Break-Up Nightmare

In smallish-town Redford, beautiful 19-year-old Celesta DeAstis (as Rachel Light) likes to open her shirt and swap spit with handsome and muscular Mark Grossman (as Troy). He says college girls are coming on hard and wants to take some photos of Ms. DeAstis to remind him what he's got back home in Redford. After a make-out session, she reluctantly agrees to pose for some topless cellphone photos. Two weeks later, the couple has a bitter break-up, with DeAstis' sexy but strong-armed mama Jennifer Dorogi (as Barbara) throwing Mr. Grossman out on his keister. As you may have guessed, the topless photos are shared on the Internet. DeAstis can't go anywhere without eliciting sneers, snickers and sexual propositions...

"Break-Up Nightmare" is a fairly obvious story...

The "revenge pornography" topic is commendable. But this treatment, by director Mark Quod of writer Delondra Williams' tale, is woeful. It simply degenerates into absurdity. Best is the film's establishment of setting. They begin by giving us a look at Redford, with a little nod to the classic "Peyton Place" opening from the 1960s. Locations are nicely interspersed with interiors throughout. Best performance is that of DeAstis' curly-haired co-worker Freeman Lyon (as Ryan), he cracks bad jokes and acts most naturally. The producers make the town rich in institutionalized Black Power and reverse the gender roles given strong, eyebrow-arched Ms. Dorogi and her girly ex-husband. It seems too much like pandering, though.

**** Break-Up Nightmare (2016/3/6) Mark Quod ~ Jennifer Dorogi, Celesta DeAstis, Freeman Lyon, Mark Grossman

I know that lifetime movies are not known for their amazing plot and story lines.. but this movie is horrible. The plot is ridiculous, the writing is comical.. no one reacts like that..and the acting is so fake..the best actors in the movie were the cops who arrested the kid in the house.. because they didn't talk much. Please take some acting classes!

This film is everything that folks who make fun of Lifetime movies are making fun of. It suffers from a very poor script, and actors from the Mediocre School of Acting. The mother, in particular, is pretty dreadful, though the daughter could probably do quite well in another story with a different director.

Part of the problem is that at its heart, this is little more than an after school special, about a stupid teenage girl who does stupid things. We get it - we have been 'getting it' for the past ten years. And as such, this feels tired and washed out.

Some of the offerings from Lifetime are really very good, but this is not one of them. As average as they come. It should be called 'Breakup Nightmare: Now in Beige!'

Last Saturday, April 30 I watched three, count 'em, three movies in a row on the Lifetime channel, all apparently shown under a rubric called "Don't Mess with Mommy" even though only the first really came under that theme. It was also by far the best of the three: "Break-Up Nightmare." The principals in this one are mother Barbara Light (Jennifer Dorogi) and her teenage daughter Rachel (Celesta DeAstis) — and kudos are definitely in order to casting director Scotty Mullen for finding two actresses who look enough alike that we can believe them as mother and daughter (though Jennifer Dorogi is hot enough we could even more readily believe her as Celesta DeAstis' older sister than as her mom!). In the opening scene Rachel is in her bedroom with her boyfriend Troy (the genuinely hot Mark Grossman — we don't get to see him shirtless, alas, but even covered he's got great pecs!), and of course, this being a Lifetime movie about a teenage girl, her boyfriend wants to have sex with her but she's holding him off. She does yield to his entreaties to let him take naked pictures of her, saying that he'll be going off to college (probably on an athletic scholarship because he doesn't seem like the brightest bulb in the chandelier) and wants her on his phone to remind himself of her and help him fend off the college girls that will be after him. Then there's a title reading "Two Weeks Later" (something of a pleasant surprise since Lifetime movies generally jump months or even years between these prologues and the main body of the films), and two weeks later Troy has dumped Rachel and is looking for female companionship that will be more, shall we say, accommodating. He's also got his revenge against Rachel by posting her photos to a so-called "revenge porn" site whose proprietor, Ashton Banks (Daron McFarland), has an attitude towards women that makes Donald Trump's look like a model of sensitivity by comparison. The motto of his site is "Squirt 'Em and Hurt 'Em," and it's clear from the text on his home page that it's based on the idea that if a woman turns down a man for sex, she's made herself fair game for any sort of humiliation he cares to dish out. Rachel's pics end up on this site and go viral, and in the little town of "Redford" (pop. 2,340) in which this is taking place, everyone, it seems, recognizes her.

"Break-Up Nightmare" has a couple of typical flaws for a Lifetime movie: the almost supernatural power of the villain and a "surprise" twist that's considerably less surprising than the writer thought it was. But the film is also an engagingly tense thriller, well directed by Quod (whose avoidance of flanging and other fancy music-video effects seemed all the more welcome compared to the way the next two films on Lifetime's program were directed) and convincingly acted all the way around. This isn't a great movie but it's a reasonably convincing thriller that may push credibility but doesn't go whole-hog into crazy or silly plotting, and the ending is a logical summing-up of what's gone before instead of the nihilistic wrap-ups of Lifetime's other two films the same night, "Seduced" and "Bad Behavior."

I saw this was produced by "The Asylum" which is the same team behind Syfy "hits" like Z Nation and Sharknado, etc. This was the only reason I continued to watch, as I normally have no interest in Lifetime shows or movies at all.

I honestly had the feeling that the movie was written/directed/produced in the same manner as a parody film like "Airplane", or "Scary Movie", and that they just dialed it back a tiny bit so it was not too overtly apparent. The end result is apparently the standard kind of Lifetime movie that all the girls and womens and other bon-bon chompers love to watch, all curled up under a cozy blanket or whatever.

Its so, so, so trite - so contrived - so utterly ludicrous. Its definitely laughable, on its face - but again the whole premise is just boring enough so that it actually rides the line between complete farce and standard TV movie. If this was intentionally done - its fairly brilliant. I can see this as a winning formula for subversive production teams who are forced to somehow pay the bills, and yet still wish to leverage their particular talents and skills. Its almost Troma-like in its blatant and wanton stupidity.

So, Im not sure what kind of rating to give it - because I could be reading far too much into this. It could be a very honest and earnest attempt at a "solid Lifetime movie", whatever that is. I just have a hard time thinking the guys behind Sharknado would be able to do something like this without recognizing the inherent tongue-in-cheek nature of the material.

Its worth a watch in this light, if you don't have anything better to do. Somewhat fascinating in a "what if..." kind of way.