- BoJack Horseman: [Talking to Princess Carolyn while she is cooking] Just 'cause you're good at something doesn't mean you have to do it. I'm good at driving sober, but I don't relish the opportunity.
- Sandro: [Speaking to BoJack] You are the opposite of an onion. Because if I cut you I'm no gonna cry.
- BoJack Horseman: I do love you, by the way. I mean, as much as I am capable of loving anyone. Which is never enough. I'm sorry.
- Princess Carolyn: You say you want professionalism? Bullshit. You want a mommy you can slide your dick in and out of.
- BoJack Horseman: I can want that and also want professionalism. A sex mommy that also keeps her boundaries, is that too much to ask?
- Princess Carolyn: Did you ever love me? At all?
- BoJack Horseman: I don't, I-I'm not... you know that I don't do the whole love thing. Either you end up hurting someone or they hurt you, so what's the point?
- BoJack Horseman: I'm a real jerk, huh?
- Princess Carolyn: Yeah but, you're honest, straightforward. You're not fake nice and you don't beat around the bush. Your heart is tender so you protect it from other people, but sometimes you open up a wall and it's incredible. You're doing the best you can considering your asshole parents. You've got great taste in art, and that pink spot on your nose is just adorable. How many nice things was that, about ten?
- BoJack Horseman: Yeah, just about.
- Princess Carolyn: Okay one more. You let me help you tonight because you knew I needed it. You did it for me. Which was very sweet.
- Princess Carolyn: You are loved by millions.
- BoJack Horseman: That's not a compliment. So is Kim Jong Un and Teri Hatcher.
- BoJack Horseman: Everyone's dumb and I am great. Why do I always forget that?
- Princess Carolyn: That's the spirit.
- BoJack Horseman: Critics are the worst. That's my review of critics. Two thumbs down! Four percent fresh! One star! You all eat a flat butt!
- Song on radio: Keep driving, keep driving / Girl, don't turn that car around / Break your pattern of needing to fix other people / Just keep on driving away
- Princess Carolyn: Ugh, who do they write these songs for?
- Song on radio: Don't go back to the restaurant, Princess Carolyn / Keep driving away
- Princess Carolyn: BoJack?
- BoJack Horseman: Yeah?
- Princess Carolyn: Are we friends?
- BoJack Horseman: Yeah. I mean, I think we are. Or I think we can be.
- Princess Carolyn: Okay, then as a friend, I'm asking you. Please don't leave me.
- BoJack Horseman: Princess Carolyn...
- Princess Carolyn: Please, I can turn this around, I just need more time. We're in a fragile period, still finding our feet. Just give me six months and then you can go. I promise, I'll never ask anything from you again, but please, give me six months.
- Waiter: [Interrupting them] Sorry, I left my coat here.
- [whistling a tune]
- Waiter: I got it.
- Princess Carolyn: So? What do you think?
- BoJack Horseman: No.