Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell (2018 Video)

Jamie Kennedy: Travis B. Welker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Travis B. Welker : You're closing up? Dude, it's not Miller time yet. You can't find your beach.

  Burt Gummer : Time for some shut-eye.

  Travis B. Welker : Since when do you "shut-eye" in the middle of the afternoon?

  Burt Gummer : Since you showed up!

• Mac : Welcome to the Great White North, eh!

  Travis B. Welker : Otherwise known as Nowheresville!

  Mac : You're about 1,000 miles north of there! You're somewhere between, uh, Ain't-Never-Been and Don't-Wanna-Go!

• Travis B. Welker : [about Graboids]  Oh, come on, man! They're gonna be like sand sharks bobbing for apples!

  Burt Gummer : Yeah, and we'll be the Granny Smiths!

• Burt Gummer : Yeah, but if it doesn't work, we die.

  Travis B. Welker : So what the hell, Burt? Have you ever nailed Jell-O to a wall?

  Burt Gummer : I'm not sure how that's relevant.

  Travis B. Welker : It's relevant because I did it. And guess what? It stuck. You know why? Because everyone said I couldn't.

• Travis B. Welker : You ever seen an Ass Blaster before?

  Dr. Rita Sims : Nope.

  Travis B. Welker : Yeah?

  Dr. Rita Sims : This is a first.

  Travis B. Welker : They're pretty cool, actually, but they're mean, and they stink.

  Dr. Rita Sims : I had a boyfriend like that once.

  Travis B. Welker : You single?

  Dr. Rita Sims : Are you trying to get sweet with me?

  Travis B. Welker : Definitely.

  Dr. Rita Sims : It's not gonna work.

• Swackhammer : [about one of the Graboids]  Looks like Sally's testing our underground electrical fence.

  Travis B. Welker : Who's Sally?

  Dr. Rita Sims : [Swackhammer points at the Graboid]  You named it?

  Swackhammer : After an ex. Sally Soulsmasher. She was a dirty, man-eating bitch who used to stick her nose where it didn't belong.

• Dr. Rita Sims : That thing's got me by the pants!

  Travis B. Welker : So take off your pants!

  Dr. Rita Sims : 100% no!

  Travis B. Welker : Take off your pants, Rita!

  Dr. Rita Sims : No!

  Travis B. Welker : Take them off now, goddammit!

  Dr. Rita Sims : No!

  Travis B. Welker : Why?

  Dr. Rita Sims : I'm not wearing any underwear!

  Travis B. Welker : Ufff!

• Travis B. Welker : Any movement?

  Dr. Rita Sims : Nothing. Zip.

  Aklark : Zilch.

  Swackhammer : Nada mucho.

• Travis B. Welker : [speaks to himself]  That's right, soldier. This is FOB. DOA. TMZ. My balls are in the Guiness Book of Balls!

• Travis B. Welker : Oh come on Burt. Don't be hurt! All right, now that I'm back, let's hit that reset button, huh? Put some fresh content up on YouTube, try and resurrect that Bull's-Eye Brand.

  Burt Gummer : [shouts at Travis]  Not doing prepper videos anymore! My director quit on me.

  Travis B. Welker : No, he didn't. He's right here. I just had a small mental health break.

  [looks at Burt's hat] 

  Travis B. Welker : What's up with that hat? Wait a minute. You changed teams?

  Burt Gummer : [shouts at him louder]  No, just hats!

• Burt Gummer : Where are you going?

  Travis B. Welker : Round two! I'm comin' with.

  Burt Gummer : Request denied!

  Travis B. Welker : What? Come on, here, stop bein' Burt for a minute, and logic this thing out with me. This is our chance to revive Burt Gummer's Bull's-Eye Brand, get you free of the taxman, dude! Let's be honest. You've got a lot of red in your ledger.

  Burt Gummer : My financial status is none of your damn beeswax! And you'll just be in the way.

  Travis B. Welker : Oh, like I was in South Africa? Huh?

  Burt Gummer : That was a one-off! Nothing more!

  Travis B. Welker : You're looking at this through the wrong end of the telescope here, friend! What 'bout your legacy, huh?

  Burt Gummer : What about it?

  Travis B. Welker : Do you know of any other Graboid hunters out there? Uh, I don't. I know, you know, Bigfoot hunters... No! You're Burt Gummer! You're a one-off! Come on man, teach me! Pay it forward.

  Burt Gummer : Oh, I'm not dead yet!

  Travis B. Welker : I know, and I'm not interested in talking about your mortality, either, But think about it. Who's gonna fill your shoes when you can no longer outrun or outgun these beasts, huh? I've got to tell you something. Burt Gummer's got some big-ass shoes to fill.

  Burt Gummer : Size 12s.

  Travis B. Welker : I've seen you in the locker room!

  Burt Gummer : And you're my heir apparent. Is that it?

  Travis B. Welker : You already led me through one Graboid gauntlet.

  Burt Gummer : There's a lot you still don't know!

  Travis B. Welker : Exactly my point! Learning can be so fun! Rosetta Stone me, dawg!

• Travis B. Welker : How are you feelin', Burt?

  Burt Gummer : Speaking of underachievers, I am as strong as a fifth of whiskey, Wingman.

  Travis B. Welker : Really? 'Cause you looked slower than the Mississippi out there.

  Burt Gummer : Where's my munitions, my combat vest, my clothes, huh?

  Travis B. Welker : To your left.

• Travis B. Welker : Yeah, I know that's all macho and everything, Burt, but I happen to care about your health!

  Burt Gummer : Go care somplace else!

  Travis B. Welker : That's a dick thing to say!

• Mr. Cutts : Man, am I glad to see you guys now! Get me down from here!

  Swackhammer : Jump, you chicken-shit!

  Travis B. Welker : No, no, no. Don't jump, okay? But I'll tell you what you can do: Remove all the tax liens on Mr. Gummer for the last 27 years and give him back his house, and I'll make sure that you stay on this side of the tundra.

  Mr. Cutts : Yeah, whatever. Done.

  Travis B. Welker : Uh, no, we're not done! We also don't wanna pay taxes for the rest of our life! Federal or state, yeah!

  Mr. Cutts : Nevada doesn't have state taxes!

  Travis B. Welker : Yeah, no federal taxes!

  Mr. Cutts : Well, that's gonna be a hard one to swing!

  Travis B. Welker : Uh, have a nice life!

  Mr. Cutts : Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine! I'll do it.

  Swackhammer : [brings a ladder. Talks to Mr. Cutts]  You didn't see the ladder, asshole?

  Travis B. Welker : [Prevents the ladder to hit his testicles. Talks to Swackhammer]  Dude! Baby bag!

  Swackhammer : [to Mr. Cutts]  Hey, candy-ass! If you have a set of balls, now would be the time to use them!

• Travis B. Welker : You ever seen an Ass Blaster before?

  Aussie : Nope.

  Travis B. Welker : Yeah?

  Aussie : This is a first.

  Travis B. Welker : They're pretty cool, actually, but they're mean, and they stink.

  Aussie : I had a boyfriend like that once.

  Travis B. Welker : You single?

  Aussie : Are you trying to get sweet with me?

  Travis B. Welker : Definitely.

  Aussie : It's not gonna work.

• Swackhammer : [about one of the Graboids]  Looks like Sally's testing our underground electrical fence.

  Travis B. Welker : Who's Sally?

  Aussie : [Swackhammer points at the Graboid]  You named it?

  Swackhammer : After an ex. Sally Soulsmasher. She was a dirty, man-eating bitch who used to stick her nose where it didn't belong.

• Aussie : That thing's got me by the pants!

  Travis B. Welker : So take off your pants!

  Aussie : 100% no!

  Travis B. Welker : Take off your pants, Rita!

  Aussie : No!

  Travis B. Welker : Take them off now, goddammit!

  Aussie : No!

  Travis B. Welker : Why?

  Aussie : I'm not wearing any underwear!

  Travis B. Welker : Ufff!

• Travis B. Welker : Any movement?

  Aussie : Nothing. Zip.

  Mr. Cutts : Zilch.

  Swackhammer : Nada mucho.

• Yankee : Man, am I glad to see you guys now! Get me down from here!

  Swackhammer : Jump, you chicken-shit!

  Travis B. Welker : No, no, no. Don't jump, okay? But I'll tell you what you can do: Remove all the tax liens on Mr. Gummer for the last 27 years and give him back his house, and I'll make sure that you stay on this side of the tundra.

  Yankee : Yeah, whatever. Done.

  Travis B. Welker : Uh, no, we're not done! We also don't wanna pay taxes for the rest of our life! Federal or state, yeah!

  Yankee : Nevada doesn't have state taxes!

  Travis B. Welker : Yeah, no federal taxes!

  Yankee : Well, that's gonna be a hard one to swing!

  Travis B. Welker : Uh, have a nice life!

  Yankee : Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine! I'll do it.

  Swackhammer : [brings a ladder. Talks to Mr. Cutts]  You didn't see the ladder, asshole?

  Travis B. Welker : [Prevents the ladder to hit his testicles. Talks to Swackhammer]  Dude! Baby bag!

  Swackhammer : [to Mr. Cutts]  Hey, candy-ass! If you have a set of balls, now would be the time to use them!

• Travis B. Welker : You ever seen an Ass Blaster before?

  Geo-Tech Vargas : Nope.

  Travis B. Welker : Yeah?

  Geo-Tech Vargas : This is a first.

  Travis B. Welker : They're pretty cool, actually, but they're mean, and they stink.

  Geo-Tech Vargas : I had a boyfriend like that once.

  Travis B. Welker : You single?

  Geo-Tech Vargas : Are you trying to get sweet with me?

  Travis B. Welker : Definitely.

  Geo-Tech Vargas : It's not gonna work.

• Royal Mounted : [about one of the Graboids]  Looks like Sally's testing our underground electrical fence.

  Travis B. Welker : Who's Sally?

  Geo-Tech Vargas : [Swackhammer points at the Graboid]  You named it?

  Royal Mounted : After an ex. Sally Soulsmasher. She was a dirty, man-eating bitch who used to stick her nose where it didn't belong.

• Geo-Tech Vargas : That thing's got me by the pants!

  Travis B. Welker : So take off your pants!

  Geo-Tech Vargas : 100% no!

  Travis B. Welker : Take off your pants, Rita!

  Geo-Tech Vargas : No!

  Travis B. Welker : Take them off now, goddammit!

  Geo-Tech Vargas : No!

  Travis B. Welker : Why?

  Geo-Tech Vargas : I'm not wearing any underwear!

  Travis B. Welker : Ufff!

• Travis B. Welker : Any movement?

  Geo-Tech Vargas : Nothing. Zip.

  Dutch : Zilch.

  Royal Mounted : Nada mucho.

• Swackhammer : Man, am I glad to see you guys now! Get me down from here!

  Royal Mounted : Jump, you chicken-shit!

  Travis B. Welker : No, no, no. Don't jump, okay? But I'll tell you what you can do: Remove all the tax liens on Mr. Gummer for the last 27 years and give him back his house, and I'll make sure that you stay on this side of the tundra.

  Swackhammer : Yeah, whatever. Done.

  Travis B. Welker : Uh, no, we're not done! We also don't wanna pay taxes for the rest of our life! Federal or state, yeah!

  Swackhammer : Nevada doesn't have state taxes!

  Travis B. Welker : Yeah, no federal taxes!

  Swackhammer : Well, that's gonna be a hard one to swing!

  Travis B. Welker : Uh, have a nice life!

  Swackhammer : Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, fine! I'll do it.

  Royal Mounted : [brings a ladder. Talks to Mr. Cutts]  You didn't see the ladder, asshole?

  Travis B. Welker : [Prevents the ladder to hit his testicles. Talks to Swackhammer]  Dude! Baby bag!

  Royal Mounted : [to Mr. Cutts]  Hey, candy-ass! If you have a set of balls, now would be the time to use them!