The Vampire Diaries (TV Series)

Detoured on Some Random Backwoods Path to Hell (2016)

Ian Somerhalder: Damon Salvatore

Photos 

Quotes 

• Damon Salvatore : [to the twins]  Hi, little munchkins. Remember me?

• Damon Salvatore : [from deleted scene] 

  [as the twins run around giggling] 

  Damon Salvatore : Little rug rats.

  Seline : I love those kids. Remind me of the way I used to be. Innocent. Happy.

  Damon Salvatore : And yet, you're so ready to just hand them over to Cade, wrapped in a bow.

  Seline : You have to understand. I'm not just sacrificing innocent children.

  Damon Salvatore : Oh, I don't have to understand anything. I am evil, and selfish. What puzzles me, is why you're going through all this trouble.

  Seline : I'm tired of working for the Devil. It has been... three thousand years. I don't want to be a slave anymore. I want to live a normal life, and die a natural death.

  Damon Salvatore : I guess. If you're into that sort of thing.

  Seline : So, what's your big plan?

  Damon Salvatore : Hmm.

  [taps his head] 

  Damon Salvatore : Still cooking.

  Seline : Fine. But if you do anything... to mess up my future... I will take great pleasure in eating every ounce of flesh... from your body.

  Damon Salvatore : [with sour look]  Well, I take back everything I said about Mary Poppins. You're just plain nasty.

  [her nostrils flare as she glares at him] 

• Sybil : [car stopped at motel]  Looks like someone's taking charge.

  Seline : Why are we stopping here?

  Damon Salvatore : Because... I have been with you for roughly... five hours, and in that time, we've almost been captured by the bumbling human authorities not once, but *twice.* On the plus side, I'm happy to see that there's some wiggle room in this arrangement of eternal servitude.

  [claps his hands together] 

  Damon Salvatore : So... let's do this. Hmm?

  Seline : Do what?

  Damon Salvatore : Call the big man. Tell me exactly what we need to do to summon him up, and then let's get to it.

  Seline : [laughs, shakes her head]  I'm not telling you.

  Sybil : A body of water, a couple of human bodies...

  Seline : Sybil!

  Damon Salvatore : Perfect! Look at this!

  [gestures at their surroundings] 

  Damon Salvatore : We have a pool. We have some residents. Ah! And, hey, look. Free

  [confidential whisper:] 

  Damon Salvatore : HBO.

  Seline : Are you dense? This is a long game. Those girls won't be ready for at least a *decade.*

  Damon Salvatore : No reason we can't get started on approvals.

  Seline : I'm not doing this.

  Damon Salvatore : Oh, yes, you are. You know why? Because you wanna get out of Hell as much as I do. And with a little help, I have a way that we can all win. A plan, a good one. Get the kids out of the car seats. Let's go summon the Devil. Come on.