Growing Up Coy (2016) User Reviews

Important topic but does it go too far?

[blumdeluxe · 6/10 · 5 February 2017]

"Growing up Coy" touches the important issue of transgender rights with a special focus on the governmental and public aspect. In particular it deals with the fight of a family for their daughter that isn't denied access to the girl's restroom at her school after complaints from other parents.

It is hard to imagine how emotionally challenging it must be to lead this fight against all odds, for the best of your child. With regards to the further special conditions the family deals with, it is stunning how much power they put into their fight. To think that just because by now you already heard of similar cases, it was unnecessary to give this topic more attention is a false view in my opinion. Negative views on Transgenders are an ongoing issue and problem in our societies.

In this case though, I did feel a bit bad for Coy. I get that her parents do all this for her and that they had to launch a campaign to enable a change in politics. Still at a later stage of the documentary, Coy clearly needs some private space that she isn't given. And that was hard so see. To withdraw from the Media sure was a right decision. I just fear it is a decision that should have been made a bit earlier, for the sake of the child.

Uncomfortable to watch, one sided documentary

[bck85 · 3/10 · 15 January 2017]

This documentary was not quite what I expect a good documentary to be like.

Mild spoilers ahead, so be warned, if you keep reading.

First, it lacks in giving you new information. There are a few facts mentioned, most of them are already known.

Second, and far more disappointing: I couldn't stand the mother at all. I kept wondering, if she did all the additional interviews vastly for money, especially when Coy didn't seem to enjoy the being interviewed situation anymore (or at all). Furthermore, I disliked the way the couple handled this whole going public thing. At the end of the film, I was left with the impression, that the father didn't quite had anything to say as he was rarely at home, busy with his studying. So it seems like it was mainly her decision to put Coy out there, while clearly not thinking through what it might change or be like for Coy while she's growing up and becoming an adult. This whole documentary was awfully one-sided.

To be honest, I totally agree with letting your kids be the way, they feel comfortable and not try to push them into gender stereotypes. But I kinda had an issue, that they put a six year old so much into the spotlight of the media. Fight for your/their rights and equality, enlighten people, but do it from your position without pushing people who cannot fully consent out into the open.

Inspiring, but also a little depressing

[raejay-03977 · 9/10 · 19 February 2017]

I am happy that this documentary covered Coy's story and helped shed more light on the issues surrounding transgender people's rights. Unfortunately, as many of the comments from the school and social or traditional media sites showed, so many people--even those whose jobs require them to be educated on the subject--are astonishingly uninformed on child development and human sexuality and gender. Oddly enough, many people seem to be confused about how public bathrooms work, as well.

In the film, a news commentator and many people criticizing Coy's parents online suggest "six-year-olds don't know anything about their sex or sexuality." However, childhood development research has shown that "sexuality" exists throughout our lives in one way or another, and to think that kids are unaware of their own bodies or how others treat them based on perceived sex/gender is naive. Additionally, there are established cases of childhood gender dysphoria, and many trans adults claim they knew their gender identity from a very young age.

Worse yet, commenters in the documentary and even online today claim that allowing Coy to be a girl is "sexualizing" her, even though gender, sex, sexualization, and sexual orientation are not the same thing. The repeated confusing of Coy's trans*gender* with her sex, sexual orientation, and sexuality shows the scope of the often vitriolic ignorance and misinformation Coy and her family face before and especially during their publicly visible legal battle.

But, perhaps the most frustrating part covered is the school's and others' argument that, were Coy to be allowed in the girls' bathroom, other little girls might see her genitalia. Unless this school has a policy of requiring girls use the toilet with stall doors open (which would be strange, but a separate issue), I am not sure how any student would see another's genitals...

While the documentary doesn't much address the scientific aspects of gender dysphoria or child psychology or gender vs. sex, I think it still has merit. Information on all of these topics--development, psychology, and gender (and maybe even on how public restrooms have stalls with doors)--is readily available to anyone with the Internet. Since the facts are accessible, maybe more widespread awareness could encourage people to educate themselves and to be more empathetic with kids and adults like Coy.

This documentary, with the mostly sympathetic--but also flawed--people involved in the story might help inspire more self-education and tolerance of transgender people. It's sad that, for now, other kids like Coy, as well as transgender teens and adults, will still face so much hostility (as shown in the film) and even violence in schools, communities, and workplaces. Perhaps more frightening, though, is what the documentary mentions at the end--not all of this nastiness comes from internet trolls or bullies in schools; some more recent cases come from our own state governments, passing laws that hurt transgender people, including children like Coy, simply because they are different from what's most familiar to some people.

Nothing new here

[florisklaver76 · 4/10 · 30 January 2017]

This documentary is really nothing new or special. It just follows a family that has a boy who feels like he is a girl, which happens. The main struggle in this film is that the school is not allowing Coy to keep on using the girls restroom which in my opinion is not enough to make an interesting documentary.

It actually feels more like a reality show that you would see on TLC or some channel like that. It follows the family around without actually sending a message or going into anything substantial. We all know by now it is difficult for transgender kids, this film does not give you anything new nor does it help in letting people understand and accept transgender kids.

it's a wonderful film

[howboutthisone_huh · 8/10 · 7 January 2017]

This is one of the reasons I don't cancel netflix. From time to time, there are inspirational documentaries that make me smile and this is one of them.

It always amazes and sickens me how there are so many ignorant people in the united states that feel compelled to lash out and ridicule others that are different. Sexual orientation, sexual preferences and sex mean completely different things for pre-teen children than they do for adults. If you have have a child that feels differently than their anatomy there could be various physical and psychological reasons for it that has nothing to do with how adults view sex and attraction. We're not all wired the same. Psychology is an imprecise science but their are many ideas that are not a matter of opinion and one of those is that we are not all wired the same. I hope anyone watching this can learn to be more tolerant especially if you are in a similar situation. I don't personally have transgender children but as these parents point out it's not the end of the world. It's not nearly the worst thing that can happen to your children unless you make it that way or you let other people make it that way. Just let your kids be.

What's amazing about this story is how well this couple deal with the situation on top of all the other challenges they have with their other children. Most people I know, including myself probably couldn't handle it as well and then on top of that they put their lives out in the public view in order to change perception of transgenders. Rather than criticize and ridicule, those opposing them should learn from this couple and try to find a common ground. Do I agree that children of all sexes should share one bathroom, no, but I do feel that we have to include everyone and sometimes make special exceptions no matter how uncomfortable.

I won't give away the details but at the end they list the vocational aspirations of both parents and it is strikingly ironic and amusing if you watched the whole film. I don't know if it's just the way the filmmakers skewed the film or their lives are actually like that but best wishes to them and their family.