoted one episode to properly explore each of the characters and factions, it might have worked.
By the end I did not feel that I had wasted my time, but I did feel that I had only seen a small part of a much larger story.
Where things get lost is there are at least a dozen sides in this warfare movie. You never quite knew who was friend, enemy, distrusted ally, ally of necessity, sleeper agent, turncoat or zombie. If you try very hard you can follow a few of the threads, but I'm certain I missed even more. Basically everyone is trying to kill you or your group as you travel through a hostile wasteland on a mission known only to the main characters, but each of the main characters seems to serve a different master with different orders. In the end the only unifying thread is survival, but you are never quite sure who you should be routing for to survive. I think I understood what was going on by the end, but in the end all of the threads were left untied.
If you can stomach a movie where the plot is wildly fragmented, you don't know friend from foe, characters are minimally developed, dialog is muddled with alternating languages, and lots of people get killed then you might be OK with this. It isn't all bad. That might be too generous. It is all bad, and it is nearly unwatchable, but as the credits rolled I found myself wanting more.
If they could have taken this one movie and instead made a TV series out of it, where they could have devoted one episode to properly explore each of the characters and factions, it might have worked.
By the end I did not feel that I had wasted my time, but I did feel that I had only seen a small part of a much larger story.
Give it a chance
barry-719002 December 2018
High school production values
mosquitoboys201314 December 2016
If this were a high school project for a drama or A/V group it would be commendable on some levels. Offering it for paid viewing however is near criminal. As another user has noted, a very incongruous and saturated use of profanity - not that there is anything wrong with heavy profanity usage per se, as long as it is integral and flowing - detracts heavily from being able to watch this already nigh-unwatchable flick. Poor continuity, scripting, editing, special effects, use of stock footage ... you get the idea.
I love watching sci-fi movies new or old, and am probably more willing to suspend belief for many aspects of a bad movie than others: but this was just bad without virtually any saving graces. One exception is that there was one actress who I could see even in this atrocity had potential.
Full disclosure ... I FFWD'd through some of the movie and in the end this review IS based on seeing probably only 2/3rds of the whole thing. However, I gritted my teeth so that I could say I gave it as fair a review as it deserved before recommending you avoid wasting the 10 minutes it took before you turned it off.
I love watching sci-fi movies new or old, and am probably more willing to suspend belief for many aspects of a bad movie than others: but this was just bad without virtually any saving graces. One exception is that there was one actress who I could see even in this atrocity had potential.
Full disclosure ... I FFWD'd through some of the movie and in the end this review IS based on seeing probably only 2/3rds of the whole thing. However, I gritted my teeth so that I could say I gave it as fair a review as it deserved before recommending you avoid wasting the 10 minutes it took before you turned it off.
Almost good, needed more exposition and better script
jepyahoo17 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I'm thinking there was something lost in translation because for this being a low budget film they actually had more locations and sets than most rom-coms and more CGI and special effects than star trek. For most with low tolerance for bad movies this would be unwatchable but for people like me that can watch almost anything it only needed some polishing. I don't think the version I watched had excessive profanity, sex, or gore, I'd give it a PG13. It was like a WW2 live action movie wrapped in an anime scifi package. The names are hard to follow, some of the characters are not introduced properly, and there is some confusion to the viewer about where they are going and why. Really all it needed was someone to clean up the script and dialogue and it would have been as good as a bad Hollywood movie.
Plot: A group of soldiers is sent in a tank on a mission to an undisclosed location. There is some disagreement between natural humans and clone humans onboard when the mission changes. Robots, mutants, rebel factions, and virus infected "zombie" humans stand in the way.
P. S. This doesn't happen anywhere near a starship.
Plot: A group of soldiers is sent in a tank on a mission to an undisclosed location. There is some disagreement between natural humans and clone humans onboard when the mission changes. Robots, mutants, rebel factions, and virus infected "zombie" humans stand in the way.
P. S. This doesn't happen anywhere near a starship.
Unbearable scripting (one tiny spoiler to illustrate)
Snootz12 November 2016
Warning: Spoilers
"Obscene language is the refuge of those lacking the ability to say anything more intelligent."
While I am never fond of movies that resort to repeated foul language, I don't really make an issue of this in most of my reviews. That's what the Parental Advisory is for. Reviews are for reviewing the movie itself.
In this case I make an exception. Repeated F-bombing is so excessive and gratuitous it actually distracts from the plot to the point of making the film painful to watch. Which is why I stopped watching it about 7 minutes in and hit the 1-star rating... which I try to reserve for "worse than SyFy channel" movies.
The equally bad scripting makes any toleration of this flick nigh impossible. Tiny spoiler illustration: Within the first 3 minutes a woman intentionally and for no discernible reason leaves a perfectly good shelter to get stomped on by a giant monster. Dialog: "What's that sound?" "I don't know. Something big." -- Woman slowly backs out of shelter where she was totally safe, looks up, screams and is stomped.
Seriously?
I figured the plot line can only get worse from that point on. It did. I stopped it several minutes later, unable to stomach any further terrible writing. Asylum could take notes in "bad" from these script writers.
While I am never fond of movies that resort to repeated foul language, I don't really make an issue of this in most of my reviews. That's what the Parental Advisory is for. Reviews are for reviewing the movie itself.
In this case I make an exception. Repeated F-bombing is so excessive and gratuitous it actually distracts from the plot to the point of making the film painful to watch. Which is why I stopped watching it about 7 minutes in and hit the 1-star rating... which I try to reserve for "worse than SyFy channel" movies.
The equally bad scripting makes any toleration of this flick nigh impossible. Tiny spoiler illustration: Within the first 3 minutes a woman intentionally and for no discernible reason leaves a perfectly good shelter to get stomped on by a giant monster. Dialog: "What's that sound?" "I don't know. Something big." -- Woman slowly backs out of shelter where she was totally safe, looks up, screams and is stomped.
Seriously?
I figured the plot line can only get worse from that point on. It did. I stopped it several minutes later, unable to stomach any further terrible writing. Asylum could take notes in "bad" from these script writers.
Surprisingly Engaging
aschmoe21 January 2020
I found this on Amazon Prime's free movie list and almost immediately turned it off when I saw the poor production value, but in the end, I'm glad that I stuck with. This movie's not for everyone, but in the pantheon of bad sci-fi movies, it's not that bad.
The plot doesn't make perfect sense, but it's action-packed enough to be enjoyable nonetheless. One gets the impression that the writer had a lot more content that got cut because geeze, it's already almost 2 hours long. I get the feeling it would have been a great book series, I hope the author keeps writing. It's the kind of movie that offers a lot of brain food if you like to write your own post-apocalypse stories or RPG settings or such things, but at the same time, it isn't one of those movies with lots of world-building and stale characters. The characters aren't super deep, but they do feel very real. The mood of the movie is somewhat goofy, it's not an angst-ridden apocalypse, but rather a world that the characters have grown up in and come to terms with.
Half-spoiler, the actual plot of the movie has nothing to do with the current plot summary, which was written by the director, which is part of what leads me to believe that the script got heavily edited or a lot of content (probably world-building) got cut out.
The plot doesn't make perfect sense, but it's action-packed enough to be enjoyable nonetheless. One gets the impression that the writer had a lot more content that got cut because geeze, it's already almost 2 hours long. I get the feeling it would have been a great book series, I hope the author keeps writing. It's the kind of movie that offers a lot of brain food if you like to write your own post-apocalypse stories or RPG settings or such things, but at the same time, it isn't one of those movies with lots of world-building and stale characters. The characters aren't super deep, but they do feel very real. The mood of the movie is somewhat goofy, it's not an angst-ridden apocalypse, but rather a world that the characters have grown up in and come to terms with.
Half-spoiler, the actual plot of the movie has nothing to do with the current plot summary, which was written by the director, which is part of what leads me to believe that the script got heavily edited or a lot of content (probably world-building) got cut out.
Suprisingly Entertaining
crogers-8219327 October 2019
Wasn't expecting much but the outrageously complex writing, decent special effects & amusing set design, meticulous editing, and actors that played their roles straight made this German (?) 'B' SciFi film into something unique.
If you're bored with the current Hollywood fare of CGI odyssee clones then give this a watch.
Don't waste your time
examiner_cash29 December 2018
Wasted potential
greenreader4 August 2020
There's a charming campiness to this film that is reminiscent of Dr. Who and A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Yes, the SFX are cheesy, but in a way that works. The world created and the characters and their dress that inhabit it is bizarrely quirky and imaginative.
As another reviewer mentioned however, it attempts to condense too much into too little time therefore you're constantly being thrust into sudden changes in direction and storyline.
As another reviewer mentioned however, it attempts to condense too much into too little time therefore you're constantly being thrust into sudden changes in direction and storyline.
Not just bad but mind numbingly horrible
rkelly-21322 January 2020
I couldn't get through the first 20 minutes. The acting is horrible, the dialog is mindless, and it seems that a plot is non-existent. The 20 minutes I say watching this could have been better served having a root canal. At least the root canal would not have hurt as much.
Misses the True Power of Cheese
Tweetienator3 October 2022
I don't mind the rather low quality of the special effects department, but what drags The Last Starship down for me, are those endless scenes of talking and more talking, and all that talking without any real substance and not interesting whatsoever, and the acting is also of course not a strong suit that will charm you to enjoy your trip. But while this flick is clearly a low budget endeavor, the power of cheese is not strong in this one - it could have been an entertaining affair as many of those cheesy post-apocalyptic and sci-fi flicks made in the 80s, but, it takes itself too serious for its own good and lacks of action scenes.
Truly low budget oddball gem
J1Monkey10 May 2020
This is a movie that is just bizarre. It's part classic post apocalyptic, part sci-fi space raiders, and part societal commentary. Half the foreign cast looks like famous western actors, mostly. There seem to be subplots that aren't fully explored. The special effects for as low budget as it is are surprisingly good. They did a great job of using garbage for gold costume wise and set dressing wise. Parts of it make sense and parts just seem to be story lines that were meant to be cut, but they didn't get all of it. Now don't get me wrong by the star rating, this isn't a good movie, but in terms of bad movies, it's outstanding. Keep an open mind, and enjoy how much they did with so little.
a wacky anime inspired movie with an international cast
georgefeyen27 July 2023
Full of anime tropes and references such as weird colored hair for no reason (we decided the ripped quilt strips are cheaper than real wigs), japanese names for monsters, japanese gambling games wearing in fundoshi (underwear), and a cult of ninja women dispatching zombies with swords! The acting and costumes are pretty damn good for obviously being a lower budget film and the sets are pretty good too, although theres a few janky CGI backgrounds it all fits together pretty well. Cinematography is top notch. I thought the prospect of zombies AND machines AND a giant monster was gonna be goofy, and it is, but they made it fun to watch. Character development is good too and the writing is decent.
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