- Patton Oswalt: I know I'm an old cis, white motherfucker, but don't give me shit because I didn't know the right term. Fucking RuPaul got into shit for saying tranny. Ru-fucking-Paul, who... She laid down on the barbed wire of discrimination throughout the '70s and '80s so this new generation could run across her back and yell at her for saying tranny.
- Patton Oswalt: At Barely-A-Clown Productions, we find the most disaffected Silverlake hipster and give him or her $50 to put down the David Foster Wallace book and head at a leisurely pace towards your child's birthday and/or celebration.