- Rob Lowe: [to Ann Coulter] Ann, after your set tonight, we've all witnessed the first bombing that you can't blame on a Muslim.
- Jimmy Carr: [to Ann Coulter] One of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet bitches alive, but it's not too late to change, Ann - you could kill yourself.
- Pete Davidson: Last year we had Martha Stewart, who sells sheets, and now we have Ann Coulter, who cuts eye holes in them.
- Payton Manning: I'm not the only athlete up here tonight. As you all know, earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby. Congrats on that Ann. Great job.
- Nikki Glaser: [to Ann Coulter] The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.
- Ann Coulter - Roaster: Thank you, everybody, and welcome to the Comedy Central Roast of Ann Coulter, with roastmaster Rob Lowe.