- Paula Proctor: Well, what happened was she was working hard at a New York job making dough but it made her blue. One day she was crying a lot, and so she decided to move to West Covina, California. Brand new pals, new career. It happens to be where Josh lives and that's exactly why she's here.
- Scott Proctor: She's a crazy ex-girlfriend.
- Paula Proctor: What? No, she's not.
- Scott Proctor: She's a crazy ex-girlfriend.
- Paula Proctor: That's a sexist term, Scott.
- Scott Proctor: She's a crazy ex-girlfriend.
- Paula Proctor: Okay, just stop talking for a second.
- Scott Proctor: She's so broken inside.
- Paula Proctor: The situation is a lot more nuanced than that.
- Scott Proctor: C-R-A-Z-Y.
- Paula Proctor: I know how to spell, Scott.
- Scott Proctor: She's a crazy ex-girlfriend.
- Rebecca Bunch: I haven't seen you in a while.
- Greg Serrano: Yeah, I've been avoiding you.
- Rebecca Bunch: Okay, by dating my next-door neighbor and then showing up at my door?
- Scott Proctor: What should we do, Mr. Brah?
- Father Brah: Please, Mr. Brah was my father. I'm Father Brah.
- Paula Proctor: Look, Scott and I understand each other, and that's enough. So I don't wanna rock the boat. You know, we rock the boat and then we just - we'll flip the whole thing.
- Father Brah: Paula, if you don't deal with your unhappiness, problems only grow. At that point, forget about flippin' the boat, you're putting a hole right in the boat! That's classic self-sabotage... Scott, Paula, be the boat, not the hole. Nobody's likes a hole.
- Rebecca Bunch: Tell Heather not to open the folder that says Taxes. If she's looking for porn, there's a folder that says Porn. They're the good kind with plots, that's why the hard drive is so big.