- Darryl Whitefeather: Oh, come on! You guys aren't weirded out because I'm bisexual, are you?
- Jim: No, we're weirded out by the fact that our boss just called a meeting to tell us that.
- Darryl Whitefeather: Well, I'm sure you noticed that I've been going through a lot lately, and I know you've often wondered, "Who is Darryl, really?"
- Paula Proctor: No, never.
- Jim: Darryl, until February, I thought your name was Jasper.
- Darryl Whitefeather: So listen, I told everyone at work about my new situation and they were all very excited...
- White Josh: That's great!
- Darryl Whitefeather: ...to meet you!
- White Josh: Really? You want me to meet your coworkers?
- Darryl Whitefeather: Mmm-hmm.
- White Josh: You know, that's not a stage in anyone's relationship.
- White Josh: I think we can just hang out, you know. No strings.
- Darryl Whitefeather: No strings? Hmm. Does that mean you're dating other people?
- White Josh: Well, I'm not not dating other people.
- Darryl Whitefeather: Double-negatives always stress me out, I don't know what that means.
- Rebecca Bunch: I'm the villain in my own story. I'm the witch in my own tale. Though I insist I'm a protagonist, it's clear that my soul is up for sale. I'm the villain in my own story, the bad guy in my TV show. I'm the 'who' in the whodunit, when I go to Hell I'll run it as Satan's CFO!
- Rebecca Bunch: I'm the villain in my own story, my actions have gone way too far. I told myself that I was Jasmine, but I realize now, I'm Jafar. We're told love conquers all, but that only applies to the hero. Is the enemy what I'm meant to be? Is being the villain my destiny?
- Greg Serrano: I'm a jerk.
- Heather Davis: Look, the mature, rational side of me knows that you're not a jerk, you just don't feel the same way about me that I do about you. But, so, the emotional side of me wants to spear you through the eye with this dart!
- Darryl Whitefeather: I'm getting bi, and it's something I'd like to demystify. It's not a phase, I'm not confused, not indecisive, I don't have the gotta choose blues. I don't care if you wear high heels or a tie, you might just catch my eye because I'm definitely bi!
- Darryl Whitefeather: Now some may say, "Aw, you're just gay! Why don't you just go gay all the way?" But that's not it, cuz bi's legit! Whether you're a he or a she, we might be a perfect fit.